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You are here: Home / Archives for priorities

She Attended Over 100 Funerals – And Found Life

August 29, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I am delivering a eulogy of a close friend this week.

I know it’s an honor; albeit one I’d prefer not to have. Instead of standing in front of a room commemorating the accomplishments and celebrating his life, I’d rather be talking with him over lunch at the Marina. Alas, ‘tis not a choice. We take what’s given.

According to statistics, the average 40-year-old will have attended ten funerals by that age.

Of course, it increases where – if you’re so fortunate to celebrate your 90th tour around the sun, you will attend no fewer than 50. I guess that makes me “lucky” in some fashion, since I can count those I’ve attended on one hand.

Although not backed by data that I could find, I assume most people attend memorials as a tribute to the one who passed, as a means to support the family, and/or as a ritual of closure. I highly doubt – with the exception of the two primary characters in the 1971 dark comedy, Harold and Maude – anyone attends because they enjoy it.

We do what we can to avoid them; very few of us have what it takes to continually be subjected to so many painful losses.

Until not too long ago, I would have said that none of us do.

That was prior to meeting a middle-aged foster mother from the South.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, family, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Tribute Tagged With: aging, attitude, death of a loved one, inspiration, loss, priorities, relationships

Where do WE go Now That the 2016 Elections Are Over?

November 14, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

I rarely wade into the political arena for a variety of reasons:

  • That’s not what my Monday Memo is about
  • It brings the trolls out in droves
  • I’m “conflict resistant” and don’t like arguing
  • As important as political discourse is, lately it seem like it’s just plain “icky”

Having said that, elections have consequences and here we sit, almost one week out, with a new president-elect.

Half of the country is optimistic, the other half is despondent. One half feels that we have found our way back, while their counterparts fear for the future. No matter how you cut it, the country is laid raw, exposed, split half and half. (I will not state who I voted for so don’t ask – and that’s not what today’s comments are about anyway.)

The question is, “What do WE do NOW?”

Some on the victorious side of the election shout, “We won! Get over it!” while many on the opposite side are protesting with chants such as “Not my president.” Although it might not seem like it at first glance, but these are the opening of lines of communication. Granted, it’s not a warm and fuzzy channel, but both sides are speaking – and while not necessarily trying to speak with each other, they’re being heard.

The way I see it, there are some realities that need to be addressed:

  • Barring some sort of seismic political earthquake, love it or hate it, Mr. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States come January 20, 2017
  • No matter what happens, there will continue to be detractors and supporters of his presidency
  • Neither side will “vanish” nor be silenced
  • Both sides will continue to work for their agendas
  • Neither side will simply “give up”

Accepting those, as we begin this new era, the first question we must all ask of ourselves is “What is MY intention for the future as we move forward?”

Without intention, we are rudderless, adrift.

For example, if the intention is “Let’s block everything that President Trump does,” the resultant communication – and its actions – will lead us down one path. If our intention is, “Show the ‘losers’ whose in charge now,” that will also have repercussions. However, if the intention is, “Let’s find a way to agree on what we can while politically fighting that where we don’t,” other options will make themselves known.

It’s certainly not a guarantee of success; but lack of intention is surely a guarantee for more conflict for decades to come.

We’re all (hopefully) going to be here for quite some time. Neither side will eradicate the other. Aiming to push, shove, or bully those with whom we might disagree will only prolong this chasm we see between us. Worse yet, there are real-life implications: millions and millions or our fellow human beings (both within and outside of the U.S.) will be hurt, further expanding the divide, making it yet harder to heal (which I assume is a goal of most).

I believe in “compassion first.”

Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean “give in,” but it does mean that first and foremost, I will treat each and every person neither as my superior nor inferior. I will strive  in all my communication with those with whom I disagree, to lay a bedrock of respect, seeking first to understand the motives without judgment. I’m not fooling myself (I hope) I know it won’t always be easy, but – to me – it’s the only path forward.

I hope you’ll join me.

Filed Under: Communicating, Current Events, Intentions, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Special Tagged With: attitude, better relationships, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, frustration, political discourse, politicians, politics, priorities, resolutions

We are each the Hub of Our Life

August 3, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s essential to take time for YOU.

Taking Time for What's Important

There is an acronym for when you’re most inclined to engage in bad habits.

It’s called “HALT.”

Whatever “bad” habit you have is most inclined to be activated when you are: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Motivational Monday Tagged With: family, priorities, quality of life, stress, take time, taking time, taking time for oneself, tired

Yes, it Could Go Badly…

August 13, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Two huge news stories rocked my world this week.

The first involved a powerful video featuring CNN’s senior international correspondent, Ivan Watson, as he reported from a helicopter flying to Mount Shingal in Northern Iraq. Their mission was to drop supplies to those trapped there. Upon touching down, the aircraft was besieged with hordes of people, so desperate to escape that they were throwing children on board in what Mr. Watson accurately described as “chaotic” and “crazy.”

As they flew back over the front line, with the rat-tat-tat of machine guns firing at the enemy below, the civilians on board were covering their ears, many sobbing uncontrollably, eventually changing to tears of joy as they reached their destination.

Roll forward a few hours.

My son texted me,

“I know you are a big Robin Williams fan. He passed away apparently due to suicide. Beyond sad.”

Again I was surprised as I felt tears well up. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Baby Boomers, Current Events, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Newspaper Column Tagged With: cnn, depression, family, inspiration, iraq, priorities, quality of life, robin williams, suicide, thankfulness, top priorities, what matters

Don’t Break Bad Habits, Bend Them

July 28, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Bend,” rather than “break” your habit.

woman-bending-backwards

Breaking a bad habit can be difficult. There’s no two ways about it.

So, if you’re tried over and over and over again to break a habit, and it just doesn’t seem to be happening, try “bending” the habit. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Habits, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Productivity Tagged With: goals, priorities, quality of life, time management, top priorities, work life balance

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