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You are here: Home / Archives for mental health

Who are you? Are you sure?

July 30, 2022 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Today’s column is a bit heady and requires a little bit of writing.

Don’t fret; it’s nothing complicated. Ready? Of course, you are. Without giving it a lot of thought, write down the first words that come to mind that describe you.

Most people start relatively superficially. For example, I began with “Scott Marcus.” That’s not actually a description of me; it’s my label. So, with more thought, I added “man,” “father,” and “husband.” That dug deeper but is still scratching the surface. After all, there are billions of “fathers” and “husbands” so those words still fall short in describing who I am. To be more specific, I can add a resident of California, 67 years old, self-employed, coach, speaker, and writer. If you’re doing this activity with me, you’re getting a fuller image of who you are, but in reality, these still are more what you do, rather than what makes you you.

To get down to your core, it’s necessary to identify your values, emotions, and beliefs; they are what make you you. Using myself as an illustration, those might be traits such as honest, compassionate, liberal, worried, self-conscious, spiritual, intelligent, funny, angry, and loyal. Whereby I’m not all of those at once, any one can rise to the forefront, depending on the situation in which I find myself.

Adjectives create images; hurried one-word stories replete with judgments. For example, “annoyed,” (a state of mind in which I often find myself of late), invokes imaginings of impatience, crankiness, and pedantic. However, “compassionate” inspires warmth, caring, and helpful. I’d rather be associated with the latter than the former – but, in reality, they’re both me at various times.

Why does all this matter?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Habits, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: change, feelings, happiness, negative self talk, positive self image, quality of life, self assessment

If I Could: A Prayer for Healing

July 29, 2020 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If I could, I’d wash away the sadness.

I would wrap you in my arms and hold you against me, pressed against my chest. I would protect you from everything that makes you unhappy and reduces your spirit. Gently, I’d wipe away the tears and hold gently your head between my hands, looking you deep in the eyes, reminding you without words that I am with you no matter what comes. We’d embrace again, a little too long; yet as we pulled apart, we’d eke out delicate smiles as we went our separate ways for the day, confident in the awareness that we’d be together safely again come evening.

If it was up to me, I’d banish the fear.

Standing bullishly, steel-tower upright and strong; arms crossed over my chest, facing into the bleak; I’d defend you as you stood behind me. Nothing would pass to bring you agony. No harm could penetrate. An invisible shield lovingly guarding you from all that might bring to you hurt, or cause you to cower fearfully in the dark places. The soft, bright, warm glow of inner strength would flood over you until you again could stand tall beside me. At that point, arm-in-arm, the two of us would face the day, supported by each other, looking forward to the future once again.

If it was in my power, I’d eliminate the worries.

I would keep us in the present, realizing all that happened has gone and what is yet to come is powerless until it appears. We would rejoice in the Now, infused with the awareness that, in this moment, at this point in time, despite the maelstrom that swirls around us near and far, we are safe and secure and together. Remembering that this moment is all we have; for the past cannot be changed and the future is still a formless shadow. Anxiety would subside. We’d breathe deeply again, filling our lungs with peaceful calm, and savor the perfect moment of the here and now.

If there was a way to accomplish it, I’d heal away the illness.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Happiness, Hope, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: covid, covid 19, happiness, healing, health, Hope, list of wishes

Video: How to be a Friend to Yourself

April 3, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

From the YouTube page:

The person we may find it hardest to be kind and sympathetic to is, surprisingly, ourselves. Yet being a friend to ourselves provides the only viable basis for living an emotionally fulfilled life.

Filed Under: Happiness, mental health, Video Tagged With: attitude, feelings, happiness, health, self acceptance, video

Back in the Saddle; A Journey of Healing

June 29, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s been nearly five years since I was almost killed.

Specifically, it was October 25, 2011 at 9:46 AM.

That Tuesday morning was brilliantly sunny.

There was a delicate bite to the crisp, clear morning air as I pedaled my bicycle north on E Street to a 10 AM yoga class. After waiting for a green light on the corner of Fifth, I slowly pedaled into the intersection, immediately noticing a silver Honda was turning left into me, leaving no escape. Since the driver faced directly into the sun, she didn’t see me and accelerated, causing me to fly from my bike onto her windshield, shattering it with the force of my impact. Although I was conscious, I don’t remember details well; they were images scrambled like a video of a riot. However I clearly recall being tossed about like a leaf in a tornado; frenziedly trying to grab on to anything to hold me in place. Seconds later I slammed head first in the roadway 15 feet from impact.

EMTs helping me while lying in the street

Strangers flooded the intersection from every direction, protecting me from traffic as I lay, in shock, on my back. Cell phones clicked to life; people were shouting, running to my aid; someone grabbed my helmeted head from behind and said he would stay with me until the ambulance arrived, insisting I not move.

I could wiggle my toes and fingers, alleviating a minor level of anxiety, especially since I could see my pants were shredded and blood was flowing freely from my left leg. All I could do was let go and wait.

Five hours later, the emergency room doctor said to me, “You’re either made of steel or someone is watching out for you because men your age don’t take a hit like that and walk out of here. Go home.”

I am fortunate beyond words. My bike? Not so much.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Hope, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Personal Tagged With: bike accident, bike helmet, courage, fear, healing, healing process

Why are We in Such a Hurry to Lose Weight? (Part 2)

March 11, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

upset-woman-on-scaleLast week in this space, I posited the theory that, with almost seven out of ten people overweight (including over 30 percent obese), the reason most people don’t stick with their diets long enough to reach goal weight is because they give up when the pounds don’t drop “fast enough.” Logically, that makes no sense. After all, a slow weight loss is still preferable to no weight loss, which is the inevitable result when one throws in the towel altogether.

Of course, the motive for quitting isn’t rational; it’s one of two emotional reasons. The first reason we are so desperate to speed diet is that we fear motivation will vanish before we reach our goal, and we’ll end up spent, frustrated, and still fat. That is born of the false belief that motivation leads behaviors. Last week, I explained how motivation follows behavior and therefore we can motivate ourselves whenever we desire by engaging in behaviors. Due to limited space, I couldn’t address the second reason we quit, which I’ll do today.

That second reason we are in such a hurry to lose weight — as opposed to in a thought-out, healthy, and sustainable manner —

is complicated, but in part due to the fact that “fat shaming” is still accepted, even when so many other tactless slurs are now considered loutish and vulgar. The humiliation and guilt of being overweight casts its sufferers as lesser and out of control. The overweight are recipients of ignorant, countless wagging fingers — in person and throughout the media — proclaiming boorishly that if they possessed better willpower and a stronger moral character, they’d be thin. Condescending, hurtful, and hateful messages are hurled without end.

The unfairness of how society treats its citizens of size however is not the issue.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, goals, mental health, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, resolutions, Weight Loss Tagged With: achieving your goals, goals, inspiration, motivation, succesful weight loss

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