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You are here: Home / Archives for repetitive behaviors

Creatures of Habit

April 30, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus

Have you ever really truly analyzed how much of what we do is by rote?

habit-creature

Paying for groceries, the clerk asks,
“How are you?”

Our expected reply, stated without thought:
“Fine, how are you?”

Continuing the script she responds, “Great,” and upon finishing the transaction, adds the obligatory, “Have a nice day.”

Did she really care?

Should we opt to spill our guts about the problems we’re having with aging, would she request the other shoppers stand elsewhere while she counseled, consoled, and cajoled us? Survey says: Not a chance. The brief exchange near the cash register is a pre-ordained, almost-required, nicety; it’s just “what we do.”

That just scratches the surface; dig deeper and discover how much of our lives are run by autopilot.

Picture a typical weekday; we either arise with the help of an alarm — that pushes us to consciousness at the exact same moment as every other weekday — or we don’t use one at all. Upon rising, patterns control everything from the order of our morning constitutional to the clothes we choose. We are either “breakfast eaters” — or not. It’s not “I am” one day and “I’m not” the next. The average grocery store stocks over 40,000 items; yet even those of us who opt for breakfast choose from fewer than a handful of items every morning, the same selections we had yesterday and will eat tomorrow.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Habits, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Success Tagged With: attitude, changing habits, choices, control, new patterns, old habits, repetitive behaviors

Keep a Good Thought

September 14, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My wife and I tried breaking our nightly routine.

To alleviate muscle aches, we deduced that if we each slept on side of the bed where the other person usually lies, we might arise pain free. (It made sense in the moment.)

I make no claim that swapping pillows is a valiant act of bravado. That does nothing to diminish the reality that it, in fact, was awkward. Not simply “I-normally­-don’t–wear–this-color­-so-I-feel-like-everyone’s-staring-at-me” unpleasant; it was more akin to “Did-I-forgot-to-zip-something?” anxiety. We tossed, turned, bumped into each other multiple times, and waited twitchily for the arrival of Hypnos, the God of Slumber, only to be jilted on the mattress. After several fidgety hours, reverting to positions of yore, we obtained at last a modicum of shut-eye.
It’s not as if my bride and I, while writing our vows, discussed who would lay claim to which side of the bed.

“Do you, Scott, promise to love, cherish, and support Mary Ann until the end of your days — while swearing to snooze faithfully on the section of bed furthest from the nightstand?”

No, that’s not how it happens. Customs emerge. One moment, it’s an arbitrary behavior, next instant: Habit. Isn’t that how it is?

We set up repetitive behaviors for our ease; then, something alters them.

We are naked, abandoned, and lonely. Without habit’s landmarks, direction is lost; uneasiness swamps us. So, we rush back as quickly as possible, reassured finally by the embrace of the familiar.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Habits, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: anxiety, changing habits, creatures of habit, customs, good sleep habits, habit, habit change, nightly routine, old habits, repetitive behaviors

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