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Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

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Questioning Your Way to Success

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Being a professional in the goal-setting field, I find it fascinating to witness some of the machinations we will go through to achieve our objectives.

There are countless apps designed to help one achieve goals, ranging from diet and exercise to being more organized, to simply uplifting one’s mood. For those less inclined to make change via an app, I’ve heard of some who journal, use to-do lists, or even pray and meditate on the desired outcomes. Of course, hiring a coach helps too. (Hint, hint…)

I am not judging any technique. If you’re dedicated to your goals and willing to do the work, however, you choose it, more power to you – especially in this ever-stressful world in which we find ourselves. That said, if you personally felt stuck and would like to make some changes; whether health-related, financial, or emotional, this four-question process is ridiculously easy to use and amazingly effective.

Question #1: Suppose I was successful; how would I know?

It seems silly to start here, but the reality is oft-times we fall short of our objectives because we’ve never defined the outcome clearly. We say “I want to feel better,” or “I want to get more fit.” Whereby those are lofty intentions, they’re not concrete enough to drive us to an endpoint. Sure, they might get us started, but we’ll often stall because we don’t know when we’ve arrived and the journey feels daunting and without end.

It’s more effective to state a goal such as “I will walk 30 minutes three times a week;” or “I will take time each day to write down five things for which I’m grateful.’

Being able to identify a clear change in behavior is essential to achieving goals.

Question #2: What has to happen for that objective to occur?

Obviously, if we were doing what we needed to do, we’d already be where we want to be. Since we’re not yet “there,” something must adjust. To that end, we have basically four options: start a new behavior; stop an existing behavior; do more of an already-existing behavior; or do less of an existing behavior.

Behavioral changes therefore might be, “put a 30-minute activity appointment in my calendar on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday;” or “reserve 10 minutes each morning to record those things for which I’m grateful.”

The trick here is not to line out an entire series of changes, but to define one simple, effective adjustment you can make to move forward.

Question #3: Can I do that?

[Read more…]

Getting Though It – What Will the Future Be?

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Last week, I forecast that within a week the 1,000 United States COVID cases and the 120,000 international cases would seem nostalgic.

Sadly, they are; everyone saw that coming. I’m not a soothsayer. Oh-so-seven days ago, states were floating the concept of limiting gatherings to 250-500 people. How quaint is that? Seniors were outside; the Bay Area was bustling; coffee shops, diners, and bars were open for business.

Oh, what a difference makes one week.

Currently the U.S. now has 7,668 cases with 117 deaths. The world count has risen to 212,799 with 8,787 people succumbing. It is recommended that those of us 65+ “self-isolate,” a term utterly unknown but a few weeks past. Recommendations are that we limit crowds to fewer than ten. Pubs, restaurants and eateries are shuttered. The markets are off approximately 35 percent from their highs, companies are failing, average people — like you and me — are without income. San Francisco is closed. Hospital ships are being sent to New York and the West Coast.

Four to five days from now, this might read like sentimental history.

I am case-closed certain that I am not the only person who feels like he or she has been transported into a sci-fi, environmental, economic, post-apocalyptic, end-of-times, action-adventure movie for which I did not audition; nor did I have any interest in being cast. Certainly, soon, the credits will roll, house lights will come up, and we can rise from our seats and leave the theater; a great idea if movie houses were even open for business.

If someone would have written this as a plot for a movie, it wouldn’t have been green-lit. No one would believe it.

Nonetheless, here we are. There’s no sugar coating it; things appear dire.

So, now that I’ve harshed your mellow, let’s look at where we go from here.

Recently, I heard an eloquent, simple analysis of how we react. It went approximately like this: Something happens; we create a story about its meaning; that story in turn creates our reality, and therefore what we believe is possible or not. In effect, “What we say to ourselves determines what we do to ourselves.”

Don’t misinterpret; this is scary stuff. Real lives are being affected. Some people will not survive, others will suffer long term economic and physical damage. Thinking positively and placing our hands on our chests, closing our eyes, and chanting “Om”, will not eradicate the virus nor heal the economy.

Yet, while we gingerly, one-step-in-front of the other, shakily traverse the swaying rope bridge from what was to what will be, it is essential we keep first and foremost the notion that we will emerge from this fiery, molten, hellscape. The terrain in which we will find ourselves will be shaped by how we think now, today, as we struggle to endure. We need to examine the thoughts and beliefs — in effect, the stories — we are telling ourselves; if we are going to find our way to a better place.

To that end, some thoughts to remember.

[Read more…]

Personal Confession

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Since I started writing these columns oh so long ago, I’ve had several objectives.

First, I wanted them to be of value to you; I didn’t want to vomit a bunch of words on a page assuming that merely because it’s in print, it’s worth your time. That’s delusional and ego-centric; I wish to be neither.

Next, I wanted them to inspire when needed and provide a laugh when possible.

Finally, and as important; they needed to be honest. In other words, I would be transparent, doing my best to be who I am really am so that the person you might meet on the street is the same guy you read in print. The way I look at, if shame was transformational, we’d all be soaring across the heavens. Take a look around, it doesn’t work.

Putting all that on the table, I was reticent about this piece because it’s something with which I’ve wrestled for too long, keeping it in a dark, backroom closet. Will you think less of me if I expose this to the sun? Will you wag your finger, shake your head judgmentally, tsk loudly, and say, “I’m so ashamed of you”? Odd, isn’t it, how that perceived — not necessarily actual — reactions weigh so heavily?

Finally, I decided, “Screw it. If that’s the way you’re going to be, there’s nothing I can do about it. Stick to my truth. After all, as the song says, ‘if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.’”

So, here goes.

I haven’t had anything with alcohol in it for a month.

There, I’ve said it. It’s in the world; no taking it back now. [Read more…]

Get Your Hopes Up

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In my former career, there was an adage, “You can tell how successful a DJ is by the size of the trailer behind his car.”

Since the logistics of moving oneself to a new city is considerably easier than moving a city to where one broadcasts, disc jockeys were nomadic. My personal story brought me to where I now live after bouncing around the west, “playing the hits” at radio stations ranging from Provo, Utah to Palmdale, California.

In order to secure new work, one would send out five-inch reel-to-reel tapes (um, remember, this was the seventies) to radio stations posting in trade magazines who were seeking “air talent,” which is what we were euphemistically called. Tapes consisted of an hour of one’s show with the music omitted so the prospective program director could hear skill level and style.

For most, the usual career progression was to start out as weekend fill-in jock on a small market station and little by little climb the rungs, hopefully ending up at a major market in a prime-time slot (referred to as a “drive time”).

After working as afternoon drive in Redding for a few years, my roaming inclination was engaged and I was sending tapes to stations across the country; willing to hitch up my trailer at a moment’s notice and go wherever anyone was willing to have me.

Portland called!

I was being considered for a weekend slot at a 50,000-watt AM clear channel rock station with an extended reach. The possibility was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Said my therapist, “How are you feeling about your prospects?”

“I’m nervous. I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

“Why would you not want to get your hopes up?”

“Because if do — and then I don’t get the gig —  I’ll be disappointed.”

He paused, nodded thoughtfully, and then asked, “So, how will you feel if you don’t get this job?”

“Disappointed,” I replied, “I think it would be really great to be on a big station like that.”

“But I thought you weren’t getting your hopes up,” said he.

“I’m not.”

“But you’re still going to be disappointed?”

That loud knocking you hear is paradox banging on the door.

“Well, yes, I guess I am. I’m afraid that it won’t go the way I want.”

“A couple things,” he began,

[Read more…]

You’re Only One Step From Getting Back on Track

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You’re always only one step from getting back on track.

As the expression goes, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

So, when we slip up, we – with great intention – say, “I can start again tomorrow.” Yet, how often does that pattern repeat, leaving us over and over and over again, “starting tomorrow.”

That’s why it’s important to remember that you’re always only one step away from getting back on track.

[Read more…]

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Scott "Q" Marcus 707 834.4090 scottq@thistimeimeanit.com

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