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Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

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You are here: Home / Archives for health

Scared of my Shadow

March 1, 2023 by Scott "Q" Marcus

I have spent the last couple of months engaged in the most creative, expansive, complicated project this near-70-year-old body has ever experienced.

With the support, guidance, and loyalty of a couple of dozen actors and technicians, I was at the helm of a world-premiere fairy-tale, fantasy, live experience that debuted here in my hometown, written by – and co-directed with – my sister. From the birth of the concept until the final standing ovation and triumphant critical reviews, it has been an intensive, immersive, magnificent memory that I will take to my grave. I wish you a long enough life so that you can share the joy of an event like that before your time comes to an end.

This brings me to my point.

While swirling and spinning with arms outstretched among the fairy dust, magic wands, and magical characters of Never After Happily, the real world oozed through. Like a gelatinous, ominous, malevolent, sticky goo rising through the floorboards in a horror movie, I received the shocking news of the results of a medical test I recently took. It is indeed the dark, oppressive yin to my starry, colorful, brightly-lit, fantasy-miracle world of yang.

I thought about whether or not this was appropriate fodder for my column. Of course, after one has written a regular piece like this for almost 20 years, everything that happens has the potential to be the basis of one of my missives.  Yet, I hesitated because, well, is it a case of TMI to share my medical news with several thousand strangers? Is it anyone’s business aside from my family’s? Will they look at me differently? Does it matter?

Yet, the reality is that although we might never have met in person; you and I have not shared a cup of coffee or talked on the phone, or even exchanged text messages. We have not breathed deep the warmth of a shared hug or even smiled face to face as we passed each other on the street. Nonetheless, in my mind, you are family. I know not how you look. I have never heard the timbre of your voice, nor shaken your hand. However, when I write these words each week, I see you as clearly as the orange, blue, acrylic; star, planet, and comet mobile that hangs in my office. You are always with me.

With family, one shares.

So, to that end, my doctor wanted me to take a Cologuard test. At this age, that’s S.O.P. There was no advanced concern; I am not showing symptoms of colorectal distress. It’s just what one does at this age, realizing that there are fewer days in front than behind, and wanting to maximize the time we have left.

In my view, the only proper result for a medical test, is a bright red, circled “A+” emblazoned across the top of the page, the words, “Great Job!” handwritten nearby. It is certainly not to see the harsh declaration, “Positive – Abnormal,” in black and white on a computer screen.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Gratitude, Health, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, cancer, emotions, health, health care, medical costs

Seeing Clearly

May 12, 2021 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I am nearsighted.

Not your everyday, run-of-the-mill, I-can’t-see-the-bottom-line-on-the-eye-chart nearsighted; I instead am referring to objects further than six inches away appearing as a blurry mass. From the moment I rise until the last second before I go to bed, I must wear glasses. Should they fall and I can’t immediately find them, panic crushes me until I recover them. Without them, I am virtually blind. They feel as much a part of me as — quite literally — the nose on my face. I am fortunate however that my prescription allows correction to near perfection.

So, I became concerned when, of late, looking at light on dark, I have been experiencing “halos.”

Two examples: When the subtitles on the movie are white against black, the text is blurry. More problematic, when driving at night, although I can see clearly cars, roads, and signs; taillights and street lights lack the same crispness. It’s unnerving enough that I stopped going out after dark.

My father was a hypochondriac’s hypochondriac; he would solicit a second medical opinion when the doctor told him he was healthy. I don’t mean to make light of it; I point it out to somewhat explain my resistance to going to doctors; an irrational backlash to not being my dad. Therefore, for me to visit an eye specialist over my symptoms will shed some light (um, no pun intended) on how seriously I took this change in my vision and resultant alteration to my lifestyle.

If this scenario sounds familiar, you know where I’m going. If not, the cause of my optical degradation is cataracts. According to the Mayo Clinic, “A cataract is a clouding of the normally clear lens of your eye. For people who have cataracts, seeing through cloudy lenses is a bit like looking through a frosty or fogged-up window. Clouded vision caused by cataracts can make it more difficult to read, drive a car (especially at night) or see the expression on a friend’s face.” Approximately 200,000 people per year in the U.S. suffer from them.

This week was my pre-op appointment.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Gratitude, Health, Inspiration, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, aging process, doctors, health, road trip, surgery, travel

We Will Adapt

September 9, 2020 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

photo of orange skies from northcoast journal

Photo was taken from www.northcoastjournal.com. Click on the image to be taken to the story.

Today was supposed to be a sunny warm day on the beautiful north coast of California.

you know, that part of the country known for majestic redwoods; rocky coastlines; Victorian buildings, and breezy blue heavens. Yet, instead of light gusts and azure skies, the atmosphere is strangled by a thick, putrid orange-brown, which is holding back the light from getting through. House lights are on yet darkness swallows us. I have to remind myself that this is not night; it’s lack of light. Because of the gloom, I keep thinking any moment will rise the sun and the skies will clear.

Alas, not today. This is the day of the dark.

I know I’ve said it a gazillion times. I know virtually everyone else has too. But 2020 is a year for the record books. This chapter in time makes the tumult and turmoil of 1968 seem like a fairy tale compared to what we face these days.

It’s hard to remember that as the year began, the biggest points of contention were political: a couple of dozen Democratic candidates vying for the presidency; an investigation into the president; and the subsequent impeachment. We were divided. We were angry.

