Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
Yet the rewards are far greater.
Don’t get locked into the idea that giving is merely materialistic.
Open a door for a stranger. Let a car get in front of you in traffic. Pick up a piece of trash on the street.
The problem is many times we don’t know what to do.
The next time you achieve a goal – even a small one – think of someone you’ve been meaning to call for too long. You know how it is, you say, “I’ll call as soon as I get a moment.” But that moment never comes.
Call him or her and say, “I made a promise that every time I lost 5 pounds (or whatever your goal is), I would reward myself. Calling you is my reward for today.”
Imagine how the person on the other end of the phone will feel. Picture what it will do for your relationship. And, as importantly, imagine how nice you’ll feel for the remainder of the day.
“Yay! I am finally moving forward on my goals for the year!”“Well, I always make resolutions and then I give up. So, I did some research and I found out that experts say if you’re really serious, you have to write them down. So I got organized. I got all these ‘to-do’ lists, each broken down by priority, category, and deadline. And because we’re more likely to change when we focus on the rewards instead of the work, I’ve listed them in this column, ranking them from one to ten. See?”
“Wow! Those are sure a lot of ‘to-do’ lists. You’re going to get a lot done, huh?”
“Sure am! Let’s look at my ‘health’ list. I want to lose 30 pounds, so I devised a strategy. It’s right here. Step one, clean the kitchen of temptation; you know, get rid of the junk food. Then, go to the store and stock up on range-free, organic, all-natural, non-processed, low fat, low-sodium, high-fiber foods. I’m also buying some of those inert non-reactive, toxin-free pots and pans that let you cook healthier. To keep track of my food, I write down everything I eat in this journal over here, including recording the calorie count, as well as fat, fiber, and protein grams. But, I’m not done! Every Sunday, the family meets to plan out the entire week’s meals in advance, which we goes on this list. That way we have a proper healthy dinner every night. What do you think so far?”
This is not a rhetorical question. We engage in our habits (whether negative or positive) because we get some benefit from them.
The first rule of habit change says that when the pain from the “side effect” of the habit outweighs the benefit of the habit itself (e.g. when the frustration of gaining weight is more painful than the pleasure of eating) then it’s time to make a change. However, one does not just “drop” a habit, s/he has to replace it with a “counter-productive habit.” In other words, find something else to replace the void left by getting rid of the problem habit. If you don’t do this, it makes it more painful.
For example, instead of simply saying, “I won’t eat when stressed anymore,” which makes one even more stressed out, triggering the habit you were trying to stop; it’s smarter to say, “When I’m stressed, I’ll take a walk.”
Although this is a good first step, it’s important to remember that the habit you’re trying to change was providing a benefit, so even though the new habit is helpful, it’s still uncomfortable, making you less likely to continue. That’s why it’s important to reward your “inner child” when you make a change. If every time you resisted your problem habit, you were to reward yourself, the change would be: