Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
Yet the rewards are far greater.
Don’t get locked into the idea that giving is merely materialistic.
Open a door for a stranger. Let a car get in front of you in traffic. Pick up a piece of trash on the street.
Because this column has been running almost ten years, I’m taking a leap of faith and assuming not everyone started reading it day one. Therefore, especially with a title of, “Striving for Imprefection,” (sic) one might not easily comprehend why I write so often about weight and diet.
Born overweight and battling obesity through my early and teen years, I for the first time in my life, reached my correct weight when I lost about 100 pounds at age 17. However, I put it back on when I was in my twenties (sigh…), having to shed about 80 pounds, and thereby becoming a leader/facilitator for a major international weight loss company. In those days, I was a rarity; being male and “young.” Moreover, my primary meeting had a weekly attendance of over 100 people. To further cement my bona fides, I was chosen as one of twenty people in the entire U.S. and Canada to be a role model for the company when they celebrated their 20th anniversary in New York City in 1983. We were escorted to Broadway plays, received a complete “make over” (which made me look ridiculous), and I got to meet the founder of the company. (Oh yes, we were indeed treated to copious amounts of food at five-star restaurants.)
Despite my “rock star” star status in weight loss circles, I stopped attending meetings due to a dispute I had with a supervisor.To “teach her a lesson,” I regained about 70 pounds. Old feelings of humiliation and self-loathing re-manifested themselves, and yet I did everything I could to avoid returning. My back pained me 24/7. My marriage was a mess; my attitude was worse. People who know me today consider me “positive.” They would not have used that adjective then. I was forever unhappy.
Yet, I still refused to seek help, thinking the shame of returning was even worse than the nagging unhappiness and hurt that refused to leave.
On my 39th birthday, after everyone had gone to bed, I got down on my knees, bent over the garbage can, and ate the leftover birthday cake I had placed in the tin earlier that evening. Am I proud of this? Of course not. However, it is part of me and I’ve learned to release the shame I hold about poor choices. More importantly, it was the turning point that made me decide to seek help once again.
No matter how old we are, we need to be recognized for what we do. It’s nice when it “just happens.” However, sometimes, it doesn’t. Unfortunately, when it doesn’t happen, many times we take that as a reason to get resentful. Not only does that ruin our attitude and make us feel bad, but it can damage the relationships that matter most to us.
Instead of feeling bad about not being recognized, point out what you did. Say how you feel about it. Ask to be recognized.
You did well. You deserve it. It’s fine to ask for it.
by guest author John Lenning
I just wanted to say “thanks” for helping to get me back on track.
For a little over a year before I contacted you, I had been having pain in my hip flexors. It started off as nagging pains, but got worse and worse with each month. About one month before I met you, I went to my sister’s house for a weekend get-together.One of my college buddies who I had not seen in over 9 months was there. When he saw me, he said “Haven’t seen you in a while, what have you been up to?”
I paused for a second, then replied “Work, and uhh…that’s about it”
He replied, “Work, that’s it?”
I said, “Yeah….”
He then said, “Seriously, you haven’t done anything else?”
I just kind of stood there with a dumb look on my face, thinking, “Wow, I really have not been doing anything, have I?”
After what seemed like forever, I kind of laughed and acted like it was not a big deal. I then quickly changed the subject to something about his job.
For a week after that, I just kept asking myself what I had been doing. His question made me take a look at myself and realize that I had let my pain prevent me from doing things. I had been using it as an excuse. I had used my hip injury to justify skipping the gym, camping trips, and other things. I even used it to justify my poor eating habits.
I realized that I had been passively going through life, never stopping to see that things seemed to be going downhill.
Even after that experience, it took me over three weeks to convince myself that I needed to start doing something about the pain. I finally convinced myself that I needed to actually do something and was able to convince myself to talk to Mike. The rest is history.
I am thankful that I was able to finally break through the walls that I had built, and ask Mike if he knew what I should do. If I had not, I would still be living a mediocre lifestyle. Thanks to you guys I am back to my old self.
Thanks again,
If you are having a difficult time motivating yourself, get someone you can trust and tell them what is going on. Then, tell them that you are not comfortable in your situation. Ask them to hold you accountable to do something about it. You do not need to ask for “help” or “assistance” just accountability
About the Author: John is a competitive athlete and trainer. When John is not working out, coaching, or eating, he is usually trying to learn something new. He currently writes about the causes, symptoms, and treatment of hip pain at his personal site.
A “powerful” person is not an “invincible” person, nor is she powerful without the help of anyone else.
One can be powerful – and still need help from others. It does not diminish who you are to do that.
I am allowed to seek help from others.