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You are here: Home / Archives for conflict

Here we go again

August 4, 2021 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This column will not be like most of my others.

I consider this space to be a respite from the negativity that seems to crash as a tsunami over us without end. To that point, I’m working on acceptance and surrender; and to my credit, I think I’m doing well at it. It’s the bedrock of my spiritual principles and beliefs. I really do (mostly) believe that all is unfolding as it needs to and the Universe is conspiring for our greatest good.

However, just like you I’m a real person, and I imagine just like you, I’m having a hard time processing what’s happening to us yet again. I’m really ornery about what I think is a preventable fourth (or is it the fifth) wave of the pandemic.

I held faith that when 2020 came to its close, for so many reasons, life would improve. I don’t think any of us felt we’d hold hands and sing Kumbaya while we shared a Coke and taught the world to sing, but there was a bright star rising in the dark sky and, especially as the vaccine made itself known, there was a collective deep breath; a sigh of relief.

Oh well. Here we are, into another surge which is already worse than last summer as well as having the added insult of being preventable if not for people being selfish. (Yes, I get it; some people cannot get a shot but that’s a small percentage of the unvaccinated. Most are either misinformed, confused, or – for whatever reason – consider the vaccine a political statement.)  What makes it more frustrating than last year is that in 2020, COVID was still novel and we didn’t know what we were doing; the science was unfolding and we didn’t have a vaccine. Its spread was unavoidable.

Now, 18 months later, we know what to do. We have tools. We could stop this damn thing in its tracks – if it wasn’t for the lies, conspiracy theories, misinformation, and too many folks concerned only about “What’s in it for ME?”

I got my vaccine as soon as I could. Virtually everybody I know did the same. Yes, we did it for our own protection, but there was also a sense of community spirit, patriotism, and a realization that we have to all work together for the greater good to overcome a common enemy. It felt hopeful. I was proud.

Yet, as they say, “all good things must come to an end” and now we watch as people needlessly die or have their lives ripped apart because they refused to do the right thing. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Health, Newspaper Column, Rant Tagged With: anger, conflict, covid, covid 19, fear, health and fitness

What Do We Do After The Election?

October 31, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

As I click-clack away on my keyboard, we are less than one week out from the most divisive, disruptive, discordant, conflict-ridden — and expensive — midterm election in our history.

In the supposed interest of improving the lives of millions of our fellow citizens (not to mention our own), certain candidates and their supporters have espoused hatred, name-calling, and “dog-whistles;” rationalizing such actions (I suppose) with the logic: “The ends justify the means.” Woefully, some campaigns, once platforms for intelligent, wise, uplifting deliberation of principles and goals, have been jam-packed with half-truths, falsehoods — lies — with no regard for the damage to remain in the wake of the vote.

If you have read this far, I know you share my sentiment that Election Day cannot come too soon; our sanity depends on an end to this madness.

Yet, the bleak reality is that — although, yes, elections do indeed have consequences and next week’s will bring with it its own — very little will change in our national sentiment come Wednesday. Do not misunderstand; I am in no way cynically advocating to stay home and skip your responsibility. Do not misconstrue my statement to be, “It won’t make a difference.” It will. Whether you agree or disagree with the direction of our country’s trajectory, you have power: the ballot. Be not dismissive of this awesome privilege. One vote – your vote – does make a difference. Additionally, this is not another in the on-going cavalcade of public service announcements and celebrity lectures preaching at the masses to “get out and vote.” You know that. Go do it. You owe it to this country you call home.

What I am attempting to point out is that the disarray that got us to this heartbreaking state of affairs will persist after the votes are counted. Those who fail to understand history are forever condemned to repeat it. Should we therefore not address the conditions which birthed this fetid swamp, we’ll be standing in it again in 2020, 2022, 2024… I don’t think I could take this another time; I wager you feel the same. We must then — together — strive to end this national psychosis which smothers our nation.

Hence it is crucial that we take a different road.

To that end, I offer some ideas, no matter on which side of the political spectrum you find yourself. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Current Events, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles Tagged With: communication, conflict, political discourse, politicians, politics

Choosing Peace

August 9, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Yes, I was young, and not totally aware of the implications at hand; still I recall my parents’ fear and anxiety as they sat transfixed, watching President Kennedy on our grainy black and white television. Images of empty grocery shelves come to my mind; whether I actually saw them first hand, or am remembering from documentaries I’ve seen over the years, I admit I can’t be sure. That of which I am positive is remembering the collective sense of relief as the emergency subsided.

As then-secretary of state, Dean Rusk said, “We’re eyeball to eyeball and I think the other fellow just blinked.”

In most locations, this column shows up on or near the weekend. However, I obviously write it earlier in the week. At the time I’m writing this, the current news cycle has many saying we are as close to the precipice of nuclear war as we have been at any time since those terrifying days in October 1962. We are hoping someone blinks as I don’t think any of us have the desire (nor the need), to be poised at the cliff’s edge once again 55 years later.

Nonetheless, here we stand.

I have a dilemma. My beliefs say that the more we focus on something, the more likely we are to make it real. I’ve seen it happen repeatedly in my own life. Does that infer that my fear of a military exchange is made more probable by my thoughts? Am I contributing to the problem? Obviously, it’s not a choice for which I wish, but with the level of trepidation as high as it is, it’s impossible to banish the notion completely.

To that end, maybe it would be of value to picture a softer outcome.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Conflict Management, Current Events Tagged With: affirmations, conflict, current events, News, politics

Creating a Movement of Compassion

April 5, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I was an unusual kid.

