Stop Worrying so Much

August 15, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Worry is interest on a debt not yet owed.

We get confused. We think if we can just worry “hard enough,” we can make things go better.

Logically, that doesn’t make sense. But this isn’t about logic. It’s about emotion.

If something is worrying you, follow this simple plan:

1) Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” If the answer is minimal, refocus your thoughts on something else.
2) If it’s severe, ask yourself, “Can I do anything about this?”
3) If the answer is “no,” it’s time to get support and let go. If the answer is “yes,” it’s time to do something.

No path leads to more worrying.

Worrying depletes your ability to solve the tough problems, and ruins your mood the remainder of the time.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Who do You Think You Are? How We Describe Ourself Matters

August 10, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I have a very unassuming, quick-response question.

Don’t ponder the answer; just blurt it out. Ready? (Um, that’s not the question.)

Here we go: “Who are you?”

At first blush, it’s such an innocuous query and our replies come by rote. We provide our name. But, in reality, that’s not accurate, because my name is not WHO I am, it’s WHAT I am called; it’s a label.

Okay, take it down a level: Who is — in my case — Scott Marcus?

Well, I could reply, “a man,” “father,” or even “American.” Those are all true — and actually more descriptive than responding with my name. They deliver more detail, but are still painfully vague. One person’s “man” creates images of football players, while another’s is an accountant, neither of which fit me. Piling on additional descriptors becomes the next step, “56 year old speaker, writer, father of two sons, married, lives in Eureka.”

Certainly this constructs a more vibrant portrayal, but it is still soooooo scratching the surface. For example, should I move from my coastal community to the Arizona desert, would I then be a different person? Better yet, am I still the same person I was a few years ago, or do every 365 days establish a new being?

Circumstances change, but that alone does not mean we are no longer who we were; there is a consistency that remains our core. These modifiers therefore, no matter how many we use, are not answering the core issue. Something lacks.

So, why does this matter?

[Read more…]

The Route to De-stress is through the Heart

August 4, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Stress creates a huge impact on your mind and body.

Stress might have a slow or a sudden effect on your heart. It might lead to heart diseases and even a life-threatening heart attack. Stress is an unavoidable part of our life; it is not possible to get rid of stress. All you can do is avoid it or find ways to deal with it. You need to take care of yourself first to take care of others. Pay attention to the needs of your body and mind in order to take care of yourself. Follow a few rules of life to deal with stress and see the difference in your health.

Symptoms of stress

Symptoms of stress are sleeplessness, aches and pain, losing and gaining weight, etc. Recognizing the symptoms and working on them is very important to live a healthy life.

Management

Give yourself enough time: Very often we forget ourselves. Remember yourself first, if you want a happy and healthy heart. Be good to yourself and give yourself enough time.

Have food that is healthy for your heart: Avoid food that is full of trans-fats such as a lot of fried food, fast food, cakes, etc. Restrict yourself from taking in a lot or refined sugar. Use food that helps to reduce cholesterol like extra virgin olive oil and garlic with your daily food. Use fish oil as it is very good for your heart and is a source of omega 3 fatty acid.

Have a balanced diet: Your food needs to include everything from minerals to vitamins, proteins, iron, carbohydrate and even fats in a proper proportion. Make sure the food that you consume contains everything your body needs. Make sure you have a balanced diet. [Read more…]

Overcoming Fear

April 4, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the overcoming.

Fear is usually something that happens when we get too far into the future. Most of the time, we’re doing all right in the present tense. But, something happens and we spin it out into the future. We imagine “worst case scenarios,” picturing all that could go wrong rather than what could go right. Because we are painting the negative so boldly, our emotions adjust, our bodies tighten, we become frightened.

[Read more…]

Are you ashamed of asking for help?

November 20, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This is a letter from someone asking for my help after feeling embarrassed about it. (Note the greater message and my comments at the end.)

Reaching out to others for my own needs is very new to me and I am very awkward at it.

In the past I have been the ‘fixer and care provider.’ When I wrote you I did a, “Wow I’m reaching out to someone who is basically a stranger and he might just think I’m nuts.” Then I convinced myself I was nuts for reaching out to you and the spin went from there….

I’ve been to the gym 4 times this week, eaten decently, done some good work in the Marianne Williamson book, and was feeling accomplished, and yesterday I found myself bombarded by critics and weight prejudice in the places I typically feel safe. Which started my own mental fight and internal critic rolling. So I guess I started tossing baby, bathwater, and rubber ducky. Hope this makes sense.

In reply:

It makes perfect sense; I do the same thing. However, one of the things I have recently learned is even powerful people have needs. We all need help periodically; it’s part of the human condition.

We are far more critical on ourselves than most people are on us. If we were to say out loud to children what we say internally, we’d all be locked up. Find some time to be positive. It can’t hurt.

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