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You are here: Home / Archives for Rant

Exasperating – the verb

July 7, 2022 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I find myself exasperating a lot.

I’m assuming, as you read that, that you believe what I am saying is, “I find myself to be annoying, grumpy, and irritating.”

That is NOT at all what I mean. I am NOT saying that I find myself to be exasperating. Well, truth be told, sometimes I do, but that takes us off track, and in that case, I – and probably you – would indeed find myself to be exasperating. Anyway, my intention is to use the verb form of “exasperate.” To be honest, I’m not sure there is a verb form of exasperate; I couldn’t find one, so I might have made it up.

Nonetheless, as stated, I am exasperating (verb) a lot recently.

Now that I’ve made that clear as mud, an appropriate follow-up question is, “What is said action that one associates with the feeling of exasperation?”

At least in my case, it’s a curmudgeonly, exhausted, exhale which loudly escapes my lips when I am confronted with something of annoyance. Along with the sound comes a general attitude of irritation, rolling of my eyes – and oft times, a choice swear word or three.

I now provide an example of what in Scott’s world causes exasperating (verb tense).

Shoelaces.

Yep, shoelaces. They seem innocuous, I get it, but what yanks my chain is that “when I was a kid…” (every curmudgeon begins with that expression), shoelaces were cut to the length to fit the shoes with which they were partnered. If the shoes had four eyelets, the length of the shoelace would be shorter than, for example, hiking boots, with eight eyelets and a hooky-do thing to wrap your laces around. Dress shoes? Short laces. Knee boots? Long laces. Simple, right?

As they say, “Hold my beer.”

The Shoe Gods have decreed that all laces should be the same length. The repercussion of such a conclusion is that after tying my tennis shoes, what remains is a garden-hose length of excess laces, causing a tripping hazard. I have tried to stuff it into my shoe but that’s uncomfortable, so I double or triple-tie the laces, leaving large bows, attempting to utilize as much of the excess as possible.

Is that exasperating (adjective tense)?

Well, sure, to a point. But what causes me to exasperate (verb) is that, due to the extreme excess “laceage,” while walking I repeatedly step on the loops and they untie, requiring me to stop, exasperate, bend down, and re-fasten the laces. But wait! There’s more! Taking off shoes also initiates exasperating because inevitably, when I yank on the lace, it creates a knot, due to all the loops and unnecessary string wrapped around everything. This entails pulling the shoe from my foot while still tied, obtaining a fork (to insert into the knot to separate it), and unraveling the mini-Gordian knot that is now my shoe; all the while, exhaling forcefully, rolling my eyes, and cursing about the poor customer service of the manufacturer.

Shoelaces are not the only source of exasperating. Passwords are another.

Case-in-point, I started this column on my iPad but Microsoft required me to sign in first. This dictates getting my password manager, finding the correct code, selecting all images that look like a bus, entering in the squiggly (mostly-unreadable) letters on the verification page, and waiting for an email verifying I’m me. Of course, typing with stubby, old-person fingers on the flat screen of a device is at best, imprecise; so, because of a one-letter typo in my password, I am informed, “Too many attempts. Try again later.”

C’mon, you’re with me, right? That’s exasperating. I wanted to write, not pass an FBI security check. Sigh and roll your eyes with me. Profanity is elective.

To the point that started this screed, I’m exasperating a lot. I exhale more than a pipe organ with broken bellows. I don’t like that in me. Dare I say it, I find it exasperating (adjective, not verb).

I realize that “exasperators” are first-world issues. I get it. I’m grunting, griping, and grumbling my way through too much of my precious day over annoyances that on the grand scale of cosmic karma don’t even put forth a ripple.

Therefore, henceforth, I commit to focusing on not exasperating so often. It’s an all-too-often sign of frustration or anger, emotions in direct contradiction to gratitude and acceptance, which is where I wish to spend more of my time. My new focus will be, that even when something doesn’t occur the way I want or expect (which happens often but is inevitably minor), I shall choose to be grateful that I am alive to experience this annoyance. No, really, I’m serious. I’m working on that.

The exhale I just did was NOT exasperating, but satisfactionating.

(We’ll define that at another time.)

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Happiness, humor, Inspiration, Power of Attitude, Rant, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, frustration, gratitude, humor, self acceptance, thankfulness

Here we go again

August 4, 2021 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This column will not be like most of my others.

I consider this space to be a respite from the negativity that seems to crash as a tsunami over us without end. To that point, I’m working on acceptance and surrender; and to my credit, I think I’m doing well at it. It’s the bedrock of my spiritual principles and beliefs. I really do (mostly) believe that all is unfolding as it needs to and the Universe is conspiring for our greatest good.

However, just like you I’m a real person, and I imagine just like you, I’m having a hard time processing what’s happening to us yet again. I’m really ornery about what I think is a preventable fourth (or is it the fifth) wave of the pandemic.

I held faith that when 2020 came to its close, for so many reasons, life would improve. I don’t think any of us felt we’d hold hands and sing Kumbaya while we shared a Coke and taught the world to sing, but there was a bright star rising in the dark sky and, especially as the vaccine made itself known, there was a collective deep breath; a sigh of relief.

