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You are here: Home / Archives for Newspaper Column

Bathroom Humor

May 24, 2023 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I don’t know if this is what is called a “trigger warning,” but this piece deals – quite literally – with bathroom humor.

Before we go there, know that I am not making light of a serious subject.

According to the National Cancer Institute, Colorectal Cancer kills approximately 52,000 people annually in the United States, the second most common cause of cancer death. It is even more alarming when one realizes that the over 150,000 cases each year make it the third most commonly diagnosed cancer (behind lung and breast cancers).

That said, in February, as part of my regular wellness check-up, I took a Cologuard test.

If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a less-invasive alternative to a colonoscopy. Instead of spending a day drowning in clear fluids and sports drinks, mountains of Jell-O, and enough industrial-strength laxatives to clean out a county’s entire sewer system; all while spending an entire day captive to the bathroom, the Cologuard test allows you to – um, how do I say this delicately – do your business in a box and mail it to a lab. Once received, they engage in some sort of quasi-chemical-medical magic and inform you of any symptoms that might be associated with Colorectal Cancer. Whereby there’s still a certain weirdness associated with sending “yesterday’s post-processed foods,” through the postal service, it’s less icky than a colonoscopy. (Of course, I can’t help thinking about the poor folks in the Cologuard receiving department; who could actually profess, “Same ‘stuff,’ different day.”)

Anyway, in the topsy-turvy world of medical terminology, a “negative” result is desirable, meaning all is clear; while “positive” indicates potential problems. As you might assume, yes, my test came back positive. Me – being me – went through an initial freak-out mode, running around the house with my hair on fire, expecting this to be the beginning of my unavoidable skid into my demise. Truth be told, I can come unglued over unexpected bruises, but that doesn’t take away from the fear.

My doctor said the next step would be a colonoscopy which was slated for three months hence. That was yesterday.

For the last 90 days – again, me being me – every time my stomach gurgled, cramped, or my regular “lavatory habits” were abnormal (no further detail need be provided; use – or don’t use – your imagination), I became frightened. I talked to my family, consulted with my minister, and reached out to a therapist. I even attended a seminar on end-of-life planning (which at my age is a good idea anyway). Since I have a knack that allows me to reveal the dark cloud behind any silver lining, I was positive it was my end-of-days.

Before I resume the narrative, let me save you some concerns if you ever have to take a Cologuard test. I learned that firstly, and most important, the test doesn’t scan specifically for cancer. Positive results indicate that blood was found in one’s stool; that’s all. Granted, no one is excited about that (I assume), but that can be due to all sorts of minor reasons including what one ate. As a result, over 90% of positive results are either what are termed “false positives” or due to polyps, small growths in one’s colon, which can be easily removed during a colonoscopy.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Health, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, breast cancer, cancer

Scared of my Shadow

March 1, 2023 by Scott "Q" Marcus

I have spent the last couple of months engaged in the most creative, expansive, complicated project this near-70-year-old body has ever experienced.

With the support, guidance, and loyalty of a couple of dozen actors and technicians, I was at the helm of a world-premiere fairy-tale, fantasy, live experience that debuted here in my hometown, written by – and co-directed with – my sister. From the birth of the concept until the final standing ovation and triumphant critical reviews, it has been an intensive, immersive, magnificent memory that I will take to my grave. I wish you a long enough life so that you can share the joy of an event like that before your time comes to an end.

This brings me to my point.

While swirling and spinning with arms outstretched among the fairy dust, magic wands, and magical characters of Never After Happily, the real world oozed through. Like a gelatinous, ominous, malevolent, sticky goo rising through the floorboards in a horror movie, I received the shocking news of the results of a medical test I recently took. It is indeed the dark, oppressive yin to my starry, colorful, brightly-lit, fantasy-miracle world of yang.

I thought about whether or not this was appropriate fodder for my column. Of course, after one has written a regular piece like this for almost 20 years, everything that happens has the potential to be the basis of one of my missives.  Yet, I hesitated because, well, is it a case of TMI to share my medical news with several thousand strangers? Is it anyone’s business aside from my family’s? Will they look at me differently? Does it matter?

Yet, the reality is that although we might never have met in person; you and I have not shared a cup of coffee or talked on the phone, or even exchanged text messages. We have not breathed deep the warmth of a shared hug or even smiled face to face as we passed each other on the street. Nonetheless, in my mind, you are family. I know not how you look. I have never heard the timbre of your voice, nor shaken your hand. However, when I write these words each week, I see you as clearly as the orange, blue, acrylic; star, planet, and comet mobile that hangs in my office. You are always with me.

With family, one shares.

So, to that end, my doctor wanted me to take a Cologuard test. At this age, that’s S.O.P. There was no advanced concern; I am not showing symptoms of colorectal distress. It’s just what one does at this age, realizing that there are fewer days in front than behind, and wanting to maximize the time we have left.

In my view, the only proper result for a medical test, is a bright red, circled “A+” emblazoned across the top of the page, the words, “Great Job!” handwritten nearby. It is certainly not to see the harsh declaration, “Positive – Abnormal,” in black and white on a computer screen.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Gratitude, Health, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, cancer, emotions, health, health care, medical costs

You are not who you think you were

August 26, 2022 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I get sucked down the social media rabbit hole too easily. Like the dog in the animated film “Up” getting distracted by a squirrel, a bright shiny meme can jerk me into the vortex like a black hole. Sometimes that which crosses my feed, in the vernacular of my younger days, “blows my mind.”

