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You are here: Home / Archives for facing fear

Walking a Minefield: Tribute to Friend

April 4, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s been said the difference between depression and grief is that the former seduces, while the latter attacks.

Whether it’s delivered by phone, direct conversation, email, or – ever more prevalent these days – via social media; the effects remain the same. Word blasts you in the solar plexus as a surprising sucker punch. A tsunami of shock flooding away whatever thoughts had been active the instant prior, blood rushes from your head, you stagger slightly, and then the awful reality of the moment clamps itself firmly on to your psyche, a rabid dog unwilling to let go.

Shake it as you might, the jaws of grief hold tightly; the only effective tools to pry loose its pincers are acceptance of this new horrific, hurting actuality; and patience, allowing time to apply — however slowly — its healing salve.

Looking back on the twisted road that to date has been my life’s journey, one of the main thoroughfares on which I’ve traveled has been my involvement in the media.

Starting as a college DJ at UCLA, I spent decades on the air and behind the scenes, eventually ending up as a media coordinator and consultant (among other jobs). There was an expression among “air personalities” back then: “You can tell the success of a disc jockey by the size of the trailer attached to his car.” Between the years of 1977 and the early eighties, I had no fewer than nine addresses. Tribes of nomads were we, wayfaring across this vast land, U-hauls in tow, pursuing larger audiences and higher wattage, mostly in pursuit of the Holy Grail of prime time on a clear-channel 50,000-watt blowtorch.

Some found it. Most took a detour — as did I, ending up on the Northcoast of California in 1983 to program an AM/FM combo. My original plan? Stay among the redwoods for a few years before moving to the bay area, intent on afternoon drive on KFRC. Should 35 be labeled as “a few years,” there’s still time. (Of course, KFRC has been gone since 2005 so there is that.)

Over the last 24 hours, I’ve heard distressing news about two of the tent posts of my life for these last three-plus decades.

One of my closest friends has been fighting cancer. Recently, he was told there was nothing left to do, “Go home and live your life as well as you can.” I fear that a future column will pay tribute to him.

Yet, today, I awoke to find out that Pete Meyer, morning personality on Power 96 in Eureka, passed away shockingly, suddenly, without foretoken.

It’s appropriate that as I write this, gray clouds suffocate our sky line, embracing the melancholy that this community now collectively bears.

If you don’t live among the towering titan trees and rocky coasts in Humboldt county, I’ll bet you know someone like Pete.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Inspiration, News, Newspaper Column, Personal, Relationships, Tribute Tagged With: death of a loved one, facing death, facing fear, gratitude, grief, happiness, loss, relationships

Get Your Hopes Up

May 17, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In my former career, there was an adage, “You can tell how successful a DJ is by the size of the trailer behind his car.”

Since the logistics of moving oneself to a new city is considerably easier than moving a city to where one broadcasts, disc jockeys were nomadic. My personal story brought me to where I now live after bouncing around the west, “playing the hits” at radio stations ranging from Provo, Utah to Palmdale, California.

In order to secure new work, one would send out five-inch reel-to-reel tapes (um, remember, this was the seventies) to radio stations posting in trade magazines who were seeking “air talent,” which is what we were euphemistically called. Tapes consisted of an hour of one’s show with the music omitted so the prospective program director could hear skill level and style.

For most, the usual career progression was to start out as weekend fill-in jock on a small market station and little by little climb the rungs, hopefully ending up at a major market in a prime-time slot (referred to as a “drive time”).

After working as afternoon drive in Redding for a few years, my roaming inclination was engaged and I was sending tapes to stations across the country; willing to hitch up my trailer at a moment’s notice and go wherever anyone was willing to have me.

Portland called!

I was being considered for a weekend slot at a 50,000-watt AM clear channel rock station with an extended reach. The possibility was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Said my therapist, “How are you feeling about your prospects?”

“I’m nervous. I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

“Why would you not want to get your hopes up?”

“Because if do — and then I don’t get the gig —  I’ll be disappointed.”

He paused, nodded thoughtfully, and then asked, “So, how will you feel if you don’t get this job?”

“Disappointed,” I replied, “I think it would be really great to be on a big station like that.”

“But I thought you weren’t getting your hopes up,” said he.

“I’m not.”

“But you’re still going to be disappointed?”

That loud knocking you hear is paradox banging on the door.

“Well, yes, I guess I am. I’m afraid that it won’t go the way I want.”

“A couple things,” he began,

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Happiness, Inspiration, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Success Tagged With: emotions, excitement, facing fear, fear of rejection, inspiration, overcoming fear

How The Shootings Have Affected Us: Finding the Best in Each Other

June 16, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There were a dozen of us scattered about the tables in the coffee shop.

Some were working on computers, others having quiet conversations; personally, I was preparing for a class later that day. Of course, there were a handful of baristas behind the counter.

No one — including myself — paid much mind when he opened the door to enter.

He looked “relatively normal;” forty-something, about five and half feet in height. His clothes and dark brown hair were slightly disheveled and somewhat dirty; both of those could have been attributed to him being a workingman ending a long day. What was not “relatively normal” was as he stood at the entrance, blocking others from coming or going, he raised his voice and started shouting at us, making direct eye contact across the room with me.

At first I wasn’t sure what he was saying; caught off guard by what is certainly not expected or standard behavior.

The gist of his tirade was we “had better change teams immediately” or we were all “going to pay.” His screaming was steeped with fury and rage and punctuated with a string of expletives culminating in a warning about how he was going to “f” us all up. Stunned, we sat; gawking and puzzled, until he lifted something from near his worn shoes, slammed shut the door, turned on his heels, and disappeared into the foot traffic flowing along the thoroughfare.

We – the patrons and employees – glanced at each other. One of the servers, about to leave for her break, commented, “I think I’ll wait a few minutes.” Several moments passed; heart rates returned to normal. Our behaviors returned to what they were prior the rude interruption.

I have to be honest; when he bent down, I flinched.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Hope, News, Newspaper Column Tagged With: emotions, facing fear, News, overcoming fear, politics, sadness

Video: Extreme Amusement Park

March 5, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I can’t believe people willingly get on rides like these.

 

Post by Eduardo Sterblitch.

All I can say is “No way!”

Filed Under: Misc, Video Tagged With: amusement park, facing fear, overcoming fear, video

Stay in the Present

July 7, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

You are where you plant your feet.

drawing-holding-tree

When we get sad, we are focusing on the past. When we get frightened, we are focusing on the future.

To be happy, we must focus on the present; after all, it’s all we really have.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Gratitude, Habits, Inspiration, mental health, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude Tagged With: being present, facing fear, future, memories, sadness, the future

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