This Time I Mean It

Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

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Where do WE go Now That the 2016 Elections Are Over?

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I rarely wade into the political arena for a variety of reasons:

  • That’s not what my Monday Memo is about
  • It brings the trolls out in droves
  • I’m “conflict resistant” and don’t like arguing
  • As important as political discourse is, lately it seem like it’s just plain “icky”

Having said that, elections have consequences and here we sit, almost one week out, with a new president-elect.

Half of the country is optimistic, the other half is despondent. One half feels that we have found our way back, while their counterparts fear for the future. No matter how you cut it, the country is laid raw, exposed, split half and half. (I will not state who I voted for so don’t ask – and that’s not what today’s comments are about anyway.)

The question is, “What do WE do NOW?”

Some on the victorious side of the election shout, “We won! Get over it!” while many on the opposite side are protesting with chants such as “Not my president.” Although it might not seem like it at first glance, but these are the opening of lines of communication. Granted, it’s not a warm and fuzzy channel, but both sides are speaking – and while not necessarily trying to speak with each other, they’re being heard.

The way I see it, there are some realities that need to be addressed:

  • Barring some sort of seismic political earthquake, love it or hate it, Mr. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States come January 20, 2017
  • No matter what happens, there will continue to be detractors and supporters of his presidency
  • Neither side will “vanish” nor be silenced
  • Both sides will continue to work for their agendas
  • Neither side will simply “give up”

Accepting those, as we begin this new era, the first question we must all ask of ourselves is “What is MY intention for the future as we move forward?”

Without intention, we are rudderless, adrift.

For example, if the intention is “Let’s block everything that President Trump does,” the resultant communication – and its actions – will lead us down one path. If our intention is, “Show the ‘losers’ whose in charge now,” that will also have repercussions. However, if the intention is, “Let’s find a way to agree on what we can while politically fighting that where we don’t,” other options will make themselves known.

It’s certainly not a guarantee of success; but lack of intention is surely a guarantee for more conflict for decades to come.

We’re all (hopefully) going to be here for quite some time. Neither side will eradicate the other. Aiming to push, shove, or bully those with whom we might disagree will only prolong this chasm we see between us. Worse yet, there are real-life implications: millions and millions or our fellow human beings (both within and outside of the U.S.) will be hurt, further expanding the divide, making it yet harder to heal (which I assume is a goal of most).

I believe in “compassion first.”

Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean “give in,” but it does mean that first and foremost, I will treat each and every person neither as my superior nor inferior. I will strive  in all my communication with those with whom I disagree, to lay a bedrock of respect, seeking first to understand the motives without judgment. I’m not fooling myself (I hope) I know it won’t always be easy, but – to me – it’s the only path forward.

I hope you’ll join me.

Achieving Any Resolution or Goal

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Alien monster making resolutionsEach December, as the year comes to a close, most of us start to evaluate where we are in life. We think about how we live and what we would like to change in the upcoming year. Then, we make New Year’s resolutions, resolving to deliberately implement the changes we want to see. Unfortunately, that’s as close as most of us get to achieving these goals. After the champagne toasts and the midnight kisses, we go back to business as usual, and don’t even remember our resolutions until February or later, which is obviously the wrong time of year to start implementing change by society’s standards.

But there are ways to take initiative and achieve some of the goals you set for yourself any time of the year, not just the end or beginning. After all, you don’t need a new year to make a new you.  [Read more…]

February Resolutions

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One can always tell the time of year by the dominant color at the greeting-card stores.

Starting with Spring, we begin the pastel season. We advance without delay into the “red, white, and blue” period; followed by “Orange and Black;” with a brief flurry of “Brown, Red, Orange and Forest Green” in November. (The colors for the latter part of the year shift quickly because the “Red Green” season dominates everything.) We conclude this colorful journey with the “RED!

RED! RED!” season, a period into which we are now firmly ensconced.

Aside from romance, this time of year also sadly signifies a type of break-up; the ending of well-intentioned resolutions proudly and honorably stated just four short weeks ago.

Resolutions expired

I have never been a big fan of resolutions. I’ve never done them; I don’t think I ever will. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely firmly believe that making commitments and setting goals are essential if I want to direct the changes in my life. I also don’t have a problem in the world with making them in January. I mean, sure, why not? January’s as good as any month.

But that’s the point: January’s as good as any month. Why do we feel that if we “blow it” in January, we can’t reestablish them some other time? Why not put forth a “February commitment;” or honor the father of our country’s honesty with a “George Washington Day Promise;” or pick Valentine’s Day to state my “love-myself-enough-to-change” vows? Granted, they might sound ridiculous; but are those dates of any less value than January 1?

Choosing goals basically because it’s a “that time of year” (and that’s when everybody does them) makes us less inclined to achieve them. Why? Because they’re not driven by an inner aspiration, but rather forced by external dynamics.

Long-term change (does any other type matter?) must be borne from within, not pushed upon us by outside forces. Yes, external drivers, such as weighing a certain amount, not fitting into your clothes, crossing a landmark age, going through a break-up, or losing a job; can be powerful triggers. Each will get you moving, for sure. But, once the initial pain has diminished, so does the drive to continue the very behavior which caused its dissipation.

[Read more…]

Understanding Your Motivation

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Before changing, establish what matters.

‘Tis the time of year for change! (Actually any time is the time for change…) Right now, we are besieged with “resolution-mania.” The question on everyone’s lips is “What are you resolutions?” We look more critically at ourselves in the mirror. We imagine losing weight, exercising more, getting more fit, improving our relationships.There is nothing wrong with deciding to change. Actually, it’s probably one of the healthier things you can.

The problem is not figuring out “why” before you start.

Before you decide to move forward and re-arrange your life and the lives of everyone else around you, ask yourself one simple question:

“Why do I want to change this?”

Why did I ever decide to do this?

If the answer includes the word, “Should,” (such as “I should be thinner,” or “I should make more money) disregard it. You will never stick with it. However, if the answer is, “I want to…” or “I need to…” (and “I’m willing to…”), then pick a small goal, and start immediately.

Knowing “why” you’re changing can be important as “what” you’re changing.

Understand your intention and take the first step!

(Want a free downloadable goal planner? Follow this link.)

[Read more…]

Failing to Plan

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Failure to plan is planning to fail.

It might be a little cliche, but the sentiment is true. We say we’ll get everything done and we really mean it. (Sound like the name of a website?) But the reality is that life has its own patterns – and life is better about getting us off-track than we will ever be about getting it to conform to what we want.

Especially now at the beginning of a new year, block out some time to plan where you want to go. Make a schedule and do your best to stick to it.

It won’t work out the way you expect it – but it will be a lot closer to it than doing nothing.

[Read more…]

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Scott "Q" Marcus 707 834.4090 scottq@thistimeimeanit.com

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