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You are here: Home / Archives for Conflict Management

What Do We Do After The Election?

October 31, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

As I click-clack away on my keyboard, we are less than one week out from the most divisive, disruptive, discordant, conflict-ridden — and expensive — midterm election in our history.

In the supposed interest of improving the lives of millions of our fellow citizens (not to mention our own), certain candidates and their supporters have espoused hatred, name-calling, and “dog-whistles;” rationalizing such actions (I suppose) with the logic: “The ends justify the means.” Woefully, some campaigns, once platforms for intelligent, wise, uplifting deliberation of principles and goals, have been jam-packed with half-truths, falsehoods — lies — with no regard for the damage to remain in the wake of the vote.

If you have read this far, I know you share my sentiment that Election Day cannot come too soon; our sanity depends on an end to this madness.

Yet, the bleak reality is that — although, yes, elections do indeed have consequences and next week’s will bring with it its own — very little will change in our national sentiment come Wednesday. Do not misunderstand; I am in no way cynically advocating to stay home and skip your responsibility. Do not misconstrue my statement to be, “It won’t make a difference.” It will. Whether you agree or disagree with the direction of our country’s trajectory, you have power: the ballot. Be not dismissive of this awesome privilege. One vote – your vote – does make a difference. Additionally, this is not another in the on-going cavalcade of public service announcements and celebrity lectures preaching at the masses to “get out and vote.” You know that. Go do it. You owe it to this country you call home.

What I am attempting to point out is that the disarray that got us to this heartbreaking state of affairs will persist after the votes are counted. Those who fail to understand history are forever condemned to repeat it. Should we therefore not address the conditions which birthed this fetid swamp, we’ll be standing in it again in 2020, 2022, 2024… I don’t think I could take this another time; I wager you feel the same. We must then — together — strive to end this national psychosis which smothers our nation.

Hence it is crucial that we take a different road.

To that end, I offer some ideas, no matter on which side of the political spectrum you find yourself. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Current Events, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles Tagged With: communication, conflict, political discourse, politicians, politics

Mea Culpa: I Was Unkind (or Was I)?

April 11, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Where do you want me? Under the macramé plant hanger? Really? Didn’t avocado green shag go out in the seventies? All right, all right, I get it! Now is the not the time to be snarky. Just tell me where to go.”

I’ve been called on the carpet.

Recently, I published political opinion on social media. Although posting often, I tend to swerve away from politics for what will shortly become apparent.

Summed up, I catalogued a list of adjectives I felt portrayed one of our politicians.

I’ll own up to the fact that it was less than complementary. However, in my defense, I chose only clearly defined descriptors, veering away from words which criticized physical traits, instead targeting behaviors – which can be transformed. So, as example, I didn’t use the expression “stupid”; a derogatory, extremely judgmental, non-defensible term for someone lacking intelligence. Rather, opting for “ignorant,” meaning uneducated; a state of being that can be remedied if so chosen. Selecting watchfully, I picked words based on measurable, modifiable behaviors. As a mentor of mine said, “Judge the verb, not the noun.”

Most of the responses — as expected — echoed my sentiment; after all, they’re my “friends.” A few folks disagreed. For the most part, they were respectful (kinda…) I countered, in the interest of opening dialog (well, truth be told, also to defend my position).

I expected dissent. What I didn’t foresee was a very simple observation from a long-term reader of this column who stated, “aren’t you the guy who believes in kindness first?”

Ouch. Don’t you hate having principles?

As much as I disliked having to admit it, he might be correct.

How could I defend my post while still remaining true to my belief? At first blush, the two appeared at loggerheads.

It’s easy to be a person of integrity when everyone shares your values; the test comes when challenged logically and respectfully. His post triggered no small amount of consternation, causing me to question, “Is it unkind to point out someone’s flaws?” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Conflict Management, Group Support, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: anger, better relationships, change, fear, political discourse, politics, relationships, sadness

The Kindness Movement

December 27, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

An epidemic is spreading.

It’s not the flu; although this malady is equally unpleasant, lacks an effective vaccine, can be contagious, and indeed triggers the urge to vomit. It’s entitled “meanness.”

Some argue the cause is social media.

No less than President Barack Obama stated that social media is destroying our discourse. As much as I respect the former president, I disagree. What’s demolishing it is that social media provides a platform for the coarse, boorish, cowardly ilk to hide behind a veil of partial anonymity, giving them what they perceive as permission to air without repercussion anything they desire to anyone they want. What one would never say face-to-face is — to them — considered acceptable in the cyber landscape. Sure, humans have harmed one another since Cain and Abel, but Cain couldn’t hide behind a cloak of technology and do so with impunity.

Don’t get me wrong; this is not another lamentation about the evils of social media and technology, and how they’re ripping to shreds the genteel fabric of society.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Current Events, Happiness, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Relationships, resolutions Tagged With: act of kindness, better relationships, compassion, happiness, inspiration, random act of kindness, relationships

Choosing Peace

August 9, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Yes, I was young, and not totally aware of the implications at hand; still I recall my parents’ fear and anxiety as they sat transfixed, watching President Kennedy on our grainy black and white television. Images of empty grocery shelves come to my mind; whether I actually saw them first hand, or am remembering from documentaries I’ve seen over the years, I admit I can’t be sure. That of which I am positive is remembering the collective sense of relief as the emergency subsided.

As then-secretary of state, Dean Rusk said, “We’re eyeball to eyeball and I think the other fellow just blinked.”

In most locations, this column shows up on or near the weekend. However, I obviously write it earlier in the week. At the time I’m writing this, the current news cycle has many saying we are as close to the precipice of nuclear war as we have been at any time since those terrifying days in October 1962. We are hoping someone blinks as I don’t think any of us have the desire (nor the need), to be poised at the cliff’s edge once again 55 years later.

Nonetheless, here we stand.

I have a dilemma. My beliefs say that the more we focus on something, the more likely we are to make it real. I’ve seen it happen repeatedly in my own life. Does that infer that my fear of a military exchange is made more probable by my thoughts? Am I contributing to the problem? Obviously, it’s not a choice for which I wish, but with the level of trepidation as high as it is, it’s impossible to banish the notion completely.

To that end, maybe it would be of value to picture a softer outcome.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Conflict Management, Current Events Tagged With: affirmations, conflict, current events, News, politics

Best Advice to Deal with Stress

April 17, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I received some great advice from a long-term friend on what to do when you can’t handle the stress.

 

remember to breath

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Self Talk Tagged With: deal with stress, deep breath, how to handle stress, Motivational Monday Memo, stress management, stress reducer

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