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You are here: Home / Archives for denial

Out of the Fog: Four Observations about Bad Habits

July 10, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

foggy scene

Forgotten habits exist right under the skin.

We think we’ve got them licked, but they’re always immediately beneath the surface, ready to emerge whenever we get careless or ignore their symptoms. Or look at them this way: We never get rid of them; we put them into deep freeze and can defrost them whenever we get sloppy.

We would all like to think we have “our acts together,” certainly in how we present ourselves to others. As I said we would like to think that, but equally certain is that within each of us there is a nagging — oft times scolding — inner voice pointing out our shortcomings; loath to congratulate and pretty darn quick to disparage. No one likes being critiqued with unrelenting regularity, so what do we do?

Simple, like teenagers not wanting to be scolded by critical parents, we tune it out. Call it “denial;” call it “defense mechanism;” or call it “mental health,” after all, a rose by any other name…

However, despite what children protest, sometimes, we parents know of what we speak and the warnings we provide could save them a bucketful of hassle — if only they’d listen. Alas; they, as did we, find out too late.

Being a “wrinkled kid,” I ignored my internal parent and was unintentionally thawing out some past routines.

It began innocently enough with five little words (six, if you count the contraction as two): “One small bite won’t hurt.”

And it doesn’t.

Neither does the next; or the next, or even the fourth. But upon the frightful realization that I had waded in so deeply I could no longer see the shoreline, I needed to face reality.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Habits, Health, mental health, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Temptation, Procrastination, Self Talk, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: bad habits, defense mechanism, denial, diet, diet tips, habit change, health habits, inner voice, mental health, old habits, realization

Weight Watchers PowerStart Works Well: Lessons on Productivity

December 6, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Weight Watchers just introduced PointsPlus 2012.

The program has not changed a great deal. They’ve made some minor Points Plus target changes, giving some people the ability to go to a Points Plus Value as low as 26 (it used to be 29). They’ve instituted a range. In effect, they’ve made a flexible program even more flexible, which I think is good.

However, the biggest change (at least in my opinion)  is how it’s explained to the new members (as well as returning members who would like to have it refreshed). It’s called PowerStart.

What is PowerStart?

Previously, new members would stay for a single “Getting Started Session,” where the concept of points (or points plus values) were explained. The weekly points plus allowance and activity points were also outlined, as well as the concept behind the Weight Watchers program in general. It took about 30 minutes, but was necessary if you wanted to be successful – as I’m sure people do when they join. However, one thing they found out is that in trying to take in that much information, especially while being a bit emotional at the time, people were overwhelmed.

Why emotional?

Think about it. Most people who join Weight Watchers – or any diet plan – are not in a good mood when they begin. They tend to be sad, feel guilty for putting on that much weight, or scared. After all, no one wakes up one morning and says,

“Yay! I finally put on enough weight that I can go to Weight Watchers!”

By the time they show up, they’ve tried everything; nothing has worked; so they broke through the veil of denial and decided to do something about their weight. But let’s face it, when you finally admit to yourself that you’ve “let yourself go,” you don’t feel so good about yourself.  Therefore, when somebody starts a diet program, she usually feels bad about herself. Add to that feeling that they’re absorbing a lot of information and, well, what happens is they get distracted; they don’t learn it, and their heads explode.

What to do?

Weight Watchers has changed the game, so instead of one” getting started session,” they have introduced three PowerStart sessions; each one focuses on the basics of the program for just a few minutes but spends a lot of the time focusing on three different skills that will help the members actually make some helpful and healthy changes – and begin without delay.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Group Support, Inspiration, planning, Procrastination, Productivity, Psychology, Success, Weight Loss Tagged With: action, change, denial, diet, diet plan, diet program, emotions, feelings, planning, points plus 2012, powerstart, weight loss, weight watchers, weight watchers points, weight watchers points plus, weight watchers points plus values, weight watchers program

Using Goals as an Excuse to Avoid Achieving Them

January 20, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Sometimes goals are used as an excuse to actually avoid changing.

At first blush that sounds counter intuitive, doesn’t it? We set up goals or resolutions in order to change and improve ourselves. But, after some discussion I’ve been having with a client, I realized that we set some goals up, as excuses to avoid making change. It might not be consciously or intentional, but even so, we’re doing it.

As an example, suppose we have family members who are on our backs about losing weight or quitting smoking. We might not want to (even though we know they’re right) or we might not be ready or we might not believe we can accomplish our goals. So, in order to avoid dealing with the hassle of our family, we throw our hands up over our head and say, “Fine! I’ll lose the weight!” Then, we set up such an unrealistic goal that it’s virtually impossible to accomplish it so after a short while we can quit. When people say, “What happened?” We can say, “I tried. What else can I do?” and hopefully get them off our back. (To read a humorous post about use of the word “trying,” follow this link.)

In an earlier post I wrote about a “composite client” who I felt was making goals that were so large, he was setting himself up for failure. He has repeated “tried” (there’s that word again) to lose weight but has never move very far along his path. To help him out, I asked him to be more specific in his goals and to make smaller steps. In an update to me, he said:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Change, Excuses, Failure, Intentions, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, planning, Power of Attitude, Procrastination, Self Talk, Success, Think 1st Tagged With: denial, failure, journals, little steps, losing weight, resolutions, unrealistic goal

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