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You are here: Home / Archives for long term relationship

5 Rules for a Happy Marriage

March 30, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

older couple on rocker

I am now the father of two married sons.

Until last week, I was the father of one married son and one engaged son. Last weekend, the elder Marcus and his fiancée exchanged vows at a lovely ceremony filled with joy, laughter and happy tears (most of which were mine). Toasts were made. Shouts of “mazel tov” rang from the ceiling. Well wishes were abundant. I’m sure they’re going to do really well.

However, that’s not the case for so many. As I learned many years ago,

“Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Of those that remain, 90 percent end in boredom. If you want to be the five percent that stay happy, it’s going to take some work.”

To that end, I’ve looked back on over two decades of being in a happy, supportive marriage with my lovely, talented, creative (very patient) wife and I pass along my own take on how to stay married – and happy – over the long term.

Rule #1: Love your partner for who she is today, not whom you think you can make her into “down the road.”

Assume she is as good a partner as she’ll ever be RIGHT NOW. Don’t believe that living together will make her “come around” to your thinking. If she has what you consider annoying traits, don’t make the blunder of thinking how you’ll change them after you’re married. Accept her as she is; not who you’ll think she’ll be. If she’s not who you desire now, she sure as heck won’t be later.

Rule #2: Realize that there are three — not two — entities in your relationship.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Relationships Tagged With: better relationships, close relationships, dysfunctional marriage, good relationship, long term relationship, marriage, relationships, weddings

Video: An Older Couple Gives Love Advice

December 19, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

An older couple discusses with a younger couple what has kept them together – and passes along some great advice.

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Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Relationships, Video Tagged With: close relationships, good relationship, happy life, long term relationship, love, love and happiness, video, what matters, what really matters

Video: Love Song for 75-Year Marriage

November 19, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Each of us wants to have that “one special relationship.”

Few of us are lucky enough to find it.

This video will bring a tear to your eye and hope to your heart.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Relationships, Video Tagged With: long term relationship

How Much Work Does Your Relationship Require?

July 29, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If your long term relationship seems like all work and no play for a long time, it’s in trouble.

couple-at-restaurant-bag-on-head
On the other hand, if it’s all play and no work for a long time, it’s not real – and it won’t last when things get tough. (And all relationships have tough times.)

Honest adult relationships are about 80% companionship and 20% business.

If you cannot “do business” together, you won’t be able to live together. Conversely, if it’s all business, it feels like you’ve never left the job – and who needs that?

Take time every day to make sure you work well together and that you spend time together.

(Yes, we lead busy lives, but if we cannot take 20 minutes a day for the most important person in our lives, than is he or she really that important to us?)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, family, Motivational Monday, planning, Relationships Tagged With: adult relationships, attitude, better relationships, coaching service, companionship, life balance, long term relationship, relationships, weight loss, work

Talk Time for Healthy Relationships

July 23, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I learned in therapy this simple technique to help keep your relationship strong.

Take 10-20 minutes every day for “Talk Time.”

talk time

During that period, ask each other these questions:

  • What did I do today that you liked?
  • What did I do today that you would prefer I do not do again?
  • Is there anything I can do tomorrow to help you out? (Then, make a commitment to get it done by a certain agreed-to date.)

Give each other a hug – and then go about your day.

Many people say 10-20 minutes is not enough. However, if they were to honestly look at their days, they’d realize that most people spend far less time than that with “quality time.” This will get you going. You can always add more.

And, if you think you’re too busy and 10-20 minutes is too much time, what are saying about what’s really important?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Relationships Tagged With: good relationship, healthy relationships, long term relationship, quality time, relationship, talk time

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