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You are here: Home / Archives for Asking for help

Creating YOUR Personal Stress Management Plan

April 3, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

by Elaine Dumler

Part 3 of 3 (part 2 can be found here)

handling stressStress is very personal, and so are the things in your life that create your stress. First, identify what “stresses you out” and make a management plan that works for you and your family. Begin with your “To Do” list.

Prioritize

  • When your “To Do” list becomes overwhelming, the stress it causes seems unbearable. You need to get that list down to a manageable size and here’s how to do that:

1. Write down everything you need to get done on List #1.

2. Divide a 2nd sheet of paper into three categories:

  • Critical – These items must be completed immediately because people or deadlines are depending on them. Some tasks that create conflict or are emotionally difficult to do should be placed here too.
  • Important – These tasks are not as immediate as critical, yet still urgent.
  • Postpone/Delegate – This category is a true stress reliever because it lets you delegate tasks. These tasks can slide for a bit while you tend to those on the critical list. Is it a task you can hand off to someone else? That takes it from your plate and may even work into another’s specialty area.

3. Now, return to list #1 and go through each item one at a time. Honestly determine where to place each task on your category list. You should have a new priority list that is fairly evenly divided among the three categories. This is more manageable.

4. Begin to tackle your tasks with the list under “Critical.”

  • Try to set a few specific times during the day when you’ll respond to email.
  • At the start of each week, review what needs to be done so you have a good idea of what’s coming up.

Organize

You’ll find extra time in your day if you organize areas of your life to enable you to function more efficiently. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Guest Author, Health, mental health, Procrastination Tagged With: conflict, guest author, happiness, interruptions, management plan, prioritize, priority, stress, stress management, stress reliever

Taking Control of Your Life

April 2, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Don’t let anybody else run your life.

However, if you let somebody else into your life, expect that they’re going to want to help steer.

Let them.

We need others. We are not as strong one our own as we are with them. That is why we develop relationships and build communities.

Yet, sometimes, there can be a fine line between getting support and having someone else run your life. Be open to letting others assist you. Listen to their ideas. However, if it doesn’t feel right, remember no one knows what’s best for you as well as you do.

Having said that, if you accept someone else into your life, let them help.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Excuses, family, Inspiration, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: quality of life, relationships, taking control of your life

No More Excuses

March 21, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Successful people find a way; failures find excuses.”

I don’t remember who told me that, and as much as I find the term “failures” to be a sloppy choice of words, it’s a valid concept. Day by day, hour-by-hour, we face options. Often, one path leads us forward while another locks us in place. Why then do we opt to stay where we are?

The human psyche is past complex and the reasons are beyond count. Sometimes, we didn’t realize alternatives existed until we look back. Possibly, the choices did not seem that diverse; in effect it was six of one, half a dozen of the other; any port in a storm. Maybe it was a snap decision without the necessary time to truly evaluate the results. Yet, more times than not, no sugarcoating the answer: we had an excuse.

At any moment, any one of us can dig deep into our sack of justification pulling forth numerous vindications why we make our choices. “Not enough time; people will think less of me; it’s never worked before, why will this be different?” As the stakes amplify, immovability expands, the opposite of what needs to happen.

For example, your marriage hits rough seas.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Beliefs, Change, Habits, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: choice of words, choices, courage, emotions, excuse, habit, quality of life, relationships, weight loss

Recognize Stress Before it Kills You!

February 23, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

stress attitudeby Elaine Dumler

Part 1 of 3. (Part 2 can be found here.)

Everyone suffers from stress at different times throughout their day.

We all know that “good” stress can peak your adrenaline and actually help increase your performance and abilities in getting a job done. This kind of stress is critical on the battlefield. It’s when stress begins to control us, instead of us being in control of it, that it turns into “bad” stress. This decreases our ability to react and respond properly in situations and can be damaging to ourselves and others. Stress, much like high blood pressure, can be a “silent killer.” In a three-part series on Stress, we’ll look at how to recognize stress, what you can do to reduce stress, and how to create a stress management plan.

What is stress?

Stress is the response your body makes to outside anxieties and stimuli that may seem out of your control. Most stress is normal and necessary to our overall physical and mental health. “Good” stress allows us to become protectors of those around us in dangerous situations and triggers a lifesaving “flight or fight” response. Stress levels depend on the degree, intensity and frequency of demands put on us. When does stress cross the line and become harmful? When it has a negative and prolonged affect on your moods, physical health, aggression and the people around you.

Become aware of stress symptoms.

Always be aware of your own body and when it’s acting in a way that’s not normal. Stress shows up in many different ways and can often be overlooked or interpreted as something different. ALL of these symptoms don’t have to be present, just a few at a time.

Look for:

  • Symptoms that resemble a heart attack – chest pain and shortness of breath
  • Prolonged increased blood pressure
  • Outbursts of anger
  • Feelings of “helplessness” and depression
  • Withdrawing from normal activities and people
  • Not responding to true danger around you – misinterpreting the situation along with confusion
  • Dizzy spells, weak muscles and trembling, disorientation
  • “Butterflies” in your stomach
  • Frustrated thinking in problem solving and decision making
  • Headache, sweating and “clamminess.”

Are you more susceptible to stress?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Conflict Management, Guest Author, Happiness, Health, mental health Tagged With: anxieties, attitude, chest pain and shortness of breath, dangerous situations, dumler, getting a job, guest author, heart attack, helplessness, high blood pressure, moods, physical health, shortness of breath, silent killer, stress, stress levels, stress management plan, stress symptoms

Video: Funny Drill Sargent Ad from Geico About Communication

December 18, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In my seminars, I explain that it’s important to be understanding of the intention of the person you’re working with. In this funny advertisement, we see someone who doesn’t seem to get the point.

Filed Under: Asking for help, Conflict Management, humor, Video Tagged With: asking questions, communication, empathy, geico, honesty, humor, relationship problems, relationships, therapy

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