This Time I Mean It

Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

  • Home
  • Change Habits
    • 21 Day Habit Change.com
  • Blog
    • Newspaper Column
    • Motivational Monday
  • Work With Scott
    • Meet Scott
    • Scott’s Powerful Fun Style
    • For Meeting Planners
    • Speaking Topics
    • What Conference Attendees Say
    • Book Scott to Speak
  • Shop
  • Meet Scott
  • Testimonials
  • Contact Us
    • Sign up for the FREE ezine
You are here: Home / Archives for willpower

Personal Confession

March 28, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Since I started writing these columns oh so long ago, I’ve had several objectives.

First, I wanted them to be of value to you; I didn’t want to vomit a bunch of words on a page assuming that merely because it’s in print, it’s worth your time. That’s delusional and ego-centric; I wish to be neither.

Next, I wanted them to inspire when needed and provide a laugh when possible.

Finally, and as important; they needed to be honest. In other words, I would be transparent, doing my best to be who I am really am so that the person you might meet on the street is the same guy you read in print. The way I look at, if shame was transformational, we’d all be soaring across the heavens. Take a look around, it doesn’t work.

Putting all that on the table, I was reticent about this piece because it’s something with which I’ve wrestled for too long, keeping it in a dark, backroom closet. Will you think less of me if I expose this to the sun? Will you wag your finger, shake your head judgmentally, tsk loudly, and say, “I’m so ashamed of you”? Odd, isn’t it, how that perceived — not necessarily actual — reactions weigh so heavily?

Finally, I decided, “Screw it. If that’s the way you’re going to be, there’s nothing I can do about it. Stick to my truth. After all, as the song says, ‘if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.’”

So, here goes.

I haven’t had anything with alcohol in it for a month.

There, I’ve said it. It’s in the world; no taking it back now. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, family, Group Support, Happiness, Health, Inspiration, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Relationships, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: alcohol, alcoholics, change, changing habits, habit change, happiness, lifestyle change, quality of life, self acceptance

Gratitude or Willpower? What’s More Effective?

January 24, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I know I say this a lot. As a matter of fact, I know you do too. So, say it with me, “I can’t believe January is over already.”

With one month down, so too are the majority of New Year’s Resolutions. Sadly, by the end of the first week of the first month, 30 percent of resolutions have gone the way of all flesh. Come year’s end, only eight percent remain; it’s therefore accurate to deduce that over 90 percent of us give up on our commitments by the time the ball drops on the next year. How frustrating.

There are a few reasons.

Most of us set vague goals.

For example, we say, “This year, I’m going to take better care of myself,” or “I’m going to lose weight,” or “stress less.” Intention positive? Yep. But without a specific action plan, it’s a nebulous, free-floating, hazy decree, dissipating as quickly as the fog which hugs the coast on a summer morning.

Another cause for failure is relying too much on the wrong definition of willpower, too often seen as our ability to white-knuckle bully our way through temptation.

Willpower is NOT the ability to take a long-term stand, plant our feet, cross our arms, and defiantly proclaim, “I won’t give in!” Rather, if we reframe the definition to, “I won’t give in THIS ONE TIME,” we alleviate much of the self-imposed pressure, upping the odds we’ll actually accomplish what we say we want.

Willingness to forgo short-term pleasure for a long-term benefit is rarely easy, and when stressed, tired, angry, or sad; it essentially puts us at odds with our own internal drive, paradoxically increasing the stressor and further eroding the potential for success. This causes self-flagellation and – in the end – we throw in the towel “until next year,” repeating yet again the hopeless cycle.

Backing this up are studies conducted by David DeSteno, professor of psychology at Northeastern University, and author of Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride. As he points out,

“Choosing to rely on rational analysis and willpower to stick to our goals, [is] disadvantaging ourselves … If using willpower to keep your nose to the grindstone feels like a struggle, that’s because it is. Your mind is fighting against itself. It’s trying to convince, cajole and, if that fails, suppress a desire for immediate pleasure.”

Professor DeSteno proposes that gratitude and compassion are more likely to yield valuable results because those emotions naturally lead us to be patient, which logically, increases the odds that we’ll stick with a task.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, goals, Gratitude, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Temptation, Relationships, Success, willpower Tagged With: attitude, better relationships, changing habits, gratitude, habit change, inspiration, lifestyle change, new year's resolutions, relationships, resolutions that stick, thankfulness, why resolutions fail

VIDEO: The Most Expensive Halloween Candy Ever

October 26, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus

This is a humorous take on why those half-price candy sales that are popping up about now are really not half price.

As a matter of fact, they are the most expensive treats you will ever buy. Watch the video and see why.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Holidays, humor, Motivational Monday, Video, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: all hallows eve, halloween candy, Halloween dieting, halloween night, holiday season, humor, self control, video

Live Your Life 10 Minutes in the Future

February 9, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

rocket-ship-and-planet

Although the best advice for a happy life is to “live in the NOW,” that doesn’t always apply.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, goals, Habits, Health, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: gratification, habit change, making change, patience, Think 1st

The Writer

December 19, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus

“I lost a whole lot of weight,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

Depressed Overweight Woman

No eye contact was made; instead she seemly excessively absorbed in staring at her shoes. “But now, not only have I put it back on, but I’ve added 20 more pounds. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I can’t stand to look in a mirror. I don’t know what to do.” The sadness she felt practically dripped from her pores.

“That’s got to be frustrating,” I replied.

“…and frightening too!” she added. “When’s it going to stop?”

“Good question,” I answered, “What seems to be the cause?”

“Well, I’m obviously eating too much.” She tried to make it sound like an “ain’t-it-obvious” joke but the pain was louder than her laugh.

“That’s what’s so embarrassing,” she continued. “I just don’t know. It seems like I start out every day with great intentions. The problem is I work near a little mom-and-pop bakery. They make the best cakes and pies. So, on my break, I’ll find myself buying just one small slice, saying I’ll control myself. The next thing I know, I’m like a machine that’s eats everything! Then my inner voice says, ‘Well as long as you blew it, you might as well really blow it. You can always start tomorrow’ and I really go crazy! Every day is just like the previous one; same broken promises, same result.”

She paused; the gold hoop earrings she wore swung slightly under her brown shoulder length hair as she collected her thoughts. Picking up her gaze, she asked, “What do you think I should do?”

I always find that a difficult question.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Diet, Excuses, Gratitude, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: changing habits, frustration, handling temptation, making change, sadness

Next Page »

Search the Site

Search Products

Blog Categories

Recent Posts

  • Scared of my Shadow
  • You are not who you think you were
  • Who are you? Are you sure?
  • Exasperating – the verb
  • Change your thinking, change your life.

Book An Appointment With Scott

Get a free coaching call by following this link. No obligation.

Contact Us Today

Scott "Q" Marcus
707 834.4090
scottq@thistimeimeanit.com
======
Join Scott's mailing list at http://eepurl.com/LsSIX

Product Categories

  • Accessories
  • Books
  • Coaching Programs
  • DVDs and CDs
  • Instant Downloads
  • Kindle Books
  • Seminars
  • Shirts
  • Site Advertising
  • subscription
  • Uncategorized

Book An Appointment

Recent Posts

  • Scared of my Shadow
  • You are not who you think you were
  • Who are you? Are you sure?
  • Exasperating – the verb
  • Change your thinking, change your life.

This Time I Mean It Copyright © 2023 · All rights reserved · Log in