Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
“I should be thinner.”“I should be a better parent.”“I should have thought of that before.”
Bank on the fact that you will be happy, healthy, and fulfilled.
Believe that it’s going to work out the way you want it.
If it turns out otherwise, you’ll adjust.
We think we’ve got them licked, but they’re always immediately beneath the surface, ready to emerge whenever we get careless or ignore their symptoms. Or look at them this way: We never get rid of them; we put them into deep freeze and can defrost them whenever we get sloppy.
We would all like to think we have “our acts together,” certainly in how we present ourselves to others. As I said we would like to think that, but equally certain is that within each of us there is a nagging — oft times scolding — inner voice pointing out our shortcomings; loath to congratulate and pretty darn quick to disparage. No one likes being critiqued with unrelenting regularity, so what do we do?
Simple, like teenagers not wanting to be scolded by critical parents, we tune it out. Call it “denial;” call it “defense mechanism;” or call it “mental health,” after all, a rose by any other name…
However, despite what children protest, sometimes, we parents know of what we speak and the warnings we provide could save them a bucketful of hassle — if only they’d listen. Alas; they, as did we, find out too late.
It began innocently enough with five little words (six, if you count the contraction as two): “One small bite won’t hurt.”
And it doesn’t.
Neither does the next; or the next, or even the fourth. But upon the frightful realization that I had waded in so deeply I could no longer see the shoreline, I needed to face reality.
Because this column has been running almost ten years, I’m taking a leap of faith and assuming not everyone started reading it day one. Therefore, especially with a title of, “Striving for Imprefection,” (sic) one might not easily comprehend why I write so often about weight and diet.
Born overweight and battling obesity through my early and teen years, I for the first time in my life, reached my correct weight when I lost about 100 pounds at age 17. However, I put it back on when I was in my twenties (sigh…), having to shed about 80 pounds, and thereby becoming a leader/facilitator for a major international weight loss company. In those days, I was a rarity; being male and “young.” Moreover, my primary meeting had a weekly attendance of over 100 people. To further cement my bona fides, I was chosen as one of twenty people in the entire U.S. and Canada to be a role model for the company when they celebrated their 20th anniversary in New York City in 1983. We were escorted to Broadway plays, received a complete “make over” (which made me look ridiculous), and I got to meet the founder of the company. (Oh yes, we were indeed treated to copious amounts of food at five-star restaurants.)
Despite my “rock star” star status in weight loss circles, I stopped attending meetings due to a dispute I had with a supervisor.To “teach her a lesson,” I regained about 70 pounds. Old feelings of humiliation and self-loathing re-manifested themselves, and yet I did everything I could to avoid returning. My back pained me 24/7. My marriage was a mess; my attitude was worse. People who know me today consider me “positive.” They would not have used that adjective then. I was forever unhappy.
Yet, I still refused to seek help, thinking the shame of returning was even worse than the nagging unhappiness and hurt that refused to leave.
On my 39th birthday, after everyone had gone to bed, I got down on my knees, bent over the garbage can, and ate the leftover birthday cake I had placed in the tin earlier that evening. Am I proud of this? Of course not. However, it is part of me and I’ve learned to release the shame I hold about poor choices. More importantly, it was the turning point that made me decide to seek help once again.
Hurricanes do a heck of a lot of damage on a very wide scale, but due to technology, they no longer “sneak” up on us. We know they’re coming and prepare. So, one might choose to live on the southern coast of the United States as the odds are pretty good that these monster storms can be avoided. Flooding and wildfires provide less advance notice yet they impact a smaller region, ergo the odds of being affected are lessened; maybe you therefore opt for the upper Midwest or Rockies.
What prompted this sullen query was a stand-up comic who concluded that Californians take the prize for scariest place to live — based on the sheer unpredictability of earthquakes. As he pointed out, as life-altering as a major nor’easter might be, it’s not like you’re walking down the street on a clear day and suddenly 15 feet of snow get dumped on your noggin. Earthquakes are stealthful; exploding without warning while inflicting the full power of Mother Nature in seconds.
As frightening as they are however, I would be terrified to live in “tornado alley,” as we recently witnessed with horror as the largest tornado in history ripped apart Oklahoma. To study and track these monster whirlwinds, we rely in part on the skills of “storm chasers,” (crazy? brave?) men and women who pursue twisters. Of course, with such a dangerous occupation, sometimes “stuff happens.” Such was the case when a truck carrying one of these men was lifted by a cyclone and hurled several hundred feet. Amazingly, the driver survived intact.