Complain, Complain, Complain… Can We Put Things in Perspective?

July 6, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My, but we’ve become a grouchy lot, haven’t we?

Maybe it’s climate change, or the economy; who knows? It could be the alignment of the stars for all I know, but we’ve got our cranky pants hitched on and we’re wearing ‘em a little too snug around our sensitive parts.

Okay, maybe YOU are not cranky, but many of us are, and if you won’t own it, I will.

I’m at the supermarket loading up on low-calorie, high-fiber, sugar-free, non-fat, no-taste foods that I force down my gullet in order to keep my weight in check. I really want chocolate, french fries, and chips; but that’s not happening, so I’m feeling deprived. Adding insult to injury, I don’t have time for this errand, but since my refrigerator resembles an arctic cave, I’m cooling my jets in the check out line. The lady in front of me waits until after the clerk has totaled all her groceries before she takes out her checkbook, enough of a trigger to kick my internal curmudgeon into overdrive,

“Hey lady!” the voice in my head screeches. “You didn’t realize you were going to have to pay for this before hand? Couldn’t you have check ready when you got in line … besides you’ve never heard of debit cards?!!”

Since I won’t comment out loud (I’m too “polite”), I roll my eyes, exhale with exasperation (making sure she hears it), shift my feet restlessly, cross my arms, and set my attitude to low burn.

Or have you ever had your cell phone drop a call? [Read more…]

Facebook Friend Invitations: The New Spammers

June 27, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s time for a rant!

I have to vent!

I like Facebook (one might be able to tell by the time I spend there. Sigh…). HOWEVER, just because I’ve agreed to be a friend does NOT mean I want to receive an invitation (more accurately called “advertisement”) to EVERY FREAKIN’ EVENT someone is doing. (Besides, I thought Twitter was the place for annoying advertisements… Just joking… )

Today, I got the next in a series of invitations to attend a law forum (do I look like a lawyer?) in Wyoming (am I even NEAR Wyoming?) telling me how to improve my failing law practice (I guess since I didn’t know I was a lawyer in Wyoming, it explains why my practice has not been doing well). I have received from this “friend” a new law forum invitation every week and they’re never near me and I always say “NO” (do you think he’d get the hint?).

Why do I continue to get all these Facebook invites?

I apparently have some “friends” who don’t give a damn if I’m interested – or if I can attend – I’ve just become part of their daily broadcasts. I want to keep them as friends but I don’t want to merely be a vehicle by which they promote. Sure, go ahead and promote what you’re doing sometimes. I want to know. I want to help. I might even want to attend. But, be somewhat selective.

In marketing, I learned, it’s about:

Know Me
Like Me
Trust Me
Buy Me

If all you do is send me ads, oops, I mean “invitations,” and you don’t care if I fit, you don’t know me, to be honest, I won’t particularly like you, I certainly won’t trust you – and I can assure you that I will not buy from you. Most likely, the response will be “unfriend.”

If you think it’s something I might like, please invite me. (And I realize we all make mistakes so sometimes it won’t fit.) However, If I just wanted a big ol’ list of advertisements in the morning, I’d get a penny shopper.

I’m sorry. I try to be positive. Once in awhile it just gets to me.

I feel better now. I am returning to sanity.

P.S. Now, please send this to everyone you know, whether you think it would be of value to him or her or not.

The Power of Intention

June 15, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s the intention that matters.

Being a news junkie, I’m glued to the cable networks. Wedged between the peccadilloes of badly behaving starlets and inappropriately tweeted photos, the anchor brings in two political panelists to discuss the upcoming election (Already? Really? Oy!) To feign “balance” he has a GOP strategist and his Democratic counterpart (as if there are only two sides to a story – but don’t get me started). I don’t remember the first question, and frankly, it doesn’t matter; but what I do recall was once the argument commenced, it became animated without delay. Lots of energy and of course, disagreement, exchanged between the duo.

It could have been either one; but in this case it was the GOP guy who started “powering” over anything stated contrary to his position. When the Dem countered, the Repub would shout him down, yelling ever louder. He didn’t call names; he wasn’t condescending; and – to be honest – he made logical sense (although I disagreed). But this is not about politics.

After the “discussion” ended, I had a mental image of him talking to his friends off-camera. They were probably all high-fiving, shouting, “Wow! You blew him out of the water,” or “He couldn’t hold a candle to you.” Congratulations would abound; backslapping would ensue.

That’s when it dawned on me; his intention – as far as I could discern – was NEVER to have a discussion, but rather to prove his point; and that’s what showed.

The number one law of change: Intentions direct actions.

[Read more…]

How to Stop Putting Yourself Down

June 13, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Don’t let your “Big But” get in the way of rewarding yourself.

This one might take a little explaining…

We are great about insulting ourselves and not so good about complimenting ourselves. For example, a co-worker points out that you did a great job dealing with a difficult customer. Instead of saying, “Thank you,” we say, “Yeah, BUT, I really wanted to lay into her.”

A friend notices your parenting skills and comments, “You are a wonderful mom!” You say, “Yeah, BUT, you should have seen me last night.”

Or your spouse says, “You’re looking great. It looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.” You reply, “Yeah, BUT, I cheated all week.”

What’s with that? Why do we have such a hard time accepting compliments?

By denying what we do well, we feel bad. When we feel bad, we engage in habits that make us feel better. Those are usually the habits that hold us back. So, each time we put ourselves down, we increase the likelihood that we will hold ourselves back.

A compliment denied is punishment self inflicted. It’s not conceited to honor what you do well, it’s necessary. Try it (and make sure to find a reason to compliment others too).

Special bonus: if you’d like to hear a fun ten-minute audio of a presentation I did on this very topic, you can go to MarcusStrivingImprefection10Minutes

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

The Importance of Live Conversations

June 9, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Note: This piece was written by Mike Robbins; one of the best speakers (and nicest guys) you’ll ever meet. I’m honored to be able to use it. If you would like to know more about him, you can find his information at the end of this post. Enjoy.

Have you ever had a conversation, disagreement, or conflict escalate over email?

Do you sometimes find yourself engaging in difficult or emotional conversations electronically because it seems “easier,” only to regret it later on? If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, you can probably answer “yes” to both of these questions. [Read more…]

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