In reality, habits do not just “happen.”
They are the end result of a chain consisting of thoughts which lead to feelings which lead to actions. If you wish to change the actions long-term, you must change your internal dialog first. [Read more…]
Choose Your Identity
We have multiple identities.
Lest you get concerned and think I’m talking about hearing voices instructing to do evil unto others, let me expand.
I’ll use me as an example; the identities I cannot change include:
- Son
- Father
- Born of Jewish background in Detroit, Michigan in 1954 to Ruth and Symore (sic) Marcus
No matter what happens, nor how long I live, those will always be correct. But, they alone don’t make me who I am.
Therefore, my “core” must be found by other manners in which I identify.
- 60-year old
- Man
- Husband
- Resident of Eureka, California
- American Citizen
- Writer/Speaker/Consultant
These descriptions, while accurate, are more fluid than the first set.
I mean, we know for a fact that I can only identify as a “60-year-old” for this year; but do I change who I am if I change my marital status, residence, or even my gender? I think we’d all agree, that I would still be me. [Read more…]
Believe in Yourself as Much as you Believe in Others
We are incredibly supportive of our friends and our family.
When they doubt themselves, we are easily able to inspire, encourage, and invigorate them up with all sorts of compliments. As importantly, we truly believe what we’re telling them too.
Yet, when we are talking about ourselves we are not as good of a friend.
Which Words Are You Using to Describe Yourself?
When you think about who you are, which words do you use?
Are they complimentary or insulting? Do they lift you up or hold you down? Would you say them to a child?
The words we use to describe ourselves turn into the reality of who we actually are.
If somebody were to describe you, which expressions do you think they’d use? [Read more…]
Beating Yourself Up Does Not Work
Don’t beat yourself up over what you are not doing well.
Remember when you were 18?
Yes, you were an adult. Yes, you might even have been a responsible adult. However, could the “18-year-old you” juggle all the responsibilities you now have and effectively run the life you have today?
The answer is obviously NO.
Even at your current age, there are tools and skills you do not have. More importantly, you don’t even know you don’t have them yet.
They will be there when you need them. Berating yourself will not make them appear any quicker. Quite the contrary, it will help you feel bad and make you more inclined to give up.
There are tools to life you do not have right now. You will have them when you need them.
By the way, you have tools you no longer need. It’s OK to let them go. [Read more…]