This Time I Mean It

Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

  • Home
  • Change Habits
    • 21 Day Habit Change.com
  • Blog
    • Newspaper Column
    • Motivational Monday
  • Work With Scott
    • Meet Scott
    • Scott’s Powerful Fun Style
    • For Meeting Planners
    • Speaking Topics
    • What Conference Attendees Say
    • Book Scott to Speak
  • Shop
  • Meet Scott
  • Testimonials
  • Contact Us
    • Sign up for the FREE ezine
You are here: Home / Archives for Success

Gratitude or Willpower? What’s More Effective?

January 24, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I know I say this a lot. As a matter of fact, I know you do too. So, say it with me, “I can’t believe January is over already.”

With one month down, so too are the majority of New Year’s Resolutions. Sadly, by the end of the first week of the first month, 30 percent of resolutions have gone the way of all flesh. Come year’s end, only eight percent remain; it’s therefore accurate to deduce that over 90 percent of us give up on our commitments by the time the ball drops on the next year. How frustrating.

There are a few reasons.

Most of us set vague goals.

For example, we say, “This year, I’m going to take better care of myself,” or “I’m going to lose weight,” or “stress less.” Intention positive? Yep. But without a specific action plan, it’s a nebulous, free-floating, hazy decree, dissipating as quickly as the fog which hugs the coast on a summer morning.

Another cause for failure is relying too much on the wrong definition of willpower, too often seen as our ability to white-knuckle bully our way through temptation.

Willpower is NOT the ability to take a long-term stand, plant our feet, cross our arms, and defiantly proclaim, “I won’t give in!” Rather, if we reframe the definition to, “I won’t give in THIS ONE TIME,” we alleviate much of the self-imposed pressure, upping the odds we’ll actually accomplish what we say we want.

Willingness to forgo short-term pleasure for a long-term benefit is rarely easy, and when stressed, tired, angry, or sad; it essentially puts us at odds with our own internal drive, paradoxically increasing the stressor and further eroding the potential for success. This causes self-flagellation and – in the end – we throw in the towel “until next year,” repeating yet again the hopeless cycle.

Backing this up are studies conducted by David DeSteno, professor of psychology at Northeastern University, and author of Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride. As he points out,

“Choosing to rely on rational analysis and willpower to stick to our goals, [is] disadvantaging ourselves … If using willpower to keep your nose to the grindstone feels like a struggle, that’s because it is. Your mind is fighting against itself. It’s trying to convince, cajole and, if that fails, suppress a desire for immediate pleasure.”

Professor DeSteno proposes that gratitude and compassion are more likely to yield valuable results because those emotions naturally lead us to be patient, which logically, increases the odds that we’ll stick with a task.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, goals, Gratitude, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Temptation, Relationships, Success, willpower Tagged With: attitude, better relationships, changing habits, gratitude, habit change, inspiration, lifestyle change, new year's resolutions, relationships, resolutions that stick, thankfulness, why resolutions fail

Get Your Hopes Up

May 17, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In my former career, there was an adage, “You can tell how successful a DJ is by the size of the trailer behind his car.”

Since the logistics of moving oneself to a new city is considerably easier than moving a city to where one broadcasts, disc jockeys were nomadic. My personal story brought me to where I now live after bouncing around the west, “playing the hits” at radio stations ranging from Provo, Utah to Palmdale, California.

In order to secure new work, one would send out five-inch reel-to-reel tapes (um, remember, this was the seventies) to radio stations posting in trade magazines who were seeking “air talent,” which is what we were euphemistically called. Tapes consisted of an hour of one’s show with the music omitted so the prospective program director could hear skill level and style.

For most, the usual career progression was to start out as weekend fill-in jock on a small market station and little by little climb the rungs, hopefully ending up at a major market in a prime-time slot (referred to as a “drive time”).

After working as afternoon drive in Redding for a few years, my roaming inclination was engaged and I was sending tapes to stations across the country; willing to hitch up my trailer at a moment’s notice and go wherever anyone was willing to have me.

Portland called!

I was being considered for a weekend slot at a 50,000-watt AM clear channel rock station with an extended reach. The possibility was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Said my therapist, “How are you feeling about your prospects?”

“I’m nervous. I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

“Why would you not want to get your hopes up?”

“Because if do — and then I don’t get the gig —  I’ll be disappointed.”

He paused, nodded thoughtfully, and then asked, “So, how will you feel if you don’t get this job?”

“Disappointed,” I replied, “I think it would be really great to be on a big station like that.”

“But I thought you weren’t getting your hopes up,” said he.

“I’m not.”

“But you’re still going to be disappointed?”

That loud knocking you hear is paradox banging on the door.

“Well, yes, I guess I am. I’m afraid that it won’t go the way I want.”

“A couple things,” he began,

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Happiness, Inspiration, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Success Tagged With: emotions, excitement, facing fear, fear of rejection, inspiration, overcoming fear

Why Why Why Why Why

May 11, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Questions on a whiteboard, isolated on white

Today’s column will have seemingly unassociated, far-flung diverse topics ranging from isosceles triangles to Poltergeist to Cold Pizza to management of a Japanese car company.

Stick with it though; it all comes together.

Now, let’s begin…

From the moment I entered Mr. Carrington’s Geometry class in tenth grade, I knew I was home. The concepts of rays, lines, and planes came naturally. Homework, oft times consisting of doing “proofs,” was to me, what drawing was to an artist.

