There is positive intention behind every behavior.
Everything we do is driven by the desire to make our lives easier, better, or in some way enhanced. Most of the time, it’s a small thing. Periodically, it’s a large thing.
Even when you do something this is NOT helpful, the underlying goal was to make your life better. For example, if you eat too much, your goal is to find some joy, deal with stress, or feel comforted (as examples). However, the way you’re accomplishing those objectives is counterproductive long-term to what you want in the short term.
Don’t beat yourself up about your mistakes. After all, if guilt and shame were motivational, we’d all be happier. Rather, the next time you’re inclined to engage in a “bad” habit, look at it as trying to improve your life. Then, wait long enough to figure out what will do that – without the side effects.
(By the way, when someone else does something you find annoying, realize that he or she was also looking to find a way to make her life easier. Have some compassion when you think about that.)
Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.