When it comes to raising kids, the last thing on most married peoples’ minds is intimacy.
When is there time? You both work eight hours a day, the kids have five hours of homework, you have to make dinner, find an hour to exercise, run errands, get your daughter to soccer and your son to band practice… all while making sure there’s gas in the car and food in the fridge.
By the time you get into bed at night, the last thing either one of you is thinking about is romance.
A hot shower and bed before 10 p.m. is probably the most romantic thing you can imagine right now. But maybe you’re thinking about romance the wrong way. And if you are, it could be damaging your marriage.
Being Intimate Comes In Many Forms
When I say “intimacy,” I’m sure the first thing you think of is sex. And while every marriage needs physical intimacy to survive, it’s not the only way to keep the flames burning in your relationship. In fact, when a couple has been married for some time—especially when they’re raising children together—physical intimacy actually takes a back burner to emotional and intellectual intimacy.
If we’re being honest, the physical intimacy is easy. It comes pretty naturally, and it’s generally easy for the two of you to feel out the “right” time.
But emotional and intellectual intimacy don’t come as easily. Learning how to stoke them, though, is the ideal way to make sure you’re marital connection stays alive.
Get Sweaty Together, Outside The Bedroom
Taking your physical health by the reigns is one of the sexiest moves you can make in your marriage, and kicking your spouse’s butt into shape with you is the perfect way to ramp up the emotional connection between the two of you.
Humans have a primal need to be nurtured, which includes an attraction to the people who care for us. In many sources found in The Beyond Diet Program reviews, success stories have the commonality of a strong support group as the backbone of getting their health and wellness into check.
Sign up for a hot yoga class with your spouse, or get into the habit of running a couple miles a day with each other. Find a way to encourage and support one another to get, and stay healthy, lose weight if needed, maintain discipline, and you’ll find the intimacy in your relationship heating up to previously unreached temperatures.
Support Each Other’s Decisions
Married couples often butt heads over decisions. Whether they’re choosing a summer camp for the kids, negotiating allowance rates, or selecting a new car, married people can forget that they’re two separate, sentient beings with very different wants, needs, and opinions.
In order to keep the spark alive in your marriage, you need to be each other’s biggest supporter. Sometimes, this will mean giving ground on an issue. Sometimes, it will mean standing up for your spouse when they’re facing an issue they can’t solve alone. And sometimes, it will mean making a decisions for your spouse and accepting their reaction if they’re not please.
To keep the throes of marital doldrums from overtaking your relationship, you need to be strong for one another.
Pick Each Other’s Brains
In order to stay together, you need to grow together. Reading a book at the same time or taking a cooking class will give you an opportunity to expand your knowledge together, moving forward at the same pace.
The biggest failure a couple can make is to allow themselves to grow apart. As you grow older, your interests will grow, too, and you’ll have two choices: indulge each other’s new passions, or allow each other to move toward what intrigues you, alone.
If you chose the latter road, you’ll both grow into strong, independent people, and likely find yourselves feeling like strangers to one another.
But if you go with option one, encouraging each other’s curiosities, you’ll not only grow strong and independent, you’ll grow into each other’s best friend in the world.
You married one another because you loved who each other was—inside and out. Keeping that spark alive isn’t easy, but if you think your marriage is worth keeping alive—which, chances are, you do!— it’s beyond worth it.
About the author: Dr. Mike Tremba is very fortunate to have worked with many child-rearing couples. Through his interactions, he has learned uncommon tips for very common concerns regarding eating well, weight loss, and having vibrant, productive relationships. his Truth About Six Pack Abs reviews are a testament to his passion for helping others.