How do you reward yourself for the changes you’re making?
This is not a rhetorical question. We engage in our habits (whether negative or positive) because we get some benefit from them.
First rule of habit change
The first rule of habit change says that when the pain from the “side effect” of the habit outweighs the benefit of the habit itself (e.g. when the frustration of gaining weight is more painful than the pleasure of eating) then it’s time to make a change. However, one does not just “drop” a habit, s/he has to replace it with a “counter-productive habit.” In other words, find something else to replace the void left by getting rid of the problem habit. If you don’t do this, it makes it more painful.
For example, instead of simply saying, “I won’t eat when stressed anymore,” which makes one even more stressed out, triggering the habit you were trying to stop; it’s smarter to say, “When I’m stressed, I’ll take a walk.”
The problem with changing habits
Although this is a good first step, it’s important to remember that the habit you’re trying to change was providing a benefit, so even though the new habit is helpful, it’s still uncomfortable, making you less likely to continue. That’s why it’s important to reward your “inner child” when you make a change. If every time you resisted your problem habit, you were to reward yourself, the change would be:
- More exciting
- Less painful
- Quicker
Once it changed, a car heading in the opposite direction proceeded into the intersection, as did I. Yet, instead of going straight, the driver turned on to the highway and directly at me. Unfortunately, the laws of physics say only one object can occupy a space at a time; so when a 2,600-pound car and a 180-pound bicyclist collide at the same point in time, one of them will be moved. Of course, that was me — and in a rather forceful manner.