Such was the case from a post from the group, “Empaths, Old Souls & Introverts”, mostly quoted verbatim:

“…the person you think of as ‘yourself’ exists only for you, and even you don’t really know who that is. Every person you meet, have a relationship with, or make eye contact with, creates a version of ‘you’ in their heads. You’re not the same person to your mom, dad, or siblings as you are to your coworkers, neighbors, or friends. There are thousands of different versions of yourself in people’s minds. A ‘you’ exists in each version, and yet your ‘you,’ which you call ‘yourself,’ isn’t really a ‘someone’ at all.”

We are therefore the mash-up of our own perceptions mingled with those of each person who has ever met us. None of us know who we truly, completely, really are; we think we do. We’re closest to our true selves than anyone else, yet still, there are facets of us that are unknown and untested. Each of us has been embarrassed, ashamed, or inspired by actions we took; not knowing we would do so until we did.

Additionally, no matter how briefly, each person who interacts with us creates a story about who they perceive us to be, entirely based on how we look and act, flavored by how well they think they know us. They react to their opinions – not to reality – with behaviors. We, in turn, respond to their reactions, creating a transient, fluid, interwoven, back-and-forth of experiences, thoughts, circumstances, and perceptions of ourselves and others, which is as close to who is the “real you” as possible.

Moreover, the “you” of today is not the same “you” that you will be as tomorrow becomes yesterday, and each of us can certainly attest that the “you” of our past no longer exists.

There are real-world impacts to this esoteric, heady concept.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk Tagged With: aging, attitude, change, early childhood, happiness, lifestyle change, negative self talk, perception, quality of life, self talk

Who are you? Are you sure?

July 30, 2022 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Today’s column is a bit heady and requires a little bit of writing.

Don’t fret; it’s nothing complicated. Ready? Of course, you are. Without giving it a lot of thought, write down the first words that come to mind that describe you.

Most people start relatively superficially. For example, I began with “Scott Marcus.” That’s not actually a description of me; it’s my label. So, with more thought, I added “man,” “father,” and “husband.” That dug deeper but is still scratching the surface. After all, there are billions of “fathers” and “husbands” so those words still fall short in describing who I am. To be more specific, I can add a resident of California, 67 years old, self-employed, coach, speaker, and writer. If you’re doing this activity with me, you’re getting a fuller image of who you are, but in reality, these still are more what you do, rather than what makes you you.

To get down to your core, it’s necessary to identify your values, emotions, and beliefs; they are what make you you. Using myself as an illustration, those might be traits such as honest, compassionate, liberal, worried, self-conscious, spiritual, intelligent, funny, angry, and loyal. Whereby I’m not all of those at once, any one can rise to the forefront, depending on the situation in which I find myself.

Adjectives create images; hurried one-word stories replete with judgments. For example, “annoyed,” (a state of mind in which I often find myself of late), invokes imaginings of impatience, crankiness, and pedantic. However, “compassionate” inspires warmth, caring, and helpful. I’d rather be associated with the latter than the former – but, in reality, they’re both me at various times.

Why does all this matter?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Habits, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: change, feelings, happiness, negative self talk, positive self image, quality of life, self assessment

Perfect Holiday Moments

December 9, 2021 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Summer, as it does each year, dropped off a cliff, bypassing Autumn, and crashed unswervingly into Winter.

The date on my calendar doesn’t yet agree, but climate pays no heed to the small square, dated, boxes hanging underneath “December” with a cute picture of a furry otter that adorns my office wall.

Winter is a state of mind, not a date.

Not too long ago, I walked my neighborhood wearing shorts and a short-sleeve shirt. Today, not only am I in heavy jeans, turtleneck, and fleece vest, but my feet are warmed by “heat holder” wool socks, and there’s a space heater glowing orange by my toes. Winter has made itself recognized; I prefer the blues, greens, yellows, and warmth of Summer. Gray, ashen, pewter, and cold don’t do much to boost my disposition.

Realizing I’m now closer to 90 than I am to 40, I’m in a place in my life where I am attempting (not always successfully) to not let that which I cannot control, control me – especially my attitude. In my oh-so-much-younger days, I would go all cranky over the inclement chill of mid-December. Today, I’m as much into “acceptance” as I can be. Beyond giving up grousing, I actively look for the beauty that envelopes me, even if painted in a drab, drizzly, dark sullenness.

To that end, I’ve noticed how many perfect moments in which my life is wrapped; should I just be open to experience them. They’re omnipresent; in any instant, everywhere. I simply open my eyes and soak them in.

My dog, 20 pounds of curls and ears, is a wind-up toy of joy and love. Adorned in his holiday finery – a red, blue, white doggy sweater decorated with a pattern of snowflakes and trees – he bounds through our house, full-steam, back and forth down the hardwood hallway, nails clicking, stubby tail wagging, an oversized doggie-bone proudly transported in his jaws. All feet and ears as he slides along the floor, attempting to find traction, the excitement knows no restraint. Dog: uncontrollable joyfulness. Watching him, the love inside me explodes and I cannot help but laugh. The cold swathed around my bones dissolves. I ask for nothing more; this is perfect.

Although I now bundle up to take my morning walk and the nippy dampness pierces the puffy jacket dedicated to keeping me warm, one of the countless things I like about living here is that people smile and wave as we pass each other.

“Happy holidays!” shouts a chap about my age, wearing an obviously well-loved, slightly frayed, Santa cap. He waves with gloved hands from across the street.

“You too,” I call back. “Have a joyous season.”

I smile – as does he, and accents it with a pretend salute as he passes into my memories. I don’t know him; probably never will. It doesn’t matter; at that moment he improved my life, making a perfect instant better than I could wish for.

Like so many, we decorated our home.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Holidays, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: attitude, family, feelings, gratitude, happiness, holidays, inspiration, perfect moments, thankfulness

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