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You are here: Home / Archives for why

Why Why Why Why Why

May 11, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Questions on a whiteboard, isolated on white

Today’s column will have seemingly unassociated, far-flung diverse topics ranging from isosceles triangles to Poltergeist to Cold Pizza to management of a Japanese car company.

Stick with it though; it all comes together.

Now, let’s begin…

From the moment I entered Mr. Carrington’s Geometry class in tenth grade, I knew I was home. The concepts of rays, lines, and planes came naturally. Homework, oft times consisting of doing “proofs,” was to me, what drawing was to an artist.

“What is a ‘proof,’” you ask? Fair question. One is presented with a diagram and certain “givens” (truths) and then building on the “givens” and utilizing one’s knowledge of Geometry, has to step-by-step logically prove the conclusion is indeed accurate. For example, “If line BD is a perpendicular bisector of line AC, prove that triangle ABC is isosceles.” (Don’t worry; you’re not going to be tested on this at the end of the column.)

Hard cut to our topic for today: Poor choices are not isolated events; rather they are the result of a series of behavioral links leading down a path to said decision.

Let’s take late night eating as an example, a problem for many. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Productivity, Success, Weight Loss Tagged With: change, solving problems, weight loss, why

Skipping Across the Rainbow Bridge

April 15, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus

“Jack” was the name chosen by someone long before us.

jack-&-I

However, when we rescued him from the shelter, we figured, “Why not? We might as well keep the name.” His moniker morphed strangely to “Jackpot,” slid into “Pot-Pot,” and eventually just — embarrassingly enough — “Pot.” I usually called him “Big Puppy.”

Being older, Jack had “issues.”

Boy howdy, did he have issues! We didn’t seek out a dog that needed 24-hour attention, but we got one. Within a week of his “gotcha” day, we discovered he had hypersensitive skin, causing him to chew and scratch at his sides so much, he would bleed. To prevent self-mutilation, we stumbled upon the idea of adorning him in toddler-sized T-shirts. Since Mini-human clothing is not designed for Mini Schnauzers, we had to put the shirts on backwards – with the design facing up instead of down. Securing them so he didn’t trip, while still providing freedom to “do his business,” he was the most “stylin’” dog in town. Eventually, he acquired a complete wardrobe of emblazoned with super hero motifs, holiday fashions, and our favorite, inscribed, “Mommy’s Little Monster” in stark white letters. Beyond soothing his skin, we’re sure he liked them because after every walk (when we had to remove his shirt to attach his leash), he’d wait for us to re-dress him.

A never-ending source of noises was our Big Puppy.

He didn’t bark much (unless he saw another dog) but he grunted, groaned, licked, chewed, yawned, and exhaled loudly without end. He also broke wind – constantly, always a source of confusion to him, causing him to spin mid-step, seeking the source of the rear-end disruption.

What most people remember was that he “skipped.”

Because his hind legs were too close together and he had scoliosis (did I say he had “issues?”) his rear feet bumped each other when he walked, causing him to hop, giving the appearance he was skipping down the street. It didn’t slow him down, but did provide the funniest impression of a Fred-Astaire-Singing-in-the-Rain upbeat gait as he strolled down the avenue. Ironically, it was spot-on; he actually was happiest in those moments.

Sunday was our last walk.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Newspaper Column, Personal, Relationships, Tribute Tagged With: adopting a dog, death of a pet, grief, mini schnauzer, rainbow bridge, sadness, why

Placing the Control Within

March 19, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Some time ago, I postulated that the locus of control for our lives is internal.

That might sound high fallutin’ and all, but it’s pretty simple; my take was that as long as we put control over what happens to us “out there” rather than squarely within, nothing will ever change. We will remain where we are in our development.

I state that without judgment, just pointing out a fact.

Delicious lasagne

For example, it may be true that Aunt Margaret is pushing the deep-dish lasagna she made “just for you” like a pasta addict enabler. Equally true is she gets offended when you turn it down, and saying “no” to her home cooking causes a family rift. It might also be accurate that your husband is unsupportive when he sits next to you munching obliviously away on your favorite flavor of potato chips, while you’re stuck in a funk with celery sticks and carrots. Yes, you’ve told him a thousand times that you’d like him to not do that, and yes, you’re right, he doesn’t seem to care.

However… (don’t you just hate that word sometimes?) the decision about whether or not to succumb to temptation or pressure – as difficult as it might be – still lies within; nowhere else. In effect, it lives within. As long as we say things like, “She made me…” or “I had no choice…” or “It was too hard…” we are committing to stay put.

I’ve seen Aunt Margaret when she’s ticked off and I don’t blame anyone for avoiding a Hatfield-McCoy blow out. But, whether we’re trying to lose weight, increase our income, or just plain be happier; as long as we allow others to determine our actions, they’re controlling us. It’s understandable that sometimes the “social price” we have to pay to follow our path doesn’t justify the return. Again, I’m not placing value; been there, done that; I’m just analyzing.

So what prompted this rehash of a previous topic?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, goals, mental health, Newspaper Column Tagged With: change, clever, control, diet, family, holidays, how, husband, losing weight, why

Do You Enjoy Your Bad Habits?

March 6, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Note: We recently launched of a seminar series, “Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Thou shalt enjoy the benefits of thy habits.

happy-bag-of-french-fries

This might – at first – seem counter intuitive.

However, the habit you are trying to change provides a benefit; that’s why you started it.  However, when the side effect of the benefit is more painful than the pleasure, it’s time to say goodbye.

You were doing the best you knew how to do. Now, you know more and you have decided to change. “Bless” the habit, rather than curse it.

Wish it well. Move on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, goals, Habits, Motivational Monday, Self Talk Tagged With: 10 commandments of habit change, change, changing habits, coaching service, email, habit, how, lifestyle change, weight loss, why

Dealing With Crisis – Monday Motivational Memo

April 30, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

When in a crisis, it’s better to ask “HOW do I go out of here?” rather than “WHY am I here?”

When the crisis is over, figure out why.

When “stuff” happens to us over and over again, we have a normal tendency to throw up our arms in frustration and say, “WHY is this happening to me again?”

The better question is “HOW do I deal with it?” Better yet, “HOW do I stop it from happening again?”

WHY is an intellectual word; it’s great for figuring out the cause and for planning. HOW is an action word, it always paints a path forward.

You might not like the path but at least you’re no longer a victim and you have a choice.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles Tagged With: action, choices, coaching service, frustration, how, making decisions, planning, service, subscribers, why

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