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Monday Motivational Memo: How to Avoid Escalating a Disagreement

May 30, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Saying it louder doesn’t make it correct.

In the middle of a disagreement, we can get frustrated. When that happens, we might feel we’re not being heard so the natural reaction is to say it louder.

If you want to actually make your point, it might work better by slowing down and asking a few questions.

You will always resolve more problems and minimize hurt feelings by listening to someone instead of talking at them.

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Monday Motivational Memo: Overcoming Temptation

May 16, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

One of the reasons we fail to achieve what we want is we feel we have to give up so darn much to get it that it’s not worth it. For example, we say, “I’ll NEVER be able to go out to eat again,” or “I’m going to have to exercise EVERY DAY.”

The thought of doing something without end is daunting and overwhelming. When we’re overwhelmed is when our “bad” habits kick in at their strongest. (Remember a habit is designed to comfort us.) Therefore, we think, “What the heck, it’s just this once. I’ll be better tomorrow.” Before we know it, we’re back in our old routine.

What’s the solution?

Instead of thinking how you feel right now, ask yourself, “What behavior will help me feel good five minutes from now?” Or if you can, “What will make me feel good tomorrow morning?”

Slow yourself down for a few moments. THEN make a decision. Most of the time, you’ll choose the healthier option. And the key to success is to do it most of the time.

Overcome Setbacks

May 9, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Sometimes, things just don’t work out.

After setting ourselves back on the path toward our goal, many times, our inner perfectionist comes out and says, “I blew it! Well, as long as I blew it, I might as well really blow it. I can start again tomorrow (next week, next month, next year).”

That’s where the danger comes in. We have now given ourselves permission to do more damage.

Even if you “blow it” (by whatever definition you use for that term), the solution is in how fast you recover. We all make mistakes. Successful people actually make more of them. The difference is they recognize them as setbacks, get up, and move forward quickly.

When you slip up, simply remind yourself that the next thing you do can make it worse or start to fix it. Then, make the choice that will be helpful.

Monday Motivational Memo: Building Willpower

May 2, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Willpower is NOT the ability to say “NO.”

It’s the ability to say “Not right now.”

One of the biggest reasons we give up is we feel that it takes too much energy to resist whatever temptation we face. The thought of “going without” for long periods of time is daunting, overwhelming – and quite frankly – depressing.

The solution is to realize that willpower does not have to mean “forever,” it can simply mean “for the next few minutes.”

If you’re tempted to give up on your goals because you don’t feel you have the strength to stick with your plan, simply make a commitment that you’ll stick with it for the next ten minutes. That’s all. Most of the time, you’ll find the urge to give up passes in a few moments and before you know it, you’re back on track.

Keep Moving

April 25, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Small steps taken regularly generate more results than large steps done periodically.

In other words, it’s better to promise to walk a block and actually do it than to promise to run a mile and sleep in.

Most of the time that we fail to accomplish our goals, it’s because we made the process too cumbersome, unrealistic, or large. Since it would involve rearranging vast portions of an-already busy life, we choose to avoid the task, remaining in place.

Pick something smaller when you’re stuck and move forward on that. Any movement is better than stagnation.

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