Video: The Darker Side of Positive Thinking

July 12, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Can a positive attitude actually be a problem?

I had not previously heard of Barbara Ehrenreich, but she’s listed as “acclaimed journalist, author and political activist.” In this video, Smile or Die, from RSA, she explores what is termed as the “darker side of positive thinking.”

Whereby I agree that just thinking something can be naive and even dangerous (per her war example), I think she is simplifying the process. It’s not about just thinking and expecting a result. It is also about getting support, guidance, and direction from other people. Of course, you have to take some action too. Having said all that, my good friend Henry Mulak posted this on my Facebook wall and I think it is very cool. Not only does the animation intrigue me but she makes some great points.

What do you think?

The New Normal: Our Economy Will Never Return to How it Was, and We Better Accept It Quickly

June 22, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I’ve had a revelation.

Since the “great recession” of 2008 (which appears to still be in process) came trampling through our economic landscape, I have been — like so many others — waiting and hoping for the rebuilding. When will things get back to how they were? Can we soon return to easier times of job security and stable wages? My ship is weary of white caps; I long to navigate calm seas. When can we be there?

While pondering such issues, it fell hard on me, like a load of gold bricks sold on many radio talk shows as a “hedge against hard times.” The economy — and our lifestyle — will NEVER return to how it was. The “good old days” (such as they were) are in the rear view mirror and we have no reverse gear. We cannot turn around and they will not come back.

That’s an upsetting — some might say “terrifying” — concept. Never again will we be able to conduct our lives and businesses like we did “back then.” What we are now experiencing is — and will continue to be — the “New Normal.” Until our last days, and those of our grandchildren, “different” will be “ordinary.” Future generations will study the heyday of the 1990s and early 2000s much the same as we picture the gay 1890s or the early 1920s; wild, excessive, booming — and only imaginable as images in history books.

I don’t mean to be a downer, but it’s time we bow to an ever-apparent reality and accept facts for what they are, not what we long for them to be. Denying the obvious delays the inevitable, which furthers great hurt and denigrates our lives. Striving to maintain an illusory status quo by rejecting reality prolongs its effects; and makes worse the pain.

Having said that, I do pride myself on being positive, while understanding that the set up of this column might appear less than optimistic. Yet, it can be. Due to this unhappy situation in which we find ourselves mired, we are becoming more resourceful, better planning our expenses, accepting gratification in that which we took for granted previously, and we are contributing more to our local communities.

These are wonderful changes.

[Read more…]

How to Stop Putting Yourself Down

June 13, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Don’t let your “Big But” get in the way of rewarding yourself.

This one might take a little explaining…

We are great about insulting ourselves and not so good about complimenting ourselves. For example, a co-worker points out that you did a great job dealing with a difficult customer. Instead of saying, “Thank you,” we say, “Yeah, BUT, I really wanted to lay into her.”

A friend notices your parenting skills and comments, “You are a wonderful mom!” You say, “Yeah, BUT, you should have seen me last night.”

Or your spouse says, “You’re looking great. It looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.” You reply, “Yeah, BUT, I cheated all week.”

What’s with that? Why do we have such a hard time accepting compliments?

By denying what we do well, we feel bad. When we feel bad, we engage in habits that make us feel better. Those are usually the habits that hold us back. So, each time we put ourselves down, we increase the likelihood that we will hold ourselves back.

A compliment denied is punishment self inflicted. It’s not conceited to honor what you do well, it’s necessary. Try it (and make sure to find a reason to compliment others too).

Special bonus: if you’d like to hear a fun ten-minute audio of a presentation I did on this very topic, you can go to MarcusStrivingImprefection10Minutes

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

The Importance of Live Conversations

June 9, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Note: This piece was written by Mike Robbins; one of the best speakers (and nicest guys) you’ll ever meet. I’m honored to be able to use it. If you would like to know more about him, you can find his information at the end of this post. Enjoy.

Have you ever had a conversation, disagreement, or conflict escalate over email?

Do you sometimes find yourself engaging in difficult or emotional conversations electronically because it seems “easier,” only to regret it later on? If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, you can probably answer “yes” to both of these questions. [Read more…]

Overcoming Over-commitment

June 1, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Between all the “domains” in our lives – jobs, social activities, family and volunteer work, we’re often left with no time for ourselves. We’ve said “yes” to everything and then discover that there are not enough hours in the day, days in the week or weeks in the year to accomplish all we’ve said, thought and believed we could do. A human trait is the desire to please. We want to be kind, helpful and liked. That’s all wonderful, but what about when you can’t say no?

Over-commitment is not only frustrating; it also takes a toll on your health. There are many studies regarding the effort-reward-imbalance (ERI). One in particular involving the effort-reward-imbalance (ERI) and over commitment (OC), noted in The Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology said,

“Results suggested that all components of the ERI model – effort-reward-ratio, effort, reward and over-commitment – are associated with health-related quality of life, vital exhaustion, depression and quality of sleep.”

Considering that over-commitment actually harms our health, it’s time to decide what to do about it.

Here are some pointers: [Read more…]

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