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You are here: Home / Archives for disagreements

Four Rules for Disagreeing

September 12, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It is OK to disagree.

Sometimes, for our  health (mental or physical), or for the health of others, we actually must disagree with someone.

It’s not a problem to disagree, it’s HOW we disagree that matters.

A few quick suggestions:

  • Begin your statements with “I feel…” rather than “you are…”
  • Understand your intention is to state your view, not to put down the other person’s view
  • Listen to what he or she said
  • Realize the two of you might not agree no matter what

If we look at disagreements as an opportunity to enhance a relationship rather than a test of wills, the anxiety level will be lowered, the process will be smoother, and we just might get what we want.

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Member Benefits, Motivational Monday Tagged With: anxiety level, articles on conflict management, conflict, disagreement, disagreements, intention, relationship, relationships, test of wills

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-10

April 10, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

  • Check out my latest articles: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Scott_Marcus #
  • Want to have civil disagreements and not a lot of hurt feelings when you’re in conflict? An article http://bit.ly/gRhgfi #
  • How to have a conflict without it getting personal. https://thistimeimeanit.com/news/articles/fair-fighting/ http://fb.me/TiwgtgNB #
  • This is way cool! Kinetic sculptures that “live” on their own. Two videos worth checking out, really inspirational http://bit.ly/fBInXo #

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Filed Under: Weekly Twitter Feeds Tagged With: conflict, disagreements, feelings, kinetic sculptures, news articles, scott marcus

Agreeing to Disagree: How to have a Civil Disagreement

April 8, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus

How you handle conflict can prevent a whole lot of drama and bring you to resolution far quicker.

In the movie, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Harvey challenges Butch for leadership of the Hole-in-the-Wall Gang. Butch delays the confrontation by saying, “No, no, not yet. Not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out.”

Harvey, confused, responds, “Rules? In a knife fight? No rules.”

Butch immediately kicks Harvey, dropping him like a sack of stolen loot. Says Cassidy, “Well, if there ain’t going to be any rules, let’s get the fight started. Someone count. One, two three, go.”

Sundance blurts, “One, two three, go,” at which point Butch knocks Harvey out.

Butch, obviously not concerned with a long-lasting peaceful relationship, might argue his method of conflict resolution was highly effective. However, his technique is frowned upon today (as tempting as it might feel in our darker moments).


Reality Stinks

Step one is realize that even the finest communicators — with the more honorable intentions — occasionally find themselves in hot water. Communication is far from an exact science, and even when it’s not our fault, the Big Hairy Argument Monster still tromps into our lives. We cannot avoid him; try as we may.

So, when you find yourself at loggerheads with a co-worker, customer, or spouse or life partner, it’s essential to understand that how you handle it makes an enormous, long-lasting difference. By making a simple agreement in how to disagree, we add a basic structure that keep things moving forward, clears things up quicker, and prevents long-lasting, lingering bad feelings, which could damage the relationship. In my workshop presentation, “Oops, I didn’t Mean it To Come out that Way,” I go over some simple tools to help out, following is one of those rules.

Four Simple Rules for Disagreements

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Articles, Communicating, Conflict Management Tagged With: bad feelings, butch cassidy and the sundance kid, conflict resolution, confrontation, disagreements, hole in the wall gang, honorable intentions, loggerheads, peaceful relationship

Handling Conflict Better

March 28, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In conflict, begin each sentence with “I feel…” rather than “You did…”

Don’t interrupt during the reply.

Everything seems crazy these days.

That’s causing us to feel overwhelmed, overloaded, and stressed out; the perfect combination to get us into disagreements with the people we care about and those with whom we work.

Should you find yourself in that most unhappy state, it’s important to remember that the main thing is to get resolution, not to “one up” the other. (After all, how well do you react when someone tries to “one up” you?”)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Conflict Management, Current Events, Member Benefits, Motivational Monday, Scott's Rules Tagged With: conflict, disagreements, fair fighting, reply, stress, stressful times, unhappy state

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