News of a pandemic began its spread in late winter; come March, our vocabulary included terms previously unknown: social distancing and self-isolate. We secluded ourselves. We were scared.

We did our best to adapt.

The economy and stock market collapsed. Events of every nature were canceled. Workers were laid off, companies shuttered, food lines returned; it was a flashback to the great depression a century ago. We were alarmed.

We adapted as well as we could.

Countless millions the globe over, took to the streets to proclaim black lives matter and protest the deaths at the hands of police of black men; “Karen” became a meme of privilege. We were outraged.

And again, we adapted.

If you’re old enough to read, you’re old enough to remember everything else that has happened this year; almost 200,000 dead Americans and millions of infected fellow citizens; voter suppression; super-spreader events; hurricanes and floods; accelerated climate change couple with the hottest day on record; bringing us to today’s fires. As fall approaches, we are warned of election tampering and more violence. Oh yes, come winter the pandemic will bring with it the winter flu.

“Apocalypse” has been thrown around like a water balloon on a hot summer day. One might say it’s overused. However, it feels like the end-of-days is right around the corner. These are undoubtedly unmatched times. None of us have lived through a pandemic nor experienced an economic crash of this magnitude. Only those of us that are older have been through this much social upheaval. Climate change has never been so dire. Needless to say, the combination of all is indeed “unprecedented,” another over-used but accurate word.

It’s difficult to keep the choking fear at bay. Although I’m not an angry person, I find myself mad almost all the time; wishing desperately to blame someone, something – anything – for this B-quality horror flick in which I find myself. If this was a script, it would never have been green-lit. “No one will believe this,” would have been the studio execs response.

However, we are here and we must yet again adapt.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Hope, Inspiration, News, Newspaper Column Tagged With: compassion, fear, health, inspiration, stress, wildfires

If I Could: A Prayer for Healing

July 29, 2020 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If I could, I’d wash away the sadness.

I would wrap you in my arms and hold you against me, pressed against my chest. I would protect you from everything that makes you unhappy and reduces your spirit. Gently, I’d wipe away the tears and hold gently your head between my hands, looking you deep in the eyes, reminding you without words that I am with you no matter what comes. We’d embrace again, a little too long; yet as we pulled apart, we’d eke out delicate smiles as we went our separate ways for the day, confident in the awareness that we’d be together safely again come evening.

If it was up to me, I’d banish the fear.

Standing bullishly, steel-tower upright and strong; arms crossed over my chest, facing into the bleak; I’d defend you as you stood behind me. Nothing would pass to bring you agony. No harm could penetrate. An invisible shield lovingly guarding you from all that might bring to you hurt, or cause you to cower fearfully in the dark places. The soft, bright, warm glow of inner strength would flood over you until you again could stand tall beside me. At that point, arm-in-arm, the two of us would face the day, supported by each other, looking forward to the future once again.

If it was in my power, I’d eliminate the worries.

I would keep us in the present, realizing all that happened has gone and what is yet to come is powerless until it appears. We would rejoice in the Now, infused with the awareness that, in this moment, at this point in time, despite the maelstrom that swirls around us near and far, we are safe and secure and together. Remembering that this moment is all we have; for the past cannot be changed and the future is still a formless shadow. Anxiety would subside. We’d breathe deeply again, filling our lungs with peaceful calm, and savor the perfect moment of the here and now.

If there was a way to accomplish it, I’d heal away the illness.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Happiness, Hope, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: covid, covid 19, happiness, healing, health, Hope, list of wishes

Making Change Stick: The Five Levels of Habit Change

June 24, 2020 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They’re like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn’t working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it’s so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain. No one wakes up thinking, “I love my life! Let me see how I can change it.” We change because we see no alternative and because the “old system” wasn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe the times are different. Maybe we’re different. But something must adjust, and sadly it’s us. Being inspired to change by “negative” feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we’re not thinking clearly, to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we’re going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which “I see.”

Let’s say you’ve decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don’t change the next level: Behaviors, that which “I do.”

If I don’t modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of “forgetting” to wear one.

“But, I can’t keep remembering to put masks all around my house,” you might reply.

Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you “can” or “cannot” do.

Your perceived – and that’s the operative word – Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade. If your internal dialog is, “I don’t have time to do this,” or “I have too much else to do,” you’ll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four.

Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not. They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that “masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind” (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift…), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed manage a couple of masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, the Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits return. If my Belief changes to “I feel it’s important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward,” Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can’t really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them.

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following “I am…”

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of “Romantic” is certainly welcome and appropriate when it’s my wife, yet I would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now overworn mask tale, if my Identity is “I am too busy to deal with this,” my Belief might be “this is ridiculous;” yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to “I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus,” then Beliefs correct to “I feel it’s important to figure out a way to do this.” My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

About the author: Scott “Q” Marcus is a professional speaker and founder of www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, where he can be contacted for coaching, consulting, and presentations. During this social distancing period, he is conducting monthly on-line workshops on setting goals and getting past what holds you back. If you would like a free graphic of this topic or to know more about his workshops, go to www.ThisTimeIMeanit.com/handout

Filed Under: Articles, Beliefs, goals, Habits, Newspaper Column, Psychology Tagged With: behaviors, capabilities, change, changing habits, environment, habit change, health, identity, lifestyle change

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