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Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

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The Only Path Forward

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My son, half my age at 32, asked me if I can remember a time when things were “this bad.”

“No,” sadly I replied. “We seem to be at a new low.”

Later that week, speaking with an octogenarian friend, I posed to her the same question. Her reply was the same as mine. “No, we seem to be at a new low.” Should I ask someone celebrating 100 years on the planet, I fear the response would not change.

We might disagree as to the definition of “bad” — or even “things” — but I am convinced we’re all in agreement: Colloquially stated, “What a freakin’ mess!”

At the risk of harshing your mellow, let’s examine a couple specifics:

  • After observed the most divisive Supreme Court nomination process in history, one might argue we are also witness to the fabric of our nation being ripped asunder. Not only have we have drawn lines in the sand, we have fortified them with cement, and constructed walls to prevent passage from anyone of differing views. More than one political observer has postulated that our country’s temperament is akin to the mid 1800s (sic), prior to — and triggering — the Civil War. There are many who offer that “this great democratic experiment” is sunsetting; our future looking like George Orwell’s classic novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Hang on, that’s not the worst news.

  • The UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, in what many consider a moderate perspective, implores “urgent and unprecedented changes” are needed NOW to prevent global warming from climbing over 1.5º Celsius (2.7º Fahrenheit) by 2030. Should we continue on the path on which we now find ourselves, expect an uptick of approximately 3º C (4.5º F) resulting in major cities flooded; island nations wiped off the face of the planet; extreme droughts and heat waves; insect infestations; and wars over water and food — um, just to name a few. Yes, the planet will carry on – but it will become close to inhospitable.

I could – as I’m sure could you – site countless more illustrations, yet once one has enumerated the end of humanity as a potential outcome, everything else seems, well, somewhat inconsequential.

Yes, things are indeed bad.

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The Careful Use of Words

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Limericks are humorous, frequently risqué verses of three long and two short lines that rhyme in an “aabba” pattern.

They were popularized by Edward Lear, in the late 19th century. (Fun fact: It is said that the term, “limerick” is from the chorus sung between improvised verses from the song, “Will you come up to Limerick?”) When done well, limericks use puns, spoonerisms, and double-entendres. The earliest known American limerick (1902) is:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

Putting words together in playful patterns is fun. Remember the long-standing children’s poem:

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy, was he?

Another example of linguistic mischievousness was a novelty song from World War II:

Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey.
A kiddley divey too, wooden shoe.

It’s more fun to say than any sense it appears to make. However, the bridge of the song explains:

If the words sound queer and funny to your ear,
a little bit jumbled and jivey,
Sing ‘Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.’

Okay, it’s antiquated and trite – but c’mon, it’s amusing; admit it.

How we arrange words gives us a sense of joy and satisfaction.

Say “Aluminum Anemone” out loud. Go ahead. No one’s listening. Notice how it feels on your lips? No, it doesn’t make sense; it’s just pleasurable to pronounce.

More importantly than poems or limericks, words are the bedrock for our thoughts.

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Creating a Movement of Compassion

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I was an unusual kid.

For those who know me today, that’s probably a no-brainer. Not only was I a fat teen with poor social skills, but I was a nerd before it was “in” to be one. My favorite subjects were math and science, and although I didn’t possess a pocket protector, scotch tape held the bridge of my glasses together. Nice image, huh?

I also developed a very early interest in the news. As a teen in the late sixties, while others hung with friends, listened to music, or chatted on the phone; I settled on to the couch to watch Bill Bonds, anchor of KABC TV’s Eyewitness News at Eleven, staying up late to watch Dick Cavett.

Yeah, really; that was me. Par-tay!

Although I’ve lost weight, no longer have tape on my glasses, and would like to think I’ve established a social skill or two; I still possess a deep interest in the goings on of our world; some refer to me as a “news junkie.”

I rise and go to sleep to the news. During the day, I listen to podcasts and get alerts on my iPhone (which also flash on my smart watch). Ask me about virtually any headline and I can probably speak to it. Obsessed? Maybe. However, the term “involved” is my preference.

So, you’ll understand when I say I relate to the social media meme of late that proclaims, “My desire to be well-informed is in direct contrast to my desire to stay sane.”

I want — no “need” is the word —  to believe that everything will turn out for the best.

Yet, the progression of getting from here to there seems to be a bit tortuous to say the least. As I write this, North Korea is lobbing missiles into the Sea of Japan; Syria is poisoning its people; millions of Americans’ health care hangs in the balance; the Senate Republicans are threatening to invoke the “nuclear option,” and all of this is on top of an all-consuming investigation into whether or not the administration was manipulated by Russia. Based on how much news took place in 1968, that year has been called a “rip in time”. Compared to that, so far 2017 has torn time’s fabric to shreds.

I won’t lie. The whole damn thing is wearing on me.

No matter where you fall on the issues, I’m sure you feel it too. However, despite the meme referenced previously, the stakes are too high to tune out and shut down. We must be more, not less, involved.

