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You are here: Home / Archives for perception is reality

Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas from Multiple Angles

July 13, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

Tumult reigns.

In Louisiana and Minnesota, police tragically killed two innocent black men. Later that same week, the city of Dallas was held hostage as a vile murderous reprehensible individual ripped asunder the hopeful futures of five brave police officers, who were ironically protecting the rights of a crowd protesting the deaths of the two aforementioned black victims. Of course these are not the only examples of violence tearing through our national fabric of late. As President Obama said while consoling a grieving, shocked city at the memorial, “I’ve been to too many of these.”

The loss of any life is a loss to more than one.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, News, Newspaper Column Tagged With: black and white thinking, disagreement, perception is reality, perception of others, perceptions, vehement disagreement

You Cannot Change Reality

June 8, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

…but you can change your interpretation.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Failure, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Productivity, Self Talk Tagged With: berate oneself, failure, negative self talk, perception is reality, rejecting reality

Perception is Reality

January 21, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Perception is reality.

If someone feels something – whether or not you do – then they feel it.

Rather than trying to convince them to feel something else – which rarely ends with the results you’ll both want – acknowledge what they feel as accurate, then try to understand it and help figure out how to help them feel safe in what they feel.

Once you do that, you’re more likely to both get what you want.

Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Filed Under: Communicating, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: family conflict, handling conflict, perception, perception is reality

You Brought a Dog Into the Restaurant?

August 9, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

After ordering my submarine sandwich, I placed myself at the corner table and, when given the luxury of some extra time, engaged in one of my favorite activities: people watching.

On the sidewalk outside the window in bustling downtown Seattle walked a non-descript gentleman. He appeared to be on break from one of the local offices and was walking a leashed Beagle when he paused outside the restaurant. Unfortunately, the only accurate description that comes to me is “average.” He was about 40, dark hair, six feet tall, normal build, dressed in black slacks, a blue button-down shirt, and sport coat.

Deciding he was as good as any other subject of my momentary observation skills, I watched as he approached another man I assume to be homeless. I could not hear the conversation through the glass. The dog patiently waited, his brown eyes glancing back and forth between the faces of the two men.

When the conversation ended, the man of the street pushed his stuffed shopping cart against the building and entered my restaurant with Mr. Average (and his dog), approaching the counter as a threesome.

Being the guardian of a mini-schnauzer and two orange cats, I have nothing against the more furry members of our families. However, I was raised in a different era, and I am under the impression health code regulations prevent pets from entering restaurants unless deemed as “service animals.” Based on this (correct or incorrect) assumption, I became judgmental. “How dare he bring an animal in to this restaurant!” my inner dialogue harrumphed. “Who does he think he is? Does he have no respect for the other patrons?”

Due to my perception of this seemingly inconsiderate action, I made up from whole cloth an unfavorable back-story about a man I had not even met. Moreover, I managed to extrapolate it to the general sorry state of the world. It went something like this:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Gratitude, Inspiration, Newspaper Column Tagged With: charity, down on his luck, helping hand, helping others, homeless man, incorrect assumption, inner dialogue, man of the street, people helping others, perception is reality

Labeling Results Determines Future Results

July 19, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Recently, I stumbled upon some noteworthy details.

First factoid: Supposedly (I say “supposedly” as I’m not sure of its veracity), the average overweight American needs to shed 38 pounds to level the scales at his correct weight. Obviously, some must lose more, and some less. Yet, should one take the collective poundage our citizenry must remove to be healthy, and divide it by the number of citizens who must drop those pounds; the resulting number would be just shy of 40.

Factoid two: That same “average American,” upon deciding to rid himself of the above mentioned 38 pounds, usually quits prior to 16 weeks; a shade less than four months.

The final datum is that — despite pie-in-the-sky claims made by “miracle weight loss cures” falsely proclaiming one can drop five to ten pounds a week — an “average” healthy, sustainable (two important distinctions) weight loss is between one-half and two pounds per week. Let’s split the difference down the middle and declare that number to be one and a quarter pounds every seven days.

From these bits of information, we can make a central deduction.

If the “average person” desirous of losing the “average amount of weight” sheds the “average amount per week” and quits in the “average number of weeks,” he will be approximately half way to his goal when he throws in the towel. (Sixteen weeks multiplied by 1.25 pounds per week = 20 pounds; just the other side of the midway point of 38.)

This prompts a quasi-philosophical question: Is one a “success” or “failure” if she drops 20 pounds, when in actuality, her goal is 38? It’s one of those “half-empty, half-full” scenarios.

The greater issue is not how many pounds one might lose, but how one views how many pounds she has lost.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Diet, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Power of Attitude, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: attitude, correct weight, diet, emotions, motivation, perception is reality, perfectionism, philosophical question, scales, successes

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