Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
This is an amazing video! It will take you about 20 minutes but it will give you insights into the difference between natural and synthesized happiness. And what’s most amazing to me is the conclusion Dan Gilbert, the presenter, draws (based on scientific data) about whether we’re happier when we have unlimited choices or when our choices are more narrow. (There are also some profound political implications in what he says at the end.)
Watch it.
By 22, I regained most of it. During that period, I avoided attending meetings, which had worked so well, and therefore suffered the consequences. Funny, isn’t it? You’ll do everything you can — except the one thing that gets you the results you want. Contrary creatures, we humans can be.
Finally returning, I sat in a meeting, embarrassed, ashamed, and sad; a thin, middle age woman addressed the assemblage. “My name’s Betty,” she said, holding up her “before photo,” “I’ve maintained a 100 pound weight loss for ten years.”
“One hundred pounds,” I thought. “I couldn’t even do that for half that time; no way I’ll make it.” It seemed the impossible dream.
This week (Tuesday, 9/27/2011), I am celebrating 17 years at my correct weight, after losing 70 pounds. (I had not regained everything I lost in earlier years; some lessons do stick.)
In these 6,200 plus days since I achieved “goal weight,” I’ve learned much. Space doesn’t allow for everything, yet, there’s room for a few observations; provided in the interest of helping others achieve the success I have been fortunate enough to experience. [Read more…]
You k
now I’m talking to you. Yes, you — no, not the guy behind you. I’m speaking to YOU. Look at me; quit pretending you think I’m referring to someone else.
Now, just stop; it’s for your own good. We both know it.
Yes, I know you’re busy. You have so many responsibilities and commitments. But that’s not going to fly this time. We’re all busy. We’re all overloaded. It’s a matter of priorities, plain and simple. This time, make it work, OK?
Oh, more excuses? Well, welcome to Excuse Central pal; know ‘em all. Got ‘em all right here. “Just a little bit won’t hurt.” “I deserve it; it’s been a tough week.” How about this one: “When things settle down, I’ll do it.” I don’t mean to be rude or crude, but the only time things will totally settle down is when six friends are carrying you away in a box.
Of course, there’s always my favorite: “I can stop whenever I want.” Yeah, right. If you can stop anytime, why did you let it get so out of control?
Do you enjoy unending aches and pains? Isn’t it just oodles of amusement avoiding the dark side of the closet because you’re afraid those unused clothes “shrunk” since you last wore them? Are we having fun now?
And finally, the ultimate kick in the pants: that undisguised glance in someone’s eyes when she can’t cloak how surprised she is by how large you’ve become since she last saw you. Just makes you feel warm all over doesn’t it? Sure, sure, she covers it quickly; after all, she’s not trying to be rude. But for that moment — that one, brief, instantaneous, short-lived, horrifyingly candid, flash — your sole desire is to drop through a hole in the floor. Honestly, do you really want to deal with that again? How many times will you avoid friends to prevent that from happening?
What’s that? You DON’T like those feelings? Oh, good, we’re making progress. But you don’t have the energy to change?
I hear you! But, how much energy does it take for the 24-hour discomfort in your own skin? Or missing out on your kid’s lives because you’re too tired to play? How much of your precious life-force do you waste feeling bad about yourself every thinking moment of each and every day? Makes the effort more worthwhile, doesn’t it?
Ready to stop now? Good. I’m pleased for you.
Step one is stop talking to this mirror; get out there, and take a walk.
In the drama section you discover a film depicting an incident from your childhood that was very embarrassing at the time it occurred. On the cover of the DVD is an old picture of your family. You can practically hear the mocking taunts of your siblings and feel the sting of Dad’s scolding. It happened so long ago, though, that you’ve learned to look back and laugh. That DVD can go back on the shelf, filed more accurately in the classic comedy section, because you’ve changed your belief about the meaning of that experience.
Beliefs are not inherently true – they’re just thoughts we think a lot. Over time, we’ve all revised some belief or other. Here are some common examples:
Your brain is organized similarly to the movie store filing system, with your senses (what you see, hear, feel, smell and taste) determining how you store and access the information. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of how the brain codes these sensory experiences to create a map of your personal and unique perception of reality. Adjusting the map rewires neural pathways, often quickly resulting in profound shifts in feeling and behavior, as well as beliefs about what is true or possible.
NLP is commonly used for rapid relief from phobias, trauma, anxiety, addiction and other issues where behavior or bodily performance is contrary to conscious desire or intention. And because NLP is based on the idea of modeling (if one person can learn to do something, then anyone can learn to do it), it is also effective for accelerating learning, improving memory, and cultivating excellence in any field.
Belief change underlies the process of quickly updating one’s mental filing system. Sometimes beliefs don’t evolve so easily or automatically, creating a sense of stuckness. That’s where a trained NLP practitioner can be useful to facilitate a variety of belief change techniques that may reframe the meaning of an experience, anchor more empowering feelings to familiar thoughts, or change the nature of the thoughts that are triggered under recurring circumstances.
Practice Exercise #1: Imagine sitting in the fourth row of an empty movie theater. On the screen you are watching yourself handle a difficult situation. Allow your consciousness to float out of your body and up to the projector booth. From there you can both observe yourself as you sit watching the film, and you can make edits to the movie being shown. Revise the film until you are watching yourself handle the situation in the most desirable way. Float out of the booth and into the scene so you can both be in the experience of handling it perfectly and see what that looks like on the screen. When it looks and feels just right, allow the version of you seated in the fourth row to merge with the on screen version and run through the scene from beginning to end a few more times. Exit the theater and notice what is different when you think of dealing with the situation for real.
When changing your habits, do not focus on what you have to give up; look toward what you will receive in the end. Change involves letting go of something, whether it’s a relationship or a way of life. That can be sad or frightening. Since no one WANTS to feel those, we tend to hang on longer than it’s healthier or productive to do so.
If, however, we turn our attention towards what we will receive from the change, it’s more inspirational. We are more inclined to move in the direction of what we want.
Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.