How To Reignite The Spark, Even After Kids

July 5, 2013 by MikeTremba Leave a Comment

When it comes to raising kids, the last thing on most married peoples’ minds is intimacy.

When is there time? You both work eight hours a day, the kids have five hours of homework, you have to make dinner, find an hour to exercise, run errands, get your daughter to soccer and your son to band practice… all while making sure there’s gas in the car and food in the fridge.

By the time you get into bed at night, the last thing either one of you is thinking about is romance.

A hot shower and bed before 10 p.m. is probably the most romantic thing you can imagine right now. But maybe you’re thinking about romance the wrong way. And if you are, it could be damaging your marriage.

Being Intimate Comes In Many Forms

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Are you Independent or Stubborn?

July 1, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Are you independent or are you stubborn?

It’s a fine line between being “independent” and being “stubborn.”

Being independent means being able to get along and function on your own without needing anyone else’s help nor approval. It also means you are open to hearing other’s ideas and to learning better ways to move forward.

However, being stubborn means insisting that you know how to do what you do irrespective of evidence or offered support; even if it’s not getting the best results. Stubbornness means you’re more determined to get your way rather than get it done well. In reality, stubbornness harms relationships and holds you back.

It’s a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it. It’s a sign of maturity to recognize when you need the help.

Even strong independent people have areas where they need others.

Recognize them. Get help.

Then return the favor.

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Are you Appreciative?

June 10, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Appreciation runs in two directions.

It almost goes without saying that we all love to be appreciated.

What would the remainder of your day be like if:

You did a “little something” around the house and your spouse said how much he appreciated it?
One of your children called just to say he loves you and he’s glad you’re his mom?
You were weeding your yard and noticed some weeds growing in your neighbor’s yard so you decided to pull a few of them. A short while later, there’s a knock on your door. It’s your neighbor, just saying “thank you”?
You notice the person behind you in the grocery store line has only a couple things. You let him go before you. He sincerely wishes you a wonderful day?

Obviously, you’d feel great. It’s because you were appreciated.

We cannot make anyone else appreciate us. Yet, we sure can take the time to appreciate someone else.

Take a moment each day to appreciate a simple act.

You’ll appreciate how great it makes YOU feel.

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Our Feelings are Our Own

June 3, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Nobody makes anybody feel anything.

We learn to react to events by feeling certain ways. We can learn to react differently if we want to.

It won’t always be easy but it’s definitely worth it.

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Ask first. Talk Later.

April 29, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

We are “hard-wired” to answer questions, correct?

(See, in your head, you HAD to answer that – even if you disagreed!)

If we really want to have closer relationships and we want to get more from those with whom we associate, we have to:

Listen
Ask questions
Refrain from judgment
Look for consensus

Telling someone what you want without listening to what he or she wants might get you what you need. But, listening first is a more reliable strategy and will probably get both of you what you want.

And isn’t that a better choice?

(See, you answered again!) [Read more…]

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