Celebrate Your Age

October 20, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Celebrate your age!

Yes, it can be frightening growing older.

old couple After all, we’re entering the great unknown.

As I heard someone say long ago:

“Yes, there are people who are older than me, but this is the oldest I’ve ever been.”

A few days after my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I asked her how she felt about knowing that she didn’t have long to live. My mother, who always believed in “The Greatest Good at All Times,” did not changer her life-long philosophy because of her fate.

She said,

“I’m frightened and I’m going to miss you and your sister. But, I have to believe that the greatest good is at play and I cannot give it up here. Besides, it’s kind of like life’s last big adventure. I’m curious to see where it goes.”

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Fear of Success vs Fear of Failure

April 9, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There are few reasons why we do not achieve our dreams.

Yes, there are “acts of God.”

Philosophically, one might even accept fate or destiny as insurmountable barriers. Yet, aside from those, the immense majority of people living lives of quiet desperation reside there because of what’s going on in their minds more than on our planet. With credit to Walt Kelly, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” We — not others — are more times than not, our worst adversaries.

I mean this not in a condescending, judgmental manner, as one might hear from no-nonsense hyper-achievers, “Just pull yourself up from the bootstraps, suck it in, and get it done. Don’t be such a wimp!” One cannot change years of brain wave patterns in the same manner in which he switches on or off a light. Negative thoughts today — click — positive henceforth. My objective today is also not designed to illustrate how messed up we are; I don’t think that’s true, we’re all doing the best we know how to do.

With appropriate disclaimers admitted, if we accept that we are standing in our own way, it begs the question, “Why would we do that?” Why do we NOT reach further, dream larger, and believe better?

The primary answer is: Fear; Fear of Success, and its dastardly sibling, Fear of Failure.

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This is Why I Can’t Have Nice Things

March 26, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My car is getting on in years.

Its skin has faded splotches of color; it has a strange assortment of creaks and grunts; and it doesn’t have the get up and go it had. (Ironically, it’s an allegory for me.) I’d like to purchase a shiny new one, but despite all the improvement in auto technology, they have still not come up with a way to remove car payments. Should they do so, I’d be so johnny-on-the-spot at the dealership, you’d think I drove a Bentley Continental GT Speed with 616 horsepower to get there.

Putting aside such fantasies, and since I drive to many of my engagements, and am leery of using my auto, I rent. I don’t need anything fancy; if it has cruise control, I’m good to go.

Upon arriving to pick up my car for this trip, the attendant informed me that I received a free upgrade.

“Would you like the luxury car or the sporty car?”

With 12 hours of driving ahead of me over the next two days, a luxury car would be nice. However, the increased cost in gasoline — as well as my inner teen — veered me to a tricked-out, metallic-charcoal-grey 2014 Mustang. Said inner teen was revving higher than the tachometer as I pulled off the lot.

As mentioned, my only real requirement is cruise control.

It saves wear and tear on my lower body, and by setting it for the speed limit, saves wear and tear on my wallet. This way, I don’t have to worry about speeding tickets, which I have not had in about 25 years. (You know where this story is going, don’t you?)

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Locus of Control: Who Runs Your Life?

September 8, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

At the very first session I had with my therapist oh so many years ago, the opening question out of my mouth was, “How long will this take?”

Being ever the smart aleck, he replied, “About 50 minutes.”

“No,” I responded. “How long will it take until I am fixed; you know, healed; normal?”

I am not alone when it comes to asking that question. One of the first items we want checked off our “to do list of change” is a date specific that we can mark on our calendar alerting us to the face that – voila – goal achieved! Like a prisoner sentenced to hard labor, we want to know how long until we are free.

From a logical point of view, the process of getting from “here” to “there” is actually pretty exhilarating. We find out about ourselves. We discover what we’re capable of doing. Others compliment and admire us. Life is new; every sunrise provides the option for multiple new adventures, unwrapping more of whom we really are. It would seem that with so much to gain, we would rather linger luxuriously in the progression instead of charge hell-bent for leather to the other side.

So, what’s with the big rush?

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