In my seminars, I explain that it’s important to be understanding of the intention of the person you’re working with. In this funny advertisement, we see someone who doesn’t seem to get the point.
Staying out of Office Gossip
The Dangers of Office Gossip
About six months ago, office gossip reared its ugly head at my company. Two of my coworkers – I’ll call them Bob and Sue – had always driven separately but happened to arrive at work together one day. Unfortunately, as they walked into the building, they were spotted by a notorious chatterbox who quickly assumed the two were dating. What was simply an effort to go green and carpool became something of a soap opera, one that took a long time to quell.
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised how quickly news of the new “relationship” spread. My office uses Skype to communicate throughout the day and messages full of speculation and gritty details about my coworkers’ personal lives started flying back and forth. Getting caught up in the gossip net was, sadly, a little too easy. Regrettably, what started as a few simple jokes eventually caught the attention of our human resource management team.
A couple weeks into my coworkers’ new driving arrangement, the aforementioned chatterbox was enthralling a group of people with horror stories about Bob’s ex-girlfriend. Because the woman in question had recently left the company, it wasn’t too much of a leap to assume that Bob was now dating Sue. Unfortunately, as the gossip commented that she hoped Sue would be better for Bob, Sue walked into the break room. The screaming match that broke out could be heard down the hall.
What one person had seen as harmless fun ended up being a serious problem for our company. Everyone had to take a day away from work to attend a human resources seminar about interoffice dating. Bob and Sue continued to ride to work together, but had to meet with the human resource management team to confirm they were not dating. The chatterbox faced disciplinary action for spreading false information using a work computer and ended up resigning.
Perhaps that strife could have been avoided had we all been mindful of a few tips:
Four Rules for Disagreeing
It is OK to disagree.
Sometimes, for our health (mental or physical), or for the health of others, we actually must disagree with someone.
It’s not a problem to disagree, it’s HOW we disagree that matters.
A few quick suggestions:
- Begin your statements with “I feel…” rather than “you are…”
- Understand your intention is to state your view, not to put down the other person’s view
- Listen to what he or she said
- Realize the two of you might not agree no matter what
If we look at disagreements as an opportunity to enhance a relationship rather than a test of wills, the anxiety level will be lowered, the process will be smoother, and we just might get what we want.
It’s OK to Make Mistakes
People will love you even if you make mistakes.
They just expect you to admit them and try and correct them.
Think about how you react to someone who made a mistake and then owned up to it versus someone who refuses to admit she’s wrong. It’s not that people expect us to be perfect any more than we expect them to be perfect.
We expect mistakes.
We also expect honesty and a sincere desire to make right on those mistakes.
Try something new. Make a mistake. Own it. Ask for help.
And then move on – and do it all over again.
Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.
Video: Ryan Gosling Stops New York Street Fight (Really)
I started following the Good News Network awhile ago. (After all, don’t we need some good news periodically?) I’ve followed up on a few things I’ve seen them post (such as the “What Makes a Good Place to Live” post in June). Tonight, I see that Ryan Gosling actually broke up a New York street fight.
You can see the whole thing unfold in this video (be aware, this is a real fight so it might not be appropriate for smaller children).
You can find the whole story at the Good News Network page here.
It is a little disheartening that no one else stepped in and that those filming it didn’t call for help, but that doesn’t take away from Mr. Gosling. I’ve liked him as an actor since “Lars and Real Girl,” and now respect him on more than one level.