The question then is, “What can I do?” After all, I’m a speck of dust in a galaxy.

Yes, we can speak out and raise our voices, making our will known; and we need to do that. But in the immediate, there is a fundamental, uncomplicated, effortless adjustment any of us can do that will instantaneously affect our local communities: Be more compassionate and kind. Simple. Easy. Taught to each of us since we were born. I cannot imagine how treating others with more respect can aggravate the tension. This is especially true when it’s someone with whom I disagree.

Some might say I’m being naïve or foolish, expecting that others will react in kind.

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Where do WE go Now That the 2016 Elections Are Over?

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I rarely wade into the political arena for a variety of reasons:

  • That’s not what my Monday Memo is about
  • It brings the trolls out in droves
  • I’m “conflict resistant” and don’t like arguing
  • As important as political discourse is, lately it seem like it’s just plain “icky”

Having said that, elections have consequences and here we sit, almost one week out, with a new president-elect.

Half of the country is optimistic, the other half is despondent. One half feels that we have found our way back, while their counterparts fear for the future. No matter how you cut it, the country is laid raw, exposed, split half and half. (I will not state who I voted for so don’t ask – and that’s not what today’s comments are about anyway.)

The question is, “What do WE do NOW?”

Some on the victorious side of the election shout, “We won! Get over it!” while many on the opposite side are protesting with chants such as “Not my president.” Although it might not seem like it at first glance, but these are the opening of lines of communication. Granted, it’s not a warm and fuzzy channel, but both sides are speaking – and while not necessarily trying to speak with each other, they’re being heard.

The way I see it, there are some realities that need to be addressed:

  • Barring some sort of seismic political earthquake, love it or hate it, Mr. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States come January 20, 2017
  • No matter what happens, there will continue to be detractors and supporters of his presidency
  • Neither side will “vanish” nor be silenced
  • Both sides will continue to work for their agendas
  • Neither side will simply “give up”

Accepting those, as we begin this new era, the first question we must all ask of ourselves is “What is MY intention for the future as we move forward?”

Without intention, we are rudderless, adrift.

For example, if the intention is “Let’s block everything that President Trump does,” the resultant communication – and its actions – will lead us down one path. If our intention is, “Show the ‘losers’ whose in charge now,” that will also have repercussions. However, if the intention is, “Let’s find a way to agree on what we can while politically fighting that where we don’t,” other options will make themselves known.

It’s certainly not a guarantee of success; but lack of intention is surely a guarantee for more conflict for decades to come.

We’re all (hopefully) going to be here for quite some time. Neither side will eradicate the other. Aiming to push, shove, or bully those with whom we might disagree will only prolong this chasm we see between us. Worse yet, there are real-life implications: millions and millions or our fellow human beings (both within and outside of the U.S.) will be hurt, further expanding the divide, making it yet harder to heal (which I assume is a goal of most).

I believe in “compassion first.”

Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean “give in,” but it does mean that first and foremost, I will treat each and every person neither as my superior nor inferior. I will strive  in all my communication with those with whom I disagree, to lay a bedrock of respect, seeking first to understand the motives without judgment. I’m not fooling myself (I hope) I know it won’t always be easy, but – to me – it’s the only path forward.

I hope you’ll join me.

You Know What I Mean?

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In L.A.’s school district, when I was a kid, Health was a required class taken in junior high — eighth grade to be specific.

classroom

We were taught the basics of course, on how our bodies were changing and even the appropriate methods to shower and dress. And yes, there was that awkward period where our knowledge of the “bird and bees” was clarified — in great detail I might add. As almost-adults, we already pretty much knew the nuts and bolts but my memories are that it was an extremely uncomfortable week, especially since boys and girls were not separated. We were beyond the phase of snickering (at least in class) but everyone sat board straight upright, careful not to make eye contact with anyone else in the room.

I don’t know if it was a required part of the course but one thing I most remember was Mr. Hubbard took us beyond the basics and engaged us in discussions about politics, the economy, and relationships. One could rightly argue that he was as concerned with our societal health as he was with our physical health. Good for him.

A particular concept for me that has withstood these many decades is the notion of “you knows.”

Briefly summed up, we gravitate to people with whom we share more “you knows,” drifting from those with whom we don’t. Call it, “birds of a feather” if you will.

As an age example, if you’re a baby boomer, I can say,

“I never understood how they could switch Darrins on Bewitched and not explain it, you know?” You — understanding that arcane reference — can nod and say, “Yeah, I never got it either.” Someone of a younger age (or who didn’t watch Sixty’s sitcoms) would gape blankly muttering, “Huh?”

There are all manner of “you knows” ranging from locational (“Nothing puts me in perspective more than standing at the base of a redwood tree, you know?”) to spiritual (“Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I connect with my higher power and feel better, you know?”) and all and everything in between.

“You knows” bring us closer together; it’s shorthand for sharing the human experiences.

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Scott "Q" Marcus 707 442 6243 scottq@scottqmarcus.com

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