Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
No two people, whether co-workers, friends, or life partners; will always agree. Therefore, there will be times when you will be at loggerheads.
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Many want to share their thoughts or feelings about what I have written. Most times it’s by email, once in awhile by telephone, and periodically in person.
Some folks seem drawn to anyone in the media as moths go to light. This is flattering but can be, at times, well, just plain weird. I’ve been approached about government meat conspiracies, high fructose corn syrup alternative energy systems, even a faster-than-light engine (no, I don’t know how it was tied to my column). If cornered publicly with such theories, I momentarily feign attention, smile awkwardly, mumble an apologetic excuse about “a guy I’m supposed to meet,” and carefully; very, very slowly; back away.
There are those who offer to me the secret “they” don’t want “us” to know about weight loss — for a price of course. I am cynical about “secrets they don’t want us know.” For one, who are “they?” Secondly, why would they deem you to be the ultimate messenger of such vital intelligence? Moreover, are you putting us in harm’s way by passing it along? I would feel miserable knowing that — although I now lose weight quicker — it was at the cost of your life. Actually, I’d feel so darn guilty; I’d probably eat too much, gain back my weight and make your magnanimous (albeit mercenary) gesture to have been in vain.
I’m not a therapist; heck, I’m not even sure I could be “Dear Abby.” But if my words touch someone so deeply that they seek me out for guidance, I’ll do my best.
If you cannot “do business” together, you won’t be able to live together. Conversely, if it’s all business, it feels like you’ve never left the job – and who needs that?
Take time every day to make sure you work well together and that you spend time together.
(Yes, we lead busy lives, but if we cannot take 20 minutes a day for the most important person in our lives, than is he or she really that important to us?)
When is there time? You both work eight hours a day, the kids have five hours of homework, you have to make dinner, find an hour to exercise, run errands, get your daughter to soccer and your son to band practice… all while making sure there’s gas in the car and food in the fridge.
By the time you get into bed at night, the last thing either one of you is thinking about is romance.
A hot shower and bed before 10 p.m. is probably the most romantic thing you can imagine right now. But maybe you’re thinking about romance the wrong way. And if you are, it could be damaging your marriage.
Being independent means being able to get along and function on your own without needing anyone else’s help nor approval. It also means you are open to hearing other’s ideas and to learning better ways to move forward.
However, being stubborn means insisting that you know how to do what you do irrespective of evidence or offered support; even if it’s not getting the best results. Stubbornness means you’re more determined to get your way rather than get it done well. In reality, stubbornness harms relationships and holds you back.
It’s a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it. It’s a sign of maturity to recognize when you need the help.
Recognize them. Get help.