Accepting Compliments Helps Avoid Bad Habits

July 18, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

A compliment denied is punishment self-inflicted.”

We are very quick to beat ourselves up – and incredibly slow to congratulate ourselves. We also tend to dismiss it when others do, by showing off our “big but.” You know…

A friend says, “Wow! You look like you’ve lost a whole lot of weight! You look great!”

We reply, “Yeah, but, I’ve got so far to go.”

Or, someone says, “You are a great mom! I can’t believe how well you take care of your children.”

And again, “Yeah, but, you should have seen me last week. I was like a banshee.”

There is a tremendous difference between being proud of what we do and being conceited. Each time we deny a compliment — or beat ourselves up over a mistake – we avoid the opportunity to feel good. That engages our habit (whether that be eating, drinking, smoking, stress…) and we end up feeling worse, furthering the drive to engage in the habit.

Remember, if guilt & shame were motivational, we’d all be happier, healthier, and more successful.

Enjoy a compliment this week – and pass one on.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Finding Positive Intent

June 27, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There is positive intention behind every behavior.

Everything we do is driven by the desire to make our lives easier, better, or in some way enhanced. Most of the time, it’s a small thing. Periodically, it’s a large thing.

Even when you do something this is NOT helpful, the underlying goal was to make your life better. For example, if you eat too much, your goal is to find some joy, deal with stress, or feel comforted (as examples). However, the way you’re accomplishing those objectives is counterproductive long-term to what you want in the short term. [Read more…]

How to Overcome Procrastination

June 20, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

You don’t need to do it ALL.

When you’re overwhelmed, pick one thing and do it RIGHT NOW.

At times, we can get overloaded by how much we have to do. The natural reaction to that emotional state is to shut down and do nothing, which of course, makes the problem worse.

When you feel that way, ask yourself, “What’s ONE thing I can do RIGHT NOW to help me move forward?”

Do that. Don’t overplan. Just keep it simple and make it so small that you’ll actually do it right now. It will help you make some headway – and the feeling of empowerment that comes from moving forward will probably inspire you to do more.

To read a full length article on the “Think 1st” system to overcome procrastination, go to http://www.scottqmarcus.com/articles/Articles/GettingUnstuck.html

Special bonus: if you’d like to hear a fun ten-minute audio of a presentation I did on this very topic, you can go to MarcusStrivingImprefection10Minutes

How to Stop Putting Yourself Down

June 13, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Don’t let your “Big But” get in the way of rewarding yourself.

This one might take a little explaining…

We are great about insulting ourselves and not so good about complimenting ourselves. For example, a co-worker points out that you did a great job dealing with a difficult customer. Instead of saying, “Thank you,” we say, “Yeah, BUT, I really wanted to lay into her.”

A friend notices your parenting skills and comments, “You are a wonderful mom!” You say, “Yeah, BUT, you should have seen me last night.”

Or your spouse says, “You’re looking great. It looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.” You reply, “Yeah, BUT, I cheated all week.”

What’s with that? Why do we have such a hard time accepting compliments?

By denying what we do well, we feel bad. When we feel bad, we engage in habits that make us feel better. Those are usually the habits that hold us back. So, each time we put ourselves down, we increase the likelihood that we will hold ourselves back.

A compliment denied is punishment self inflicted. It’s not conceited to honor what you do well, it’s necessary. Try it (and make sure to find a reason to compliment others too).

Special bonus: if you’d like to hear a fun ten-minute audio of a presentation I did on this very topic, you can go to MarcusStrivingImprefection10Minutes

Staying Calm When Overloaded

June 6, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Organization creates calm.

Decisions terminate panic.

In today’s crazy-making, overly-busy, I’ve-got-too-much-to-do, running-around-with-our-hair-on-fire world, things can get a little out of control. Between trying to keep food on the table, take care of a family, handle other household responsibilities, stay in touch with friends, and, of course, find some time for yourself; it seems that we don’t get anything done and the more things pile up, the crazier we feel.

When that’s the case, there are two simple things you can do:

Pick a two-foot square section of your work area and straighten it up. That’s all. You don’t have to clean up everything, just a 2×2 square in front of you. Believe it or not, that will give you a sense of calm and a feeling of accomplishment.
Pick one thing that you will do RIGHT NOW and that you will take to completion. (Of course, it has to be a small thing.) Having a clear direction will help calm the “inner noise” that’ so loud when things seem out of control.

Remember, if you’re overwhelmed, it’s because you’re thinking too big and you’re not making effective priorities. These two tips will give you a budding sense of organization and a sense of calm.

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