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You are here: Home / Archives for Self Talk

How to Get Whatever You Want

October 2, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Sigh… if only everything we wanted just – poof! – materialized.

magic_hat_and_wand

Rather, anything we desire comes to us only through a very specific process – if it arrives at all. It matters not whether it’s trivial, mundane, or life altering. There is an unalterable four-step progression. More importantly, that entire sequence moves forward based entirely on the words we use in our heads.

Step one: I realize I want something.

Many times, we mistakenly say, “need;” but in actuality, it’s “want.” After all, if we were really motivated to go after what we needed, we’d all be healthy and fit with great attitudes and perfect relationships, wouldn’t we? We take action – or we don’t, because we want to – or don’t, NOT because we need to.

Let’s use a specific example: The holidays are nigh and I know I will see family. Neither wanting snide comments nor condescending sneers, I decide to drop a few pounds. To my previous point, I’ve needed to lose weight for some time, but until I wanted to, I was not motivated. Now, having entered this “acceptance stage,” I acknowledge that not only do I need to – but also I actually want the results that will come from it.

I am in motion.

Upon acceptance, the search for validation that it can or cannot be achieved commences.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: acceptance, beliefs, i am, i can, i need, i want, I will, inner doubts, inner voices, limiting beliefs

The 5 Year Rule

September 30, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Calendar-writing-on-self

Before getting upset, ask, “Will anybody really know or care about this five years from now?”

If the answer is “no,” take a deep breath, relax, and let it go.

Most things will be “no.”

If the answer is “yes,” you have a crisis on your hands and getting upset about it will not help you deal with it. Instead, come up with a rational plan to move forward.

This does not mean deny your feelings, rather deal with them when the crisis is over.

Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted by Scott “Q” Marcus, Motivational Weight Loss Speaker and Life Balance and Productivity Expert. Subscribers to 21DayHabitChange.com and Scott’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Happiness, mental health, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: 5 year rule, anger, frustration, happiness, life balance, quality of life

Believe in the Best

September 23, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

girlpraying

Believe that everything happens for the best.

You have two choices in what you believe about what happens:

  1. You can believe that everything happens by chance; randomly. We are just leaves in the wind.
  2. You can believe that everything happens for a reason.

There is no right nor wrong choice.

However, if you choose to believe that everything happens for a reason; you might as well believe it happens for a good one.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Self Talk Tagged With: everything happens for a reason, happiness, life balance, thankfulness

What Are You Saying to YOU?

September 16, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The words we use to describe ourselves make a difference in what we end up doing.

woman-looking-at-self-in-mirror

Think about the words you use to describe what you want.

There are four stages in the process.

  1. I need… (acceptance)
  2. I can… (realization)
  3. I will… (commitment)
  4. I am… (actualization)

For example, if we’re talking about weight loss, one’s self-talk progresses through the three stages like this:

  1. “I need to lose weight.”
  2. “I can lose weight.”
  3. “I will lose weight.”
  4. “I am losing weight.”

Acceptance is usually painful so most people try to avoid it. However, once accepted, the next step is to find support to reinforce that it can be done.

After realization comes commitment. [Read more…]

Filed Under: goals, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Perfectionsim, planning, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: guilt and shame, happiness, losing weight, obstacles, realization, Think 1st, unrealistic expectations, weight acceptance, weight loss

Is Your Attitude Showing?

August 12, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Your attitude shows – even if you think it’s hidden.

I'm in a bad mood, steer clear!

Don’t deny it; own up to it.

Others are already aware of it – even if you never say anything.

And don’t feel bad if it’s not “happy-clappy” all the time. After all, we all have our down days. After all, someone with a “positive attitude” is simply someone whose attitude is positive more times than it’s not.

Check your attitude regularly. If it’s not serving you, do a reset.

Remember, as difficult as it might be to adjust it, it’s YOUR attitude and you can let it control you – or you can control it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, change, conflict, happiness, negative self talk, perfectionism, positive attitude, quality of life, self esteem

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