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You are here: Home / Archives for motivation

Three Weeks: What do you do When Motivation Fades?

February 20, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

They say, “Eat less and exercise more; the weight will practically fall off.” They also say, “getting started is the hardest part.” Of course, garrulous as They are, They make sure to point out you shouldn’t have waited so long before taking care of yourself. Whoever “They” are, They sure have a lot to say about how to run your life, don’t They?

They also tell you that if you keep a new habit in place for only three weeks, it will be adapted into your life. I’m not sure I agree. I’ve been dieting since before they invited sugar-free cola and non-fat yogurt — considerably more than three weeks — and I still find healthy eating a challenge, especially when stressed with organizing my taxes, calling the plumber to fix a plugged toilet, and trying to find a few seconds for my family. In those moments, a double-bacon, cheesy, chiliburger and gargantuan order of fries still shout pretty loud.

Yet, if you have ever tried to adjust habits, you have faced the dreaded (insert ominous music here…) “Three Week Barrier.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: goals, Habits, Overcoming Obstacles, Power of Attitude Tagged With: desire, gratification, habit, motivation, old habits, stresses, successes, urge

February Resolutions: Making Commitments near the Holiday Dedicated to Committments

February 9, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Resolutions expiredSix weeks into the year: So, how are those New Year’s resolutions workin’ for ya?

If they’re now broken shards lying along the highway shoulder several miles in the rear view mirror, fret not, you stand not alone. According to surveys, as many as 80 percent of people give up their vast and glorious seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time plans by the tail end of January; more alarming is as many as 90 percent are never brought to fruition. What might the foremost reasons for not accomplishing them be? About 40 percent of respondents say they didn’t have enough time (read that “not a high enough priority”) and about one-third say they weren’t even committed to doing them in first place. Basically, they set them to get someone off their back. Yep, nothing says “motivation to change” like a heaping, steaming pile of guilt.

Personally, I think the “New Year’s Resolution” is a manufactured event; akin to holidays we didn’t know existed until we went into the greeting card shop. We respond to public pressure, and since “everyone’s doing it,” we don’t want to pay the social price for not going along; hence we make promises we never intend to keep.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Current Events, Excuses, Failure, Holidays, Procrastination, resolutions, Traditions, TTIMI Holiday Tagged With: good idea at the time, greeting card shop, hangover, january 1, looking in the mirror, motivation, rear view mirror, resolutions, six weeks, staring you in the face

Perfection vs Progress: Trying too Much Can Hold You Back as Much as Doing too Little

January 9, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I received a message from a client today. I’m modifying it somewhat to protect privacy but it triggered some thoughts that I want to share.

I went to the gym today. Did 30 minutes on the elliptical, 20 minutes on the bike, and 15 minutes of weights. This afternoon, I signed up at the local community college for several PE classes.  I’m taking three classes: Yoga, weight lifting, and Pilates. At this point, doing an aerobics class isn’t permissible with my weight and back. However, if I can maintain a reasonable weight loss over the next 16 weeks, maybe an aerobics class might be a possibility. I will continue to go to my gym to get a cardio workout, of course. However, having these classes that I have to go to will be good motivation.

I wrote down everything I ate today for the 35th day in a row …  I’m done with feeling sorry for myself; that doesn’t help me. Just one step at a time is all I can do for right now, and I do think I’m making progress.

What I wrote back, not that she was asking:

I am impressed with all you’re doing; you’ve turned into a machine.

However, a question: Is it sustainable? No judgment is implied here, it’s just a sincere question. Make sure that the path you choose is one that you will continue, not one that will overwhelm you. If you can honestly keep  up with everything you’ve set out to do, by all means stick with it. If it’s going to consume you and you’ll give up due to the sheer volume of time and lifestyle change it will involve, it’s much better to choose a smaller set of activies and stay with them because you’ll do those longer and incorporate them into your life.

The problem…

(continued below the image)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Diet, Failure, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Scott's Rules, Self Talk, Success Tagged With: aerobics class, cardio workout, lifestyle change, motivation, perfectionism, weight loss, yoga

The Biggest Misconception About Motivation

December 1, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

You stand on the scale, afraid to look.

You don’t want to know the results because the dreaded “lost your motivation” monster has devoured you. “If I only knew how to get back my motivation, I could get going again.”

Many think motivation leads behavior and if we lose it, we will never reach our goals. The reality is it does not disappear, we send it away. We can bring it back.

Picture “motivation.”

It’s empowering, exciting, fearless. It’s “lead, follow, or get out of the way.” When motivated, nothing prevents us from storming the castle. Yet motivation seems so fickle, disappearing on a moment’s notice.

When we start to change a habit, we are not motivated. Instead, usually we are depressed, angry, or forced. Whatever you call it, “motivation” would not be the label. Yet, we give it the old college try “one more time;” anything to get rid of the inner chorus of doubt and self-disgust. We change our behaviors – for whatever reason.

At the end of week one, lo and behold, weight loss! That feels pretty darn good. So, we “give it another week.” And again, more weight loss. Energy is rising. Clothes are looser. The sun seems brighter. Things are definitely on the move. Notice the attitude now: motivated!

The point is motivation did NOT lead the behaviors; it followed it.

When one feels lost, don’t look for motivation, start a behavior. Actions lead to motivation.

It’s hard to stay vigilant. But it’s easier if we don’t try and do everything, just one thing. Choose the first idea that comes into your head and simply do MORE of it, not ALL of it.

Walk five minutes more than you did last week. Stop eating 20 minutes earlier. Make a commitment to do it right now. And notice the feeling after you start.

It doesn’t take long for motivation to return. It just takes a willingness to do something to invite it back.

Filed Under: Inspiration, mental health, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Overcoming Temptation, Productivity Tagged With: attitude, doubt, habit, misconception, motivation, self disgust, weight loss

Locus of Control: Who Runs Your Life?

September 8, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

therapy-on-couchAt the very first session I had with my therapist oh so many years ago, the opening question out of my mouth was, “How long will this take?”

Being ever the smart aleck, he replied, “About 50 minutes.”

“No,” I responded. “How long will it take until I am fixed; you know, healed; normal?”

I am not alone when it comes to asking that question. One of the first items we want checked off our “to do list of change” is a date specific that we can mark on our calendar alerting us to the face that – voila – goal achieved! Like a prisoner sentenced to hard labor, we want to know how long until we are free.

From a logical point of view, the process of getting from “here” to “there” is actually pretty exhilarating. We find out about ourselves. We discover what we’re capable of doing. Others compliment and admire us. Life is new; every sunrise provides the option for multiple new adventures, unwrapping more of whom we really are. It would seem that with so much to gain, we would rather linger luxuriously in the progression instead of charge hell-bent for leather to the other side.

So, what’s with the big rush?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Weight Loss Tagged With: career, change, children, control, destiny, fate, how, motivation, why, work

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