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You are here: Home / Archives for commitments

February Resolutions

February 6, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

One can always tell the time of year by the dominant color at the greeting-card stores.

Starting with Spring, we begin the pastel season. We advance without delay into the “red, white, and blue” period; followed by “Orange and Black;” with a brief flurry of “Brown, Red, Orange and Forest Green” in November. (The colors for the latter part of the year shift quickly because the “Red Green” season dominates everything.) We conclude this colorful journey with the “RED!

RED! RED!” season, a period into which we are now firmly ensconced.

Aside from romance, this time of year also sadly signifies a type of break-up; the ending of well-intentioned resolutions proudly and honorably stated just four short weeks ago.

Resolutions expired

I have never been a big fan of resolutions. I’ve never done them; I don’t think I ever will. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely firmly believe that making commitments and setting goals are essential if I want to direct the changes in my life. I also don’t have a problem in the world with making them in January. I mean, sure, why not? January’s as good as any month.

But that’s the point: January’s as good as any month. Why do we feel that if we “blow it” in January, we can’t reestablish them some other time? Why not put forth a “February commitment;” or honor the father of our country’s honesty with a “George Washington Day Promise;” or pick Valentine’s Day to state my “love-myself-enough-to-change” vows? Granted, they might sound ridiculous; but are those dates of any less value than January 1?

Choosing goals basically because it’s a “that time of year” (and that’s when everybody does them) makes us less inclined to achieve them. Why? Because they’re not driven by an inner aspiration, but rather forced by external dynamics.

Long-term change (does any other type matter?) must be borne from within, not pushed upon us by outside forces. Yes, external drivers, such as weighing a certain amount, not fitting into your clothes, crossing a landmark age, going through a break-up, or losing a job; can be powerful triggers. Each will get you moving, for sure. But, once the initial pain has diminished, so does the drive to continue the very behavior which caused its dissipation.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Success, Think 1st Tagged With: commitments, january 1, new year's resolutions, resolutions, resolutions that stick, this time i mean it day, why resolutions fail

Stop that right now! (I’m Talking to YOU!)

August 31, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

What are you looking around for?

You know I’m talking to you. Yes, you — no, not the guy behind you. I’m speaking to YOU. Look at me; quit pretending you think I’m referring to someone else.

Now, just stop; it’s for your own good. We both know it.

Yes, I know you’re busy. You have so many responsibilities and commitments. But that’s not going to fly this time. We’re all busy. We’re all overloaded. It’s a matter of priorities, plain and simple. This time, make it work, OK?

Oh, more excuses? Well, welcome to Excuse Central pal; know ‘em all. Got ‘em all right here. “Just a little bit won’t hurt.” “I deserve it; it’s been a tough week.” How about this one: “When things settle down, I’ll do it.” I don’t mean to be rude or crude, but the only time things will totally settle down is when six friends are carrying you away in a box.

Of course, there’s always my favorite: “I can stop whenever I want.” Yeah, right. If you can stop anytime, why did you let it get so out of control?

Do you enjoy unending aches and pains? Isn’t it just oodles of amusement avoiding the dark side of the closet because you’re afraid those unused clothes “shrunk” since you last wore them? Are we having fun now?

And finally, the ultimate kick in the pants: that undisguised glance in someone’s eyes when she can’t cloak how surprised she is by how large you’ve become since she last saw you. Just makes you feel warm all over doesn’t it? Sure, sure, she covers it quickly; after all, she’s not trying to be rude. But for that moment — that one, brief, instantaneous, short-lived, horrifyingly candid, flash — your sole desire is to drop through a hole in the floor. Honestly, do you really want to deal with that again? How many times will you avoid friends to prevent that from happening?

What’s that? You DON’T like those feelings? Oh, good, we’re making progress. But you don’t have the energy to change?

I hear you! But, how much energy does it take for the 24-hour discomfort in your own skin? Or missing out on your kid’s lives because you’re too tired to play? How much of your precious life-force do you waste feeling bad about yourself every thinking moment of each and every day? Makes the effort more worthwhile, doesn’t it?

Ready to stop now? Good. I’m pleased for you.

Step one is stop talking to this mirror; get out there, and take a walk.

Filed Under: Diet, Excuses, Exercise, humor, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Procrastination, resolutions, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, change, commitments, diet, emotions, feelings, lifestyle change, priorities

Overcoming Over-commitment

June 1, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Between all the “domains” in our lives – jobs, social activities, family and volunteer work, we’re often left with no time for ourselves. We’ve said “yes” to everything and then discover that there are not enough hours in the day, days in the week or weeks in the year to accomplish all we’ve said, thought and believed we could do. A human trait is the desire to please. We want to be kind, helpful and liked. That’s all wonderful, but what about when you can’t say no?

Over-commitment is not only frustrating; it also takes a toll on your health. There are many studies regarding the effort-reward-imbalance (ERI). One in particular involving the effort-reward-imbalance (ERI) and over commitment (OC), noted in The Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology said,

“Results suggested that all components of the ERI model – effort-reward-ratio, effort, reward and over-commitment – are associated with health-related quality of life, vital exhaustion, depression and quality of sleep.”

Considering that over-commitment actually harms our health, it’s time to decide what to do about it.

Here are some pointers: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Guest Author, mental health, Overcoming Temptation, planning, Productivity Tagged With: commitments, depression, desire, effort reward imbalance, habit, journal of occupational and organizational psychology, occupational and organizational psychology, pointers, quality of life, urgency, vital exhaustion, volunteer commitment, volunteer work

How to Advance Your Business and Career by Doing Your Own Retreat

May 13, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Note from Scott: One cannot separate his/her personal life from his or her business life. Try as you might, if one is not going well, it will spill over into the other. This detailed article, from Tim Richardson, helps you move forward in your career and personal life at the same time.

Here is an idea that can revolutionize your business and your life.

Many organizations have retreats but how many professionals do you know that take time to go offsite and do some thinking and strategic planning about their career and life?

How about planning some meaningful time to go away all by yourself and put some focused effort into your career? This process is commonly called holding a retreat though I like to refer to it as an advance – after all you want to go forward.

Your thinking, concentration ability and focus will be enhanced when you can get away to an environment that is conducive to creative thinking and planning. Find a place where there are no ringing telephones, pending projects, or distractions of other kinds. To maximize your productivity, leave behind your beeper, turn off the ringer on your cell phone, and block out some time where you don’t feel rushed by other commitments. If you completely clear your calendar and don’t call in for messages, your productivity will be greatly improved. I read recently that Bill Gates even copied my idea! Except Bill does a whole week and calls it his “think week”.

He was quoted in USA Weekend:

Ours is a very fast-moving field. You have to be able to step back from it. Many years ago, I decided to take a week every year and absorb myself in thinking many years ahead. I get colleagues to put together what Ph.D. theses I should read, what products I should play with, what memos I should look at. So, it’s been, except for sleeping a little bit, day and night all by myself uninterrupted.

If Bill Gates can do this, I would hope that most of us could find at least one day to spend in proactive thinking and planning. I did my first session on a beautiful remote beach in the panhandle of Florida. I spent some time working on the beach and some inside at the beach cottage I had rented. That one day advance resulted in more career growth and action than any other single thing I have done in my business. Since then, I’ve had a one or two-day session every year. I have done my advances in State Parks, at Bed and Breakfast Inns, on a camping trip, and in hotel rooms. Think of an environment that you enjoy and one that stimulates your creativity. You might try the mountains, a quiet park, at the beach or lakeside. Before you leave, give some thought as to what you want to accomplish on your planning retreat.

Here are some things to consider when you advance: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Articles, Business Goals, Guest Author, planning, Productivity, Special, Success Tagged With: bill gates, business advice, business life, business retreat, commitments, creative thinking, distractions, personal life, personal retreat, productivity, resolutions, strategic planning, tim richardson

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