“What is a ‘proof,’” you ask? Fair question. One is presented with a diagram and certain “givens” (truths) and then building on the “givens” and utilizing one’s knowledge of Geometry, has to step-by-step logically prove the conclusion is indeed accurate. For example, “If line BD is a perpendicular bisector of line AC, prove that triangle ABC is isosceles.” (Don’t worry; you’re not going to be tested on this at the end of the column.)

Hard cut to our topic for today: Poor choices are not isolated events; rather they are the result of a series of behavioral links leading down a path to said decision.

Let’s take late night eating as an example, a problem for many. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Productivity, Success, Weight Loss Tagged With: change, solving problems, weight loss, why

Ten Ways You Know You’re Prosperous

May 4, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

need to give money on corner

I don’t know whether it’s an age thing or not but I am now finding myself at a stage in life where I’m actually, honest-to-goodness, really, truly working on my prosperity.

No longer am I just “talking the talk;” I’m “walking the walk.” I signed up for a class about prosperity consciousness. I even joined an investment club where we take real dollars, do actual research, and make genuine investments. We’re like grown ups!

Don’t misunderstand; I have no interest in gaudy bling, driving a Lamborghini Veneno, using $100 bills to ignite “King of Denmark” cigars, and vacationing at the Mantangi Private Island Resort in Fiji. It’s not like that at all.

Actually, according to Eric Butterworth, author of the popular book, Spiritual Economics, “prosperity” is derived from the Latin root, which translates: “according to hope” or “to go forward hopefully.” Therefore, instead of assuming the dark cloud will push its way out from behind the silver lining, I’m changing my expectations from those of lack to beliefs that everything is going to turn out the way I need it when I do.

This is not like switching on a light.

One doesn’t go from Winnie the Pooh’s Eeyore to Inside Out’s Joy overnight. Years of trudging down a worried road have left well-defined ruts in my consciousness. I must actively work it; especially when things don’t seem to be heading in what I would describe as a “hopeful” direction. You know, the roof leaks. (Ka-ching!) You need to take out a second mortgage just to buy groceries. (Ka-ching!) One of your largest, more regular clients decides to go in “another direction.” (Ka-ching!) Each time I get hit, it can throw me back on my heels. After all, it’s hard to feel “prosperous” when you’re robbing Peter to pay Paul.

So, I’m learning to expand my definition of what actually is prosperity.

For example, you have more money than a Sheik, but if your health is preventing you from enjoying life, your personality is a toxic waste dump, and you come home to an empty — albeit well furnished — home at days end, I think we’d all put down money saying you’re not prosperous. Like so much in life, it’s not about what you have, but about your attitude about what you have.

Therefore, in the interest of lightening attitudes, and reminding us that prosperity comes in many forms — including humor — I put forth Ten Ways You Didn’t Even Know You Were Already Prosperous.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Gratitude, Happiness, humor, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Self Talk, Success Tagged With: economy, gratfullness, gratitude, money, personal success, prosperity

Twenty One Years at Goal Weight

September 27, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus

I entered the planet at nine pounds 14 ounces.

Assuming that to be normal, thirty years later, as a newly minted father, I panicked when the doctor informed me that my firstborn weighed six pounds six ounces.

Looking me in the eye, attempting to calm my jitters, he replied, “Six-six is normal. I promise he’s fine.”

“But I weighed ten pounds when I was born!” I protested.

“I can’t help it if you were cruel to your mother,” he replied.

Moral of the story: I was born big, and from that moment, packed on the pounds, tipping the scales at ten pounds for every year.

To explain, I weighed 50 pounds at age five, 90 pounds at age nine, and 130 pounds when I was a teen. From there, I accelerated, reaching 230 upon entering high school — poor timing to say the least. Of the 1107 students in my class, I was the second fattest. Further putting this in perspective, that was in the day when childhood obesity was an oddity, rather than unfortunately as it can be today, quite common.

Kids are brutal, so what were supposed to be some of my best years were anything but. Girls ignored me; guys badgered and bullied me.

Physical education was the lowest of the low.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Diet, goals, Health, Newspaper Column, Success Tagged With: achieving your goals, aging, aging process, attaining your goals, birthdays, doctors, sixties, succesful weight loss

Next Page »

Search the Site

Search Products

Blog Categories

Recent Posts

  • Bathroom Humor
  • Scared of my Shadow
  • You are not who you think you were
  • Who are you? Are you sure?
  • Exasperating – the verb

Book An Appointment With Scott

Get a free coaching call by following this link. No obligation.

Contact Us Today

Scott "Q" Marcus
707 834.4090
scottq@thistimeimeanit.com
======
Join Scott's mailing list at http://eepurl.com/LsSIX

Product Categories

  • Accessories
  • Books
  • Coaching Programs
  • DVDs and CDs
  • Instant Downloads
  • Kindle Books
  • Seminars
  • Shirts
  • Site Advertising
  • subscription
  • Uncategorized

Book An Appointment

Recent Posts

  • Bathroom Humor
  • Scared of my Shadow
  • You are not who you think you were
  • Who are you? Are you sure?
  • Exasperating – the verb

This Time I Mean It Copyright © 2025 · All rights reserved · Log in