creatures of habit

Why Do We Keep Doing That?

April 3, 2013 By Scott "Q" Marcus

When I attended UCLA —

during the late Pliocene and early Pleistocene epochs — a story circulated among the undergrads about the ultimate final exam, which supposedly had taken place in a Philosophy class.

As urban legend had it, the students, bleary eyed from sleepless nights of contemplating The Theory of Forms and defending or arguing whether one can indeed step twice in the same river waited while the professor sauntered into the mini amphitheater, faced them square on, dramatically waiting for silence. Then theatrically, he pronounced, “For your final exam, answer only this one question.”

With staged flourish, he turned to the chalkboard and scrawled:

“Why?”

Most in attendance did not expect this, and ascribing to a more crass philosophy — “If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with B.S.” — utilized the full allotted period to elaborate on this ultimate of all queries. After all, a question with such far-reaching bounds must be worthy of many pages and much ink.

Yet, as the story unfolds, the student who received the highest grade took no more than ten seconds to pen his rejoinder, strolling from the room almost immediately, while histrionically dropping his blue book on the instructor’s desk.

Simply, he had written,

“Why not?”

Now it’s my turn: “Why?”

“Why do we do what we do when we know that what we do will move us further from health, happiness or success?”

Before the knee-jerk reply, “I don’t,” escapes your lips, consider these examples. [Read more…]

Keep a Good Thought

September 14, 2012 By Scott "Q" Marcus

My wife and I tried breaking our nightly routine.

To alleviate muscle aches, we deduced that if we each slept on side of the bed where the other person usually lies, we might arise pain free. (It made sense in the moment.)

I make no claim that swapping pillows is a valiant act of bravado. That does nothing to diminish the reality that it, in fact, was awkward. Not simply “I-normally-don’t–wear–this-color-so-I-feel-like-everyone’s-staring-at-me” unpleasant; it was more akin to “Did-I-forgot-to-zip-something?” anxiety. We tossed, turned, bumped into each other multiple times, and waited twitchily for the arrival of Hypnos, the God of Slumber, only to be jilted on the mattress. After several fidgety hours, reverting to positions of yore, we obtained at last a modicum of shut-eye.
It’s not as if my bride and I, while writing our vows, discussed who would lay claim to which side of the bed.

“Do you, Scott, promise to love, cherish, and support Mary Ann until the end of your days — while swearing to snooze faithfully on the section of bed furthest from the nightstand?”

No, that’s not how it happens. Customs emerge. One moment, it’s an arbitrary behavior, next instant: Habit. Isn’t that how it is?

We set up repetitive behaviors for our ease; then, something alters them.

We are naked, abandoned, and lonely. Without habit’s landmarks, direction is lost; uneasiness swamps us. So, we rush back as quickly as possible, reassured finally by the embrace of the familiar.

[Read more…]

How to Change Your Habits to be Happier, Healthier and More Productive

June 8, 2011 By Scott "Q" Marcus

Most of life is done by rote.

For most of us, alarm clocks buzz the same time every morning. The average grocery store stocks over 38,000 items; yet the standard shopper goes to the same store every week, usually on the same day, and chooses from the same few dozen items every outing. We become brand loyal, eating our meals at approximately the same period every day, leave for work at a uniform time, drive a standard route, and return home at a consistent hour every night. Evenings consist of consuming one of a few “favorite” dinners. Entertainment consists of books or magazines from a few select genres and a stable of favorite authors; or maybe a regular line-up of TV shows, which we watch while sitting in “our usual place,” and snacking — or not — on the same foods we had yesterday at the same time. At day’s end, we retire at the same time, even sleeping with the same person (hopefully), only to repeat these patterns come dawn.

This is not to suggest we are unimaginative, bland, nor boring; rather to illustrate that we are creatures of habit; no if’s, and’s, or butt’s about it.

Reality is these habits make life easier. Picture the above scenario where every single day consisted of an entirely new routine. Exciting? Sure — for a little while. After that, just plain exhausting.

The downside of a life assembled on a foundation of habits are the “side effects;” those unexpected results of our patterns. Make no mistake however; they are every bit as much a part of the habit as are the results we seek. For example, if I’m bored, I eat. If I’m angry, I eat. If I’m sad, I eat. It’s a common routine. It allows me to feel better fast. After all, chips or ice cream not only alleviate boredom, but also go a long way toward holding negative feelings at bay — for the short term. The side effect is a weight gain. I get to feel good quickly, for the simple price of obesity long term.

Conversely, some people read a book when bored; when sad, call a friend; and when angry, take a brisk walk. (There is a clinical term for such folks: “Skinny.”) Whereby their habits also provide comfort, the side effects are healthier. Should I long for such results, I must also develop similar habits.

The thing is that it’s extremely difficult to “drop” habits. Since their sole purpose is to fill voids, simply abolishing them make those holes more painful. This in turn, triggers the very behavior we were trying to banish — which puts our actions at odds with our feelings. In a case like that, emotions almost always win out and the habit — and its side effects — strengthens.

[Read more…]

Making Chores Managable

May 1, 2011 By Featured Author

Every morning, I stagger out of my bedroom, take a look at my living room and my heart drops.

Aside from the normal house cleaning one has to do, I’m an animal lover and have seven indoor cats that have taken to using my house as their personal playground. I love them dearly, but I don’t like how filthy my home gets. A home that smells like animals disgusts me and it’s embarrassing to have company in my home when it reeks of pet odors. Because I was raised by a self-proclaimed neat freak, I feel compelled to ensure that the rooms are as tidy as possible… but since I also work a full time job, cleaning house is never at the top of my priority list when I get home at the end of the day. I’ve checked out maid reviews, considered hiring a housecleaner, even setting fire to the whole thing, but I have to admit; I really do like the challenge of maintaining my house myself – despite my hatred for some of the tasks required to do so.

The question is “How do I do it all and still have a life?”

Though I have many undesirable chores, one of my least favorites has to be cleaning the litter boxes. I have one litter box for every two cats that I have. And since I have seven furry felines, I have four boxes that are constantly in need of cleaning at any given time. The best way that I have found to deal with this job is to clean the boxes every single day. As humans, we are creatures of habit. So, I believe that even though it was difficult in the beginning to train myself to be diligent about the litter boxes on a daily basis, now I feel like I’m cheating on myself if I come home and don’t address the boxes.

Most people will just scoop the litter and be done with it, but I actually take the boxes and dump them out completely. After I’ve cleaned them with an environmentally friendly spray, I dry them and put them back onto the floor. I also use a little baking soda in the litter to cut back on any excess odors. I have found that this process becomes less of a chore if I do things to make it less boring. Sometimes I challenge myself to complete the tasks in record time. On other occasions I’ll purchase a new spray or find a new scent, which makes me excited to clean the litter boxes. Personalizing new litter boxes (before they get dirty!) also gives me more pride about the little box area and motivates me to keep the area in tip top condition.

[Read more…]

Why Do We Keep Doing That?

When I attended UCLA —

“Why?”

“Why not?”