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You are here: Home / Archives for Change

How’s Your Attitude?

August 26, 2020 By Scott "Q" Marcus

The social media meme displays the number “13” who is saying to all the other numbers, “I’m the worst number ever!”

Six-six-six replied, “I’ve got you beat.” Twenty-twenty chimes in, “Contest over.”

One cannot live in times like these without paying the toll.

We internalize our environment, affecting how we feel and even infecting our beliefs; the result is that we view our lives differently than if circumstances were otherwise. As evidence, utilizing an example from the late Zig Zigler, picture your typical morning. Imagine your attitude. Rate it on a one-to-ten scale; most of us land somewhere between six and eight most times. Now, imagine that same “typical” morning, with one aberration: you awake to voice mail from a loved one, “It’s been too long. I’m thinking about you. I can’t wait until we get together. I love you and hope your day is filled with joy.”

It is without a doubt that in scenario two, we’d face the day energized, enthusiastic, and determined. Problems that would have normally knocked us off-trail become insufficient bumps in the asphalt.

Nothing changed — except our attitude. Because it improved, we took on more; facing more upbeat the day ahead, and closing our eyes at night more fulfilled.

Attitude — the complex interaction between feelings and beliefs that affect how we view the world, and therefore how we react to it — matters.

Yet, a question remains: “Is our attitude determined by us or by outside circumstances?”

The honest answer is it’s some of both, but with enough understanding of what determines this mindset, we can wrestle back the reins and become masters of attitude, therefore leading happier, more fulfilling lives — even amid the madness churning around us like a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico.

Attitude has nothing to do with logic; it’s more primal; it’s “right-brain” driven.

Therefore, telling yourself (or anyone else) to “get over it” is like trying to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

To up-level attitude, we must dig deep into what we believe as well as how we process emotions.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Change, Happiness, Hope, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, attitude change, bad attitude, emotions, happiness, lifestyle change, negative feelings, positive attitude, positive mental attitude, stress, stuck thoughts, thankfulness, thoughts and feelings

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

January 31, 2018 By Scott "Q" Marcus

As I remember the broad strokes, college students – the guinea pigs of most psychology experiments – were divided into two sections.

Both groups were given monologues that they were to earnestly perform for an audience. One group was well compensated for their involvement; the other was not.

The content of the scripts was what sensible, civilized, average people would find distasteful, even abhorrent. As illustration, the Jewish people should have been exterminated in World War II, or slavery was actually positive for African Americans and should be reinstated.

Using a psychological evaluation prior to their performances, each actor was rated on a one-to-five scale as to how much their beliefs were in alignment what they were about to perform. Upon completion, they were again assessed as to their level of agreement. The purpose of these measurements was to understand if the students’ beliefs moved in the direction of what was espoused in their scripts after they performed them.

The results were striking.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Habits, Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk Tagged With: bad habits, changing habits, dissonance theory, habit change, happiness, health, lifestyle change, quality of life

Twenty Two Years – One Step at a Time

September 21, 2016 By Scott "Q" Marcus

In September 1993, the thing for men was silk long-sleeve shirts hiked to the elbow, and bold, brightly colored ties.

Radio stations played The River of Dreams by Billy Joel, Runaway Train by Soul Asylum, and Reason to Believe by Rod Stewart. True Romance, A Bronx Tale and The Joy Luck Club flickered on movie screens. Television’s offerings included Murphy Brown, Roseanne, and Seinfeld. The Internet – as we know it now – didn’t exist. Email was in its infancy (but I’m sure there was spam). Our president was Bill Clinton with Tom Foley as the Speaker of the House. Finally, news stories included PLO leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin shaking hands; and the continued legal fallout from the Branch Davidian standoff in Waco.

fat me

The biggest news story in my world was my 39th birthday on September 28 and that my life was careening out of control.

I suffered from severe back and chest pains; my finances were a mess; my marriage was hanging by a thread — and I topped the scales at 250 pounds. Taking self-inventory, I came to the shocking realization that what was in common among all these difficulties was me; I had become my own enemy.

From past experience, I knew that my canary in the coalmine was my eating.

