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You are here: Home / Archives for self esteem

What You Say To Yourself Affects What You Do To Yourself

March 9, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Habits Happen bumpersticker

In reality, habits do not just “happen.”

They are the end result of a chain consisting of thoughts which lead to feelings which lead to actions. If you wish to change the actions long-term, you must change your internal dialog first. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, goals, mental health, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Self Talk, Success Tagged With: be kind to yourself, habit change, negative self talk, positive self image, self disgust, self esteem, self talk

Is Your Attitude Showing?

August 12, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Your attitude shows – even if you think it’s hidden.

I'm in a bad mood, steer clear!

Don’t deny it; own up to it.

Others are already aware of it – even if you never say anything.

And don’t feel bad if it’s not “happy-clappy” all the time. After all, we all have our down days. After all, someone with a “positive attitude” is simply someone whose attitude is positive more times than it’s not.

Check your attitude regularly. If it’s not serving you, do a reset.

Remember, as difficult as it might be to adjust it, it’s YOUR attitude and you can let it control you – or you can control it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, change, conflict, happiness, negative self talk, perfectionism, positive attitude, quality of life, self esteem

Are you controlled by “THEM”?

August 5, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The committee of They

“Should” is the word used by the invisible committee of “THEY” to run your life.

You know what it’s like,
“I should be thinner.”
“I should be a better parent.”
“I should have thought of that before.”

I should. I should. I should.

If you find yourself saying “I should,” you are under the control of the THEM. THEY use the word to put you in your place and to help you feel bad about yourself for not measuring up to an unrealistic standard.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, goals, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Relationships, Scott's Rules, Self Talk Tagged With: happiness, life balance, negative self talk, perfectionism, quality of life, self esteem, should

Are you Independent or Stubborn?

July 1, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

angry-child

Are you independent or are you stubborn?

It’s a fine line between being “independent” and being “stubborn.”

Being independent means being able to get along and function on your own without needing anyone else’s help nor approval. It also means you are open to hearing other’s ideas and to learning better ways to move forward.

However, being stubborn means insisting that you know how to do what you do irrespective of evidence or offered support; even if it’s not getting the best results. Stubbornness means you’re more determined to get your way rather than get it done well. In reality, stubbornness harms relationships and holds you back.

It’s a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it. It’s a sign of maturity to recognize when you need the help.

Even strong independent people have areas where they need others.

Recognize them. Get help.

Then return the favor.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Change, Conflict Management, mental health, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Relationships Tagged With: attitude, better relationships, handling conflict, happiness, intention, productivity, relationship, relationships, self esteem

You Don’t Know Who You’re Messing With

January 23, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I conduct a monthly seminar, Marketing 101, for the Northern California Small Business Development Center, known as the “SBDC.” I am fortunate to have piloted this session for the better part of a decade. One of the relevant factoids I’ve uncovered over that time is that a satisfied customer will tell five of his friends that he had great service, while his unhappy counterpart will spread forcefully the message of his discontent to 13.

The exact numbers might be debated but that would miss the broader point:

When someone wrongs us with dreadful service, our first thought is, “You don’t know who you just messed with!”

Come on, be honest, isn’t that the truth? Bad service has happened to you, right? And your reaction is to launch forth — sometimes with quixotic zeal — on a “mission” to bring down the offending business and correct the travesty of this injustice, while informing all you meet to steer clear of that worthless enterprise. I know I’ve done it. I’m sure you have too.

That caused me to ponder why in situations like that, we consider ourselves powerful and important; while in other circumstances, we give away that same influence.

It’s because of adjectives.

(Huh?)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk Tagged With: adjectives, attitude, discontent, labels, nouns, power of words, self acceptance, self esteem, self fulfilling prophecy, self-talk

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