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You are here: Home / Archives for Scott's Rules

Are you controlled by “THEM”?

August 5, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The committee of They

“Should” is the word used by the invisible committee of “THEY” to run your life.

You know what it’s like,
“I should be thinner.”
“I should be a better parent.”
“I should have thought of that before.”

I should. I should. I should.

If you find yourself saying “I should,” you are under the control of the THEM. THEY use the word to put you in your place and to help you feel bad about yourself for not measuring up to an unrealistic standard.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, goals, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Relationships, Scott's Rules, Self Talk Tagged With: happiness, life balance, negative self talk, perfectionism, quality of life, self esteem, should

Video: Getting Started and Getting Organized

January 17, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In this five minute video, Scott “Q” Marcus provides practical steps to get organized and to set effective goals.

Filed Under: Overcoming Obstacles, planning, resolutions, Scott's Rules, Video Tagged With: goals, video

Overcome Procrastination by Overcoming Perfectionism

December 5, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Strive to get better – not perfect.

Perfection is an impossible goal.

Attempting to be perfect – in effect – trying to “do it all” is not only a barrier to actually getting things done, in many ways, it’s an excuse we use to avoid doing them.

After all, if you get up in the morning and are so overwhelmed with everything you have to accomplish, isn’t your first thought to pull the blankets back over your head and “wait until tomorrow?”

Beyond that, if we KNOW that our definition of success is to “get it all done” and we KNOW that objective is impossible, why would we even begin to move forward? The result of our “failure” is that we’ll get to feel bad in the end. Therefore, since we’re going to feel bad anyway, we might as well not go through the effort in the first place.

Set your goal to “do more,” not “do it all.” Find small measures of success and continue forward.

Forget perfectionism; it’s actually hurting you.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: mental health, Motivation, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Procrastination, Productivity, Scott's Rules Tagged With: change, excuse, failure, impossible goal, negative self talk, objective, perfectionism, procrastination

Handling Conflict Better

March 28, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In conflict, begin each sentence with “I feel…” rather than “You did…”

Don’t interrupt during the reply.

Everything seems crazy these days.

That’s causing us to feel overwhelmed, overloaded, and stressed out; the perfect combination to get us into disagreements with the people we care about and those with whom we work.

Should you find yourself in that most unhappy state, it’s important to remember that the main thing is to get resolution, not to “one up” the other. (After all, how well do you react when someone tries to “one up” you?”)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Conflict Management, Current Events, Member Benefits, Motivational Monday, Scott's Rules Tagged With: conflict, disagreements, fair fighting, reply, stress, stressful times, unhappy state

5 Things You Can Do to be Happier & More Successful Starting NOW

January 20, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Improving oneself is not difficult. It might be uncomfortable. It might be slow; but difficult? Not so much. Figure out what you want to change; figure out a way to do it, move in that direction, correct as necessary.

So why don’t most people change?

Our problem is we make it too complicated. Some of the reasons we do that include:

  • We think simplicity means lack of drive
  • We are setting ourselves up for failure to get people to leave us alone (read related post)
  • We think it will get us there faster

In reality, the simpler we make it, the more likely we will achieve it. We have built our lives over years with patterns and habits to fill our days. It’s as if we have built a brick fortress around us. If we try and make too many changes, we have to knock out huge sections of the fortress; we won’t do that. If we can just rearrange a few bricks, we’re more likely to fit that in (read related post here).

So, with that in mind, I offer a very simple Five-Step Plan to make change now.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Excuses, Failure, goals, Group Support, Habits, Health, Member Benefits, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, planning, Procrastination, Psychology, resolutions, Scott's Rules, Success Tagged With: failure, goal setting, health, making change, planning, simplicity, small steps

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