When I got that under control, everything else fell in place. But if you added up all the weight I had lost (and then regained) over the course of my not-quite-forty-years, I’m sure it would have been in the thousands. I had even helped others lose weight. Yet, I always regained it, reverted to old habits over time.

Defeated, overwhelmed, and hopeless – but seeing no alternatives — I opted to try “one last time,” promising myself that by September 28, 1994, I’d be “fit, fun, and fiscally sound.”

It was that despair that led me to action. I went to a meeting; I reached out.

A small step, yes, but still it was movement. When I entered the room, I wanted to fall through a hole in the floor. It took every ounce of will I could muster to prevent from turning and running to the nearest bakery.

Yet I stayed; one more small step.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Change, goals, Group Support, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Personal Tagged With: change, diet, empowerment, habit change, happiness, lifestyle change, losing weight, success, weight loss

Ten Ways You Know You’re Prosperous

May 4, 2016 By Scott "Q" Marcus

need to give money on corner

I don’t know whether it’s an age thing or not but I am now finding myself at a stage in life where I’m actually, honest-to-goodness, really, truly working on my prosperity.

No longer am I just “talking the talk;” I’m “walking the walk.” I signed up for a class about prosperity consciousness. I even joined an investment club where we take real dollars, do actual research, and make genuine investments. We’re like grown ups!

Don’t misunderstand; I have no interest in gaudy bling, driving a Lamborghini Veneno, using $100 bills to ignite “King of Denmark” cigars, and vacationing at the Mantangi Private Island Resort in Fiji. It’s not like that at all.

Actually, according to Eric Butterworth, author of the popular book, Spiritual Economics, “prosperity” is derived from the Latin root, which translates: “according to hope” or “to go forward hopefully.” Therefore, instead of assuming the dark cloud will push its way out from behind the silver lining, I’m changing my expectations from those of lack to beliefs that everything is going to turn out the way I need it when I do.

This is not like switching on a light.

One doesn’t go from Winnie the Pooh’s Eeyore to Inside Out’s Joy overnight. Years of trudging down a worried road have left well-defined ruts in my consciousness. I must actively work it; especially when things don’t seem to be heading in what I would describe as a “hopeful” direction. You know, the roof leaks. (Ka-ching!) You need to take out a second mortgage just to buy groceries. (Ka-ching!) One of your largest, more regular clients decides to go in “another direction.” (Ka-ching!) Each time I get hit, it can throw me back on my heels. After all, it’s hard to feel “prosperous” when you’re robbing Peter to pay Paul.

So, I’m learning to expand my definition of what actually is prosperity.

For example, you have more money than a Sheik, but if your health is preventing you from enjoying life, your personality is a toxic waste dump, and you come home to an empty — albeit well furnished — home at days end, I think we’d all put down money saying you’re not prosperous. Like so much in life, it’s not about what you have, but about your attitude about what you have.

Therefore, in the interest of lightening attitudes, and reminding us that prosperity comes in many forms — including humor — I put forth Ten Ways You Didn’t Even Know You Were Already Prosperous.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Gratitude, Happiness, humor, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Self Talk, Success Tagged With: economy, gratfullness, gratitude, money, personal success, prosperity

No Longer in my Twenties

November 5, 2015 By Scott "Q" Marcus

Recently, I had a revelation: I am no longer in my twenties.

grumpy-old-man-with-cane

There were obvious signs prior to this new dawning.

For example, of late, in order to read small print, I must either remove my glasses or post the document across the room. Conversely, I must also use the “zoom” feature on my computer monitor to increase font size for virtually everything on screen.

I also must admit a tinge of guilt in continuing to list “brown” as my hair color on driver’s license applications. Rather, “gray with a small bit of brown remaining” is more appropriate. (Since there is not enough space to use this accurate description, I rationalize “brown” as being as honest as possible.)

Oh yes, one other indicator that I am no longer in my twenties is that I am the biological father of a 31-year-old. Even the most forward thinking and mature twenty-something would be hard pressed to have 31-year-old offspring.

Alas, despite this ever-growing chorus of facts, the dawning of my age did not fully appear until I weighed myself last week.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Change, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, aging process, certain age, middle age, succesful weight loss

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