Oh well. Here we are, into another surge which is already worse than last summer as well as having the added insult of being preventable if not for people being selfish. (Yes, I get it; some people cannot get a shot but that’s a small percentage of the unvaccinated. Most are either misinformed, confused, or – for whatever reason – consider the vaccine a political statement.)  What makes it more frustrating than last year is that in 2020, COVID was still novel and we didn’t know what we were doing; the science was unfolding and we didn’t have a vaccine. Its spread was unavoidable.

Now, 18 months later, we know what to do. We have tools. We could stop this damn thing in its tracks – if it wasn’t for the lies, conspiracy theories, misinformation, and too many folks concerned only about “What’s in it for ME?”

I got my vaccine as soon as I could. Virtually everybody I know did the same. Yes, we did it for our own protection, but there was also a sense of community spirit, patriotism, and a realization that we have to all work together for the greater good to overcome a common enemy. It felt hopeful. I was proud.

Yet, as they say, “all good things must come to an end” and now we watch as people needlessly die or have their lives ripped apart because they refused to do the right thing. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Health, Newspaper Column, Rant Tagged With: anger, conflict, covid, covid 19, fear, health and fitness

This is Not Normal

August 7, 2019 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My purpose — as I understand the direction of my editors, as well as my own moral compass — is to try and bring to you a glimmer of light in your day.

As boldly evident, there is much darkness; and whether I write about habit change, attitude, communication, or attempt to crack wise; that objective remains my North Star. To stay true to course, I attempt to steer free of politics (although those who know me know that I have very strong opinions).

Today, I cannot be silent; it would be morally wrong.

Moreover, honestly, I am also finding it near impossible to remain hopeful. That is not me.

We are chewed up yet again by horrific, tragic, awful, terrible, unconscionable, outrageous stories of more mass shootings. This time, the names of the cities are El Paso and Dayton. (Gilroy, barely a week past, seems a distant memory.) I list only cities, as posting the victims’ names would heartbreakingly take more column inches than allocated print space.

I — and I imagine, you — feel like I have been rammed head-first through a meat grinder of emotions unwelcomed, undesirable, and uninvited; mercilessly whipped by a cat o’ nine tails in a sinister torture scene from a B-quality horror movie. We are pin balls bouncing through shock, fear, disbelief, powerlessness, grief, anger; desperately attempting to reclaim balance and serenity, only again to be rocketed off against our desires into the emotional sewage. It is a nightmare from which we cannot pinch ourselves awake.

Whereby we attempt to shield our damaged psyche in denial and say — more a prayer than a fact — it cannot happen here; that too is what the people of Orlando, Las Vegas, and Poway most assuredly believed.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Current Events, Newspaper Column, Rant Tagged With: compassion, Hope, mass shooting, News, violence

My Vision of An American Parade

July 3, 2019 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I was eligible for the draft but was not called.

To be honest, I don’t think I would have had the metal necessary to serve. Who knows? Maybe I would; it’s a moot point. That aside, I hold, without waiver, respect for those brave and strong enough who put their lives on hold and on the line to keep people like me safe and free. Please, as you venture forward in this piece, know that. As a matter of fact, please re-read this paragraph; it’s essential.

Therefore, one would be accurate to assert that any commemoration of our country absolutely, positively must pay tribute to the men and women in uniform. There would be no U.S.A. if not for their sacrifices time and time again. It’s trite to say it, but it is heartfelt, “Thank you for your service. We can never repay our debt to you.”

Equally true is that a celebration of this “great experiment” that portrays SOLELY that aspect of this wildly diverse nation misrepresents and minimizes the talents and skills of countless others who contribute and sacrifice for the greater good. If we are to be fair, they too must be mentioned.

To that end, my affirmation for a celebratory future parade includes a tribute to:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Rant, Special Tagged With: july 4th, opinion, politics

Fun Stuff About New Year’s Resolutions

January 6, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

One might think that since my professional life orbits in the galaxy of helping people change their habits for good that I might be a fan of New Year’s Resolutions.

Alien monster making resolutions

One might think that. However, one would be wrong.

Don’t misunderstand; I believe that any time one wants to make a change for the better it’s perfect. Should the passing of another year be the inspiration for that alteration, I’m all for it. However, the swing side of this first-of-the-year obsession is that each January, everyone and their brother is mouthing, “This year, I promise to…” – yet, they don’t. Blah, blah, blah. Moreover, the whole “New Year’s resolution thing” provides cover for the whole “over indulgence thing” that runs from each October through December. After all, one can fall back on the rationale; “I’ll get back in control next year. Give me another serving please; don’t be shy with the gravy.”

Anyway, I’m riding a little high on my horse. I apologize. Bottom line is that the best time to make a resolution is when you’re actually committed to doing it, whether that is January 1, March 22, or October 5. As the ad says, “just do it.”

Yet, as long as I’ve taken us this far down the road, let’s drive on and see what there is. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Habits, humor, Newspaper Column, Rant, resolutions Tagged With: change, changing habits, humor, new year's resolutions, statistics, success, weight loss

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