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You are here: Home / Archives for habit

Keep a Good Thought

September 14, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My wife and I tried breaking our nightly routine.

To alleviate muscle aches, we deduced that if we each slept on side of the bed where the other person usually lies, we might arise pain free. (It made sense in the moment.)

I make no claim that swapping pillows is a valiant act of bravado. That does nothing to diminish the reality that it, in fact, was awkward. Not simply “I-normally­-don’t–wear–this-color­-so-I-feel-like-everyone’s-staring-at-me” unpleasant; it was more akin to “Did-I-forgot-to-zip-something?” anxiety. We tossed, turned, bumped into each other multiple times, and waited twitchily for the arrival of Hypnos, the God of Slumber, only to be jilted on the mattress. After several fidgety hours, reverting to positions of yore, we obtained at last a modicum of shut-eye.
It’s not as if my bride and I, while writing our vows, discussed who would lay claim to which side of the bed.

“Do you, Scott, promise to love, cherish, and support Mary Ann until the end of your days — while swearing to snooze faithfully on the section of bed furthest from the nightstand?”

No, that’s not how it happens. Customs emerge. One moment, it’s an arbitrary behavior, next instant: Habit. Isn’t that how it is?

We set up repetitive behaviors for our ease; then, something alters them.

We are naked, abandoned, and lonely. Without habit’s landmarks, direction is lost; uneasiness swamps us. So, we rush back as quickly as possible, reassured finally by the embrace of the familiar.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Habits, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: anxiety, changing habits, creatures of habit, customs, good sleep habits, habit, habit change, nightly routine, old habits, repetitive behaviors

No More Excuses

March 21, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Successful people find a way; failures find excuses.”

I don’t remember who told me that, and as much as I find the term “failures” to be a sloppy choice of words, it’s a valid concept. Day by day, hour-by-hour, we face options. Often, one path leads us forward while another locks us in place. Why then do we opt to stay where we are?

The human psyche is past complex and the reasons are beyond count. Sometimes, we didn’t realize alternatives existed until we look back. Possibly, the choices did not seem that diverse; in effect it was six of one, half a dozen of the other; any port in a storm. Maybe it was a snap decision without the necessary time to truly evaluate the results. Yet, more times than not, no sugarcoating the answer: we had an excuse.

At any moment, any one of us can dig deep into our sack of justification pulling forth numerous vindications why we make our choices. “Not enough time; people will think less of me; it’s never worked before, why will this be different?” As the stakes amplify, immovability expands, the opposite of what needs to happen.

For example, your marriage hits rough seas.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Beliefs, Change, Habits, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: choice of words, choices, courage, emotions, excuse, habit, quality of life, relationships, weight loss

Overcoming Resistance to Change

February 20, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

frustration change diet overwhelm attitudeRarely – if at all – does anyone WANT to change.  

The results of the change are what actually motivate us.

Keep your focus on those.

“Logically,” we usually know what to do to improve our health and our lives. We just don’t do it.

Why?

Usually, it’s because we’re focusing on the mental work it takes. That seems taxing and overwhelming and not worth the effort. Therefore, we quit.

The key is to focus on the benefits you will receive by doing the work. For example, don’t focus on how hard it is to stick to your diet; picture how you’ll feel in one hour when you’ve resisted the habit.

In effect,  focus on where you will be from your efforts, not what it’s taking to achieve them.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, Habits, Inspiration, Member Benefits, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Temptation, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: bad habits, change, coaching service, desire, diet, habit, health, resistance, resolutions

Analyzing My Actions for True Results

February 10, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Anti-Perfectionism Affirmation

Analyzing my Actions

Our thoughts lead to our actions. Our actions become our lives.

If something in your life is consistently NOT the way you expect it or want it to be, it’s time to take a look at the actions in your life. However, it’s important to do so without “beating yourself up.” Accept that the old action was simply the best way you knew how to do something – until now. Now that you know more, you will choose to do something different.

Reward yourself for what you tried – and then let it go (without blame)

Today, I will evaluate the results of my behaviors with appreciation for the intention and honesty in the results.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Affirmation, Habits, Intentions, Overcoming Perfectionsim Tagged With: affirmation, affirmations, bad habits, change, habit, honesty, intention, lifestyle change, perfectionism

Benchmarking is Better Than a Resolution and Gets Better Results, Too!

January 14, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Guest Writer: Terri Langhans, CSP

Let’s put this behind us.

Benchmarks are better than resolutions and get better results!

Just days after New Year’s, my daughter and I were talking about making and breaking resolutions. She said hers would be easy to keep. She wanted to cook-in more. Kelsey is in her last semester of graduate school and races between school, internship, work and the gym, eating or munching on the run, or standing at the kitchen counter in her apartment.

I took a deep breath, pondering whether I should just say, “That’s a good one, sweetie,” wearing my Mommy Hat, or tell her what I really thought, wearing my Business Hat.

I managed both. “That’s a good one, sweetie. You’re such a good cook, and you’ll probably save money, too.” Pause. “And, you know what I tell people in my audiences–to put a number on it and create a benchmark. Otherwise it’s not going to happen.”

“It’s cooking, Mom, not accounting,” she sighed. “But what’s a benchmark, again?”

I told her this, essentially.

Fancy definition: it’s a number that measures an activity or result. Real world example: whether you want to cook-in, play tennis, exercise, read, write, walk, run, dance, speak, consult, sell or save more, put a number on it. How many times a MONTH will you make it happen? 1? 4? 8? 16? 20? 30?

Don’t say 10. I mean, you could say you’re going to do something 10 times a month, but it gives me a brain cramp. Yoga 10 times a month? Is that 2 times one week, 3 times the next week, then 2 and 3 again? Make the math easily divisible by 4, as in weeks in a month. Dial it down to 8 or crank it up to 12.

Forget the annual goal.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Business Goals, goals, Guest Author, planning, Productivity, resolutions Tagged With: benchmark, benchmarks, brain cramp, graduate school, guest author, habit, new year, real world, resolutions, resolutions that stick, small business success

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