In reality, habits do not just “happen.”
They are the end result of a chain consisting of thoughts which lead to feelings which lead to actions. If you wish to change the actions long-term, you must change your internal dialog first. [Read more…]
Believe in Yourself as Much as you Believe in Others
We are incredibly supportive of our friends and our family.
When they doubt themselves, we are easily able to inspire, encourage, and invigorate them up with all sorts of compliments. As importantly, we truly believe what we’re telling them too.
Yet, when we are talking about ourselves we are not as good of a friend.
I Think Therefore I Become
Next to my bed is a nightstand.
I presume that is a common arrangement in many bedrooms. Upon the shelf of the nightstand are many books; this too I assume is widespread.
Like me, I take for granted that many people have three categories of books populating their nightstands:
Some wait to be read. While at a bookstore, the concept between its covers was so striking that I plunked down money, thinking, “I will read that someday.” Alas, “someday” has yet to make its appearance. Being optimistic, I’m sure it will (probably about the same time as when “I get my act together”).
The second classification is books started but still unfinished. Maybe I lost interest, the story was not as expected, or simply “life kicked in.” I could give them away but feel like I betrayed them, (does co-dependence apply to books?) so I pledge to finish reading them in the future. Until that fateful moment, they too shall gather dust.
Finally comes the definitive category: Books completed. Residing here include authors such as Robert B. Parker, Dean Koonz, and Roger McBride Allen. Most are novels because I like to “escape.” However, there is one self-help book I have read over and over again. Although I do not buy into everything she says, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is infused with 210 pages of brilliantly simple wisdom (usually the best kind).
Hay’s philosophy, outlined in the foreword, includes:
- We are each responsible for our experiences
- Resentment, criticism, and guilt are damaging, and
- It’s only a thought, which can be changed.
Furthermore, says Hay, feelings are “thoughts that stick.”
Is Your Attitude Showing?
Your attitude shows – even if you think it’s hidden.
Don’t deny it; own up to it.
Others are already aware of it – even if you never say anything.
And don’t feel bad if it’s not “happy-clappy” all the time. After all, we all have our down days. After all, someone with a “positive attitude” is simply someone whose attitude is positive more times than it’s not.
Check your attitude regularly. If it’s not serving you, do a reset.
Remember, as difficult as it might be to adjust it, it’s YOUR attitude and you can let it control you – or you can control it.
Are you controlled by “THEM”?
“Should” is the word used by the invisible committee of “THEY” to run your life.
You know what it’s like,
“I should be thinner.”“I should be a better parent.”“I should have thought of that before.”
I should. I should. I should.
If you find yourself saying “I should,” you are under the control of the THEM. THEY use the word to put you in your place and to help you feel bad about yourself for not measuring up to an unrealistic standard.