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You are here: Home / Archives for verbal communication

Verbs Versus Nouns

July 31, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Language evolves; it’s a living entity.

websters-dictionary

As example, in the 1700s, what was a “butt-plate?”

If you thought it to be the 18th century version of shape wear or something on which you placed your “pratts” (buttocks), you’d be completely wrong. Rather, it was the metal plate at the “butt end” of a musket, used to protect the wood and possibly make the butt a better weapon unto itself.

Moving into the late 1800s, “seven miles behind the moon,” had nothing to do with astronomy. Rather, it was a way of saying someone was “crazy,” or “out there.”

We needn’t look too far into the past to see this evolution.

In our lifetimes alone, the use of words has drastically changed. I’m probably the only person on the planet who still uses the term “righteously bitchen.” Yet when I was a teen, that manifestation was about as common as platform shoes and aviator glasses. Now it’s heard as often as we see pet rocks.

This year, the latest additions to Webster’s dictionary included “crowdfunding,” “selfie,” and “fracking;” three terms that would have made its users seem seven miles behind the moon in the very recent past. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Communicating, Conflict Management, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: communication, conflict, conflict resolution, disciplinary action, feelings, handling conflict, language, nouns, verbal communication

Say What You Mean. Mean What You Say.

June 20, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Some think I have a tendency to be “curt” or “too direct” in my communication.

Of that group, there are those who appreciate it, and there are those who urge me to “soften what I say.” I believe I am diplomatic, and I know I am most certainly aware of the feelings of the person to whom I’m speaking; foremost in my thoughts being, “How would I want someone to say this to me?”

But — especially in matters of high import — the way in which we construct what we say is essential. Tying oneself into a verbal and linguistic Gordian knot to avoid taking responsibility for what is truly meant so dilutes the message that the recipient is unsure what was being said from the get go. (Example: Have you ever listened to a politician answer a direct question? It can be painful.)  This type of tête-à-tête serves no one, exacerbating the issue. Direct interaction — delivered in a thoughtful, sensitive fashion — is not rude; it shows respect to the recipient, while causing the deliverer to be more precise in which words he or she chooses, lowering the possibility of conflict.

With that as my bias, let me hoist my High Crankiness upon my soapbox yet again.

If you ever have to tell someone something you think they need to do differently, or something you don’t like about what they do, raise your hand prior to opening your mouth and take with me this pledge:

“I refuse to say anything like ‘Everyone thinks you need to do this,’ or ‘All your co-workers are concerned,’ or ‘Some people say…’”

Hiding behind “everyone else” or “what others say” is — frankly — just plain cowardly. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Conflict Management, Newspaper Column Tagged With: co workers, communication, conflict, crankiness, effective communication, feelings, interaction, managing others, power of words, taking responsibility, verbal communication

The Importance of Live Conversations

June 9, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Note: This piece was written by Mike Robbins; one of the best speakers (and nicest guys) you’ll ever meet. I’m honored to be able to use it. If you would like to know more about him, you can find his information at the end of this post. Enjoy.

Have you ever had a conversation, disagreement, or conflict escalate over email?

Do you sometimes find yourself engaging in difficult or emotional conversations electronically because it seems “easier,” only to regret it later on? If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, you can probably answer “yes” to both of these questions. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Communicating, Conflict Management, Group Support, Guest Author, Relationships Tagged With: conflict, conversations, disagreement, electronic communication, email, fear of rejection, mike robbins, poor judgment, twitter, verbal communication, voice mail

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