For those who know me today, that’s probably a no-brainer. Not only was I a fat teen with poor social skills, but I was a nerd before it was “in” to be one. My favorite subjects were math and science, and although I didn’t possess a pocket protector, scotch tape held the bridge of my glasses together. Nice image, huh?

I also developed a very early interest in the news. As a teen in the late sixties, while others hung with friends, listened to music, or chatted on the phone; I settled on to the couch to watch Bill Bonds, anchor of KABC TV’s Eyewitness News at Eleven, staying up late to watch Dick Cavett.

Yeah, really; that was me. Par-tay!

Although I’ve lost weight, no longer have tape on my glasses, and would like to think I’ve established a social skill or two; I still possess a deep interest in the goings on of our world; some refer to me as a “news junkie.”

I rise and go to sleep to the news. During the day, I listen to podcasts and get alerts on my iPhone (which also flash on my smart watch). Ask me about virtually any headline and I can probably speak to it. Obsessed? Maybe. However, the term “involved” is my preference.

So, you’ll understand when I say I relate to the social media meme of late that proclaims, “My desire to be well-informed is in direct contrast to my desire to stay sane.”

I want — no “need” is the word —  to believe that everything will turn out for the best.

Yet, the progression of getting from here to there seems to be a bit tortuous to say the least. As I write this, North Korea is lobbing missiles into the Sea of Japan; Syria is poisoning its people; millions of Americans’ health care hangs in the balance; the Senate Republicans are threatening to invoke the “nuclear option,” and all of this is on top of an all-consuming investigation into whether or not the administration was manipulated by Russia. Based on how much news took place in 1968, that year has been called a “rip in time”. Compared to that, so far 2017 has torn time’s fabric to shreds.

I won’t lie. The whole damn thing is wearing on me.

No matter where you fall on the issues, I’m sure you feel it too. However, despite the meme referenced previously, the stakes are too high to tune out and shut down. We must be more, not less, involved.

The question then is, “What can I do?” After all, I’m a speck of dust in a galaxy.

Yes, we can speak out and raise our voices, making our will known; and we need to do that. But in the immediate, there is a fundamental, uncomplicated, effortless adjustment any of us can do that will instantaneously affect our local communities: Be more compassionate and kind. Simple. Easy. Taught to each of us since we were born. I cannot imagine how treating others with more respect can aggravate the tension. This is especially true when it’s someone with whom I disagree.

Some might say I’m being naïve or foolish, expecting that others will react in kind.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Conflict Management, Current Events, Happiness, Inspiration, Newspaper Column Tagged With: act of kindness, attitude, compassion, conflict, inspiration, quality of life, relationships, respect

Where do WE go Now That the 2016 Elections Are Over?

November 14, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

I rarely wade into the political arena for a variety of reasons:

  • That’s not what my Monday Memo is about
  • It brings the trolls out in droves
  • I’m “conflict resistant” and don’t like arguing
  • As important as political discourse is, lately it seem like it’s just plain “icky”

Having said that, elections have consequences and here we sit, almost one week out, with a new president-elect.

Half of the country is optimistic, the other half is despondent. One half feels that we have found our way back, while their counterparts fear for the future. No matter how you cut it, the country is laid raw, exposed, split half and half. (I will not state who I voted for so don’t ask – and that’s not what today’s comments are about anyway.)

The question is, “What do WE do NOW?”

Some on the victorious side of the election shout, “We won! Get over it!” while many on the opposite side are protesting with chants such as “Not my president.” Although it might not seem like it at first glance, but these are the opening of lines of communication. Granted, it’s not a warm and fuzzy channel, but both sides are speaking – and while not necessarily trying to speak with each other, they’re being heard.

The way I see it, there are some realities that need to be addressed:

  • Barring some sort of seismic political earthquake, love it or hate it, Mr. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States come January 20, 2017
  • No matter what happens, there will continue to be detractors and supporters of his presidency
  • Neither side will “vanish” nor be silenced
  • Both sides will continue to work for their agendas
  • Neither side will simply “give up”

Accepting those, as we begin this new era, the first question we must all ask of ourselves is “What is MY intention for the future as we move forward?”

Without intention, we are rudderless, adrift.

For example, if the intention is “Let’s block everything that President Trump does,” the resultant communication – and its actions – will lead us down one path. If our intention is, “Show the ‘losers’ whose in charge now,” that will also have repercussions. However, if the intention is, “Let’s find a way to agree on what we can while politically fighting that where we don’t,” other options will make themselves known.

It’s certainly not a guarantee of success; but lack of intention is surely a guarantee for more conflict for decades to come.

We’re all (hopefully) going to be here for quite some time. Neither side will eradicate the other. Aiming to push, shove, or bully those with whom we might disagree will only prolong this chasm we see between us. Worse yet, there are real-life implications: millions and millions or our fellow human beings (both within and outside of the U.S.) will be hurt, further expanding the divide, making it yet harder to heal (which I assume is a goal of most).

I believe in “compassion first.”

Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean “give in,” but it does mean that first and foremost, I will treat each and every person neither as my superior nor inferior. I will strive  in all my communication with those with whom I disagree, to lay a bedrock of respect, seeking first to understand the motives without judgment. I’m not fooling myself (I hope) I know it won’t always be easy, but – to me – it’s the only path forward.

I hope you’ll join me.

Filed Under: Communicating, Current Events, Intentions, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Special Tagged With: attitude, better relationships, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, frustration, political discourse, politicians, politics, priorities, resolutions

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