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You are here: Home / Archives for self-talk

I Think Therefore I Become

June 17, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Next to my bed is a nightstand.

man-in-bed-in-bedroom

I presume that is a common arrangement in many bedrooms. Upon the shelf of the nightstand are many books; this too I assume is widespread.

Like me, I take for granted that many people have three categories of books populating their nightstands:

Some wait to be read. While at a bookstore, the concept between its covers was so striking that I plunked down money, thinking, “I will read that someday.” Alas, “someday” has yet to make its appearance. Being optimistic, I’m sure it will (probably about the same time as when “I get my act together”).

The second classification is books started but still unfinished. Maybe I lost interest, the story was not as expected, or simply “life kicked in.” I could give them away but feel like I betrayed them, (does co-dependence apply to books?) so I pledge to finish reading them in the future. Until that fateful moment, they too shall gather dust.

Finally comes the definitive category: Books completed. Residing here include authors such as Robert B. Parker, Dean Koonz, and Roger McBride Allen. Most are novels because I like to “escape.” However, there is one self-help book I have read over and over again. Although I do not buy into everything she says, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is infused with 210 pages of brilliantly simple wisdom (usually the best kind).

Hay’s philosophy, outlined in the foreword, includes:

  • We are each responsible for our experiences
  • Resentment, criticism, and guilt are damaging, and
  • It’s only a thought, which can be changed.

Furthermore, says Hay, feelings are “thoughts that stick.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Change, goals, Happiness, Power of Attitude, Psychology Tagged With: book review, louise hay, negative self talk, positive thoughts, self help books, self-talk, thoughts and feelings

Be Sparkingly Clear About What You Want

January 13, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Note: This last weekend was the launch of my seminar series, “Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.” Over the next few weeks, we’ll take a quick look at each one of the five.

crystal-ball

#1: Be sparkingly clear about what you want.

The number one reason people don’t move forward is they don’t describe their desired outcome well. They say things like “I want to feel better” or “I want to be more organized.”

Without concrete descriptions, you’ll always feel like you’re falling short.

Describe success in as much depth as you can.

Use numbers whenever possible. Create images. Focus on the feelings of being successful. Use concrete descriptions.

Counter-productive examples:

  • I want to be more organized.
  • I will lose weight.

Positive examples:

  • I will clean and arrange one drawer in my office every week until every drawer is completed.
  • I will weight 175 pounds and wear a size 32 pair of pants comfortably

Don’t be fuzzy when it comes to what you want unless it’s a pair of slippers.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Failure, goals, Motivational Monday, Success Tagged With: 5 habits, clarity, goals, self-talk, success

Are You a Success or a Failure?

November 18, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Celebrate your “successes”

– but don’t deny your “failures.”

jumping for joy manRealize how you label them matters.

 We learn by slip-ups. If we knew how to do everything we need to do, we’d already be doing it.
What might be a “failure” today many times is the groundwork for a future “success.”

Move forward. Fall down. Figure out why. Get up. Repeat.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Inspiration, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Self Talk Tagged With: failure, self-talk, success

I am Who I am, But Who am I?

October 8, 2013 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

I am who I am, but who am I?

sun-over-earth

This question struck me like a lightning bolt! I imagine I’m not the only individual to be struck either.

After struggling with a pessimistic thought process for years, I finally realized I’m as normal as the guy or gal sitting beside me on a train or bus. What makes us different and unique is how we decide to fix our pessimistic mindset. Many of us constantly climb this world looking one way… downward! There’s a constant battle between our mind and heart. We want and need what the heart knows to be right! However, our mind argues that we are pathetic, feeble and most times unworthy!

Let me take you back a few years, when I thought for many years I was unworthy of anyone’s company.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Gratitude, Guest Author, Happiness, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: acceptance, limiting beliefs, optimism, pessimism, self-talk

You Don’t Know Who You’re Messing With

January 23, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I conduct a monthly seminar, Marketing 101, for the Northern California Small Business Development Center, known as the “SBDC.” I am fortunate to have piloted this session for the better part of a decade. One of the relevant factoids I’ve uncovered over that time is that a satisfied customer will tell five of his friends that he had great service, while his unhappy counterpart will spread forcefully the message of his discontent to 13.

The exact numbers might be debated but that would miss the broader point:

When someone wrongs us with dreadful service, our first thought is, “You don’t know who you just messed with!”

Come on, be honest, isn’t that the truth? Bad service has happened to you, right? And your reaction is to launch forth — sometimes with quixotic zeal — on a “mission” to bring down the offending business and correct the travesty of this injustice, while informing all you meet to steer clear of that worthless enterprise. I know I’ve done it. I’m sure you have too.

That caused me to ponder why in situations like that, we consider ourselves powerful and important; while in other circumstances, we give away that same influence.

It’s because of adjectives.

(Huh?)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk Tagged With: adjectives, attitude, discontent, labels, nouns, power of words, self acceptance, self esteem, self fulfilling prophecy, self-talk

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