Accepting Compliments Helps Avoid Bad Habits

July 18, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

A compliment denied is punishment self-inflicted.”

We are very quick to beat ourselves up – and incredibly slow to congratulate ourselves. We also tend to dismiss it when others do, by showing off our “big but.” You know…

A friend says, “Wow! You look like you’ve lost a whole lot of weight! You look great!”

We reply, “Yeah, but, I’ve got so far to go.”

Or, someone says, “You are a great mom! I can’t believe how well you take care of your children.”

And again, “Yeah, but, you should have seen me last week. I was like a banshee.”

There is a tremendous difference between being proud of what we do and being conceited. Each time we deny a compliment — or beat ourselves up over a mistake – we avoid the opportunity to feel good. That engages our habit (whether that be eating, drinking, smoking, stress…) and we end up feeling worse, furthering the drive to engage in the habit.

Remember, if guilt & shame were motivational, we’d all be happier, healthier, and more successful.

Enjoy a compliment this week – and pass one on.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Complain, Complain, Complain… Can We Put Things in Perspective?

July 6, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My, but we’ve become a grouchy lot, haven’t we?

Maybe it’s climate change, or the economy; who knows? It could be the alignment of the stars for all I know, but we’ve got our cranky pants hitched on and we’re wearing ‘em a little too snug around our sensitive parts.

Okay, maybe YOU are not cranky, but many of us are, and if you won’t own it, I will.

I’m at the supermarket loading up on low-calorie, high-fiber, sugar-free, non-fat, no-taste foods that I force down my gullet in order to keep my weight in check. I really want chocolate, french fries, and chips; but that’s not happening, so I’m feeling deprived. Adding insult to injury, I don’t have time for this errand, but since my refrigerator resembles an arctic cave, I’m cooling my jets in the check out line. The lady in front of me waits until after the clerk has totaled all her groceries before she takes out her checkbook, enough of a trigger to kick my internal curmudgeon into overdrive,

“Hey lady!” the voice in my head screeches. “You didn’t realize you were going to have to pay for this before hand? Couldn’t you have check ready when you got in line … besides you’ve never heard of debit cards?!!”

Since I won’t comment out loud (I’m too “polite”), I roll my eyes, exhale with exasperation (making sure she hears it), shift my feet restlessly, cross my arms, and set my attitude to low burn.

Or have you ever had your cell phone drop a call? [Read more…]

Effective Communication Skills: The Key to a Happier and Healthier Lifestyle

July 1, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Note: This article is from ezinearticles.com. Contact and bio information about the author are included.

By Christopher Sheppard

Effective communication skills can benefit any person at any stage in their life.

These types of soft skills are highly sought after in the workplace, and are integral in maintaining a happy and long-lasting home-life. Improving your ability to communicate can have a tremendously positive impact in many areas of your life. You can expect an increase in happiness, confidence, and successful social interaction.

It is important during the communication improvement process to break down communication barriers. It is often the case that people construct barriers and fears based on past communication shortcomings, and these hurdles are often difficult to overcome. A person may rush when speaking due to confidence issues, or rarely make eye contact when listening. They may steer clear of conversation with strangers or avoid conflict with a family member or colleague. An improvement in your communication skills can help you better express your opinion or feelings. These improvements can help you everywhere, from the boardroom to the bedroom.

When asked what effective communication skills mean to them, the average person often forgets about the role of listening. Being a strong and proactive listener is integral in communicating effectively. Effective communication skills are as much about listening as they are about speaking. Active listening is an important component of understanding the person or people you are communicating with, and allows you to better reach out to them. By effectively communicating feelings of grief, happiness, or remorse, the individual improves their ability to empathize and sympathize with those around them.

By increasing his or her ability to communicate, the individual greatly enhances their opportunities for personal growth.

[Read more…]

The Power of Intention

June 15, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s the intention that matters.

Being a news junkie, I’m glued to the cable networks. Wedged between the peccadilloes of badly behaving starlets and inappropriately tweeted photos, the anchor brings in two political panelists to discuss the upcoming election (Already? Really? Oy!) To feign “balance” he has a GOP strategist and his Democratic counterpart (as if there are only two sides to a story – but don’t get me started). I don’t remember the first question, and frankly, it doesn’t matter; but what I do recall was once the argument commenced, it became animated without delay. Lots of energy and of course, disagreement, exchanged between the duo.

It could have been either one; but in this case it was the GOP guy who started “powering” over anything stated contrary to his position. When the Dem countered, the Repub would shout him down, yelling ever louder. He didn’t call names; he wasn’t condescending; and – to be honest – he made logical sense (although I disagreed). But this is not about politics.

After the “discussion” ended, I had a mental image of him talking to his friends off-camera. They were probably all high-fiving, shouting, “Wow! You blew him out of the water,” or “He couldn’t hold a candle to you.” Congratulations would abound; backslapping would ensue.

That’s when it dawned on me; his intention – as far as I could discern – was NEVER to have a discussion, but rather to prove his point; and that’s what showed.

The number one law of change: Intentions direct actions.

[Read more…]

The Importance of Live Conversations

June 9, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Note: This piece was written by Mike Robbins; one of the best speakers (and nicest guys) you’ll ever meet. I’m honored to be able to use it. If you would like to know more about him, you can find his information at the end of this post. Enjoy.

Have you ever had a conversation, disagreement, or conflict escalate over email?

Do you sometimes find yourself engaging in difficult or emotional conversations electronically because it seems “easier,” only to regret it later on? If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, you can probably answer “yes” to both of these questions. [Read more…]

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