How to Improve Your Communication: Slow Down & Regroup

If you’re having trouble getting on the same page with someone else, it’s important to remember that the only person you control in the situation is yourself.

Even if the other person is “wrong,” (almost always a questionable assumption) telling him that usually will not be as effective as looking inside yourself and seeing what you can do differently. Then, slow yourself down, take a deep breath. And move forward with your new plan.

Obviously, what you’re doing now is not getting you what you want (unless it’s a disagreement). You might as well try something else.
[Read more…]

Tips for a Great Thanksgiving

November 21, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Note: This piece is from the newsletter by Mike Robbins; one of the best speakers (and nicest guys) you’ll ever meet. I’m honored to be able to use it. If you would like to know more about him, you can find his information at the end of this post. Enjoy.

With Thanksgiving upon us here in the United States, I’ve been thinking about my own love/hate relationship to this great holiday. It can be a wonderful celebration of gratitude, appreciation, and family connection. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving also tends to be about feeling obligated to spend time with the people we’re “supposed” to, eating too much food and feeling guilty about it, and pretending to be grateful when we’re actually annoyed and stressed out.

What if we could make this Thanksgiving less stressful, more fun, and actually be able to enjoy ourselves, appreciate our family and friends (even the ones who drive us nuts), and focus on what we’re thankful for in a genuine way?

Here are some important tips you can use to make this year’s Thanksgiving one you truly enjoy and remember (in a good way):

1) Be you – Instead of trying to be who you think you “should” be with your family, friends, in-laws, or guests – just relax and be yourself! So often we put undue pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, impress people (even those we know well), or do or say the things we think others want us to. When we let go of trying to please everyone and we’re able to be true to ourselves, we create a genuine sense of freedom and peace. This also means that we think about what would be fun for us and our immediate family to do for Thanksgiving and communicate this to everyone else (in-laws, extended family, etc.), even if it may upset or disappoint some of the people involved.

[Read more…]

Staying out of Office Gossip

October 12, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

The Dangers of Office Gossip

About six months ago, office gossip reared its ugly head at my company. Two of my coworkers – I’ll call them Bob and Sue – had always driven separately but happened to arrive at work together one day. Unfortunately, as they walked into the building, they were spotted by a notorious chatterbox who quickly assumed the two were dating. What was simply an effort to go green and carpool became something of a soap opera, one that took a long time to quell.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised how quickly news of the new “relationship” spread. My office uses Skype to communicate throughout the day and messages full of speculation and gritty details about my coworkers’ personal lives started flying back and forth. Getting caught up in the gossip net was, sadly, a little too easy. Regrettably, what started as a few simple jokes eventually caught the attention of our human resource management team.

A couple weeks into my coworkers’ new driving arrangement, the aforementioned chatterbox was enthralling a group of people with horror stories about Bob’s ex-girlfriend. Because the woman in question had recently left the company, it wasn’t too much of a leap to assume that Bob was now dating Sue. Unfortunately, as the gossip commented that she hoped Sue would be better for Bob, Sue walked into the break room. The screaming match that broke out could be heard down the hall.

What one person had seen as harmless fun ended up being a serious problem for our company. Everyone had to take a day away from work to attend a human resources seminar about interoffice dating. Bob and Sue continued to ride to work together, but had to meet with the human resource management team to confirm they were not dating. The chatterbox faced disciplinary action for spreading false information using a work computer and ended up resigning.

Perhaps that strife could have been avoided had we all been mindful of a few tips:

[Read more…]

Using Emotions & Feelings for Effective, Long-Lasting Change

August 3, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

**I am currently reading The Wealthy Speaker by Jane Atkinson.**

Between its covers, Ms. Atkinson, devotes few pages to discussing cash flow or spreadsheets, while much ink is dedicated to changing one’s thoughts about money. It is her premise that our income basically determined more by how we think than by the actions we take. Of course, those considerations then produce behaviors, which lead to results. Therefore, if we “dig down” and adjust them, we will do what we do in an altered manner. This provides fresh results improving our business.

In effect, change your thoughts; change your financial life.

The barricade is our ol’ buddy, Denial.

As she mentions, thought patterns, much like a river cutting a path through granite, our etched into our psyche over time, with much repetition. To refashion such embedded patterns takes a great deal of effort — and it’s not like we’re not busy already, right? Besides, “there’s always tomorrow.”

The author suggests that such transformation only occurs once “we’re hit by a two-by-four.” Of course, she’s speaking figuratively, not literally. (I hate it when people say “literally” when they mean “figuratively.” Sorry, pet peeve…)

Let me expand: Suppose you’re in a floundering relationship. You didn’t get there overnight; it began subtly, “the small things.” For example, you don’t talk as much. “It’s no big deal,” you think, “We’re just busy right now.” That might be accurate; having said that, “something” still feels off. But, you put it to back burner until you have more evidence — or time.

After awhile, your “couple’s time” becomes more sparse. You are roommates more than partners, on parallel tracks with no intersections. Logically, you can explain it away. “We’ve both got so much on our plates; things will get back to normal soon.” No action taken.

Soon, intimacy, in all its forms, has become a memory. There is now real distance, even a bit of resentment. Nobody brings anything up; you’re not even sure you want to broach the subject. Also, the chasm is now an additional barrier. Oh sure, you’re thinking about “making some changes” when things settle down. For now, it’s “stay the course.”

Then comes the two-by-four: He wants “out.”

[Read more…]

« Previous Page

How to Improve Your Communication: Slow Down & Regroup

If you ever find yourself saying, “I told you 1,000 times…” that means YOU ARE not communicating.

It does NOT mean they are not listening.

Slow down, regroup, and try it differently.

Control Issues Anyone?

You cannot control anybody but yourself.

If you try, you’ll drive both of you crazy.

Tips for a Great Thanksgiving

Staying out of Office Gossip

The Dangers of Office Gossip

Perhaps that strife could have been avoided had we all been mindful of a few tips:

Using Emotions & Feelings for Effective, Long-Lasting Change

**I am currently reading The Wealthy Speaker by Jane Atkinson.**

In effect, change your thoughts; change your financial life.

Contact Us Today

Product Categories

Book An Appointment

